ME and OCD

OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I believe we all have OCD to a certain level – some more than others. For me OCD is just another fragment of the complexities of my brain. As with ADD, symptoms of OCD I deal with on a daily basis and I try to not let the repetitive behaviors and thoughts get to me. I try to go with the flow and not challenge the OCD thoughts and behaviors, but gently shy away from them. My endless cycles of thoughts and behaviors can at times be difficult to deal with. As a younger person OCD played an integral part in my road to a failed marriage, psychological issues and many years of therapy. Some recovery took place, but today – still dealing with OCD.

Forcing a behavior change or forcing a thought out of my mind is extremely difficult and at times makes me feel crazy. Trying to change a ritual or routine (see my post: ‘I like routines, do you?’) is difficult and just trying to stop my OCD thoughts is nearly impossible and extremely tiring.

The WebMD website has very good information about OCD – I myself currently exhibit these symptoms of OCD:

  • Fear of making a mistake
  • Need for order, symmetry, or exactness
  • Repeatedly checking things, such as locks or stoves
  • Constant counting, mentally or aloud, while performing routine tasks

I use to exhibit these symptoms of OCD, but have now overcome:

  • Excessive doubt and the need for constant reassurance
  • Constantly arranging things in a certain way

I deal with these symptoms by being consistent and conscience of my responses to certain conditions. Doing this over and over eventually overcomes my initial subconscious behavior and changes it to a behavior more acceptable. This process has helped me overcome some symptoms and reduce the level of others.

I still have a fear of making a mistake, but I am getting much better with this. The need for order, symmetry, or exactness is very much still an issue that at times drives me crazy. Repeatedly checking things, such as locks or stoves continues to be an issue, but does not prevent me from everything things. Constant counting, mentally or aloud, while performing routine tasks is an everyday symptom that I believe goes hand in hand with symmetry.

OCD and ADD combined with other characteristics have caused much discomfort for me. The resulting psychological issues resulted in addictions, suicide attempts and a psychiatric hospital stay.

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