They call me ‘Bear’

They call me ‘Bear’

This is the nickname my family (specifically my dad) gave me as a young child and occasionally calls me today. As a young child and now as an adult, I am grumpy in the mornings: like a bear that has just awoke from hibernation. A bear just awoke from a long hibernation and is hungry and therefore not in a good mood. A bear not in a good mood and therefore ready to fight and claw and kill if necessary.

This is me in the mornings as a child and today as an adult I continue to be this way some mornings – I have made great improvement in my morning mood and behavior. I am not sure why I was like this as a child: I assume I received enough sleep the night before, but maybe just starting another day put me in a bad mood. Whatever the reason, this is why they call me ‘Bear’.

I like waking and rising early in the mornings and have done so for many years. In my 40’s I started getting up at 4:00 AM and did this for almost 15 years; now I no longer work and I stopped setting the alarm and rise in the mornings between 5:00 – 5:30 AM. I like early mornings, but sometimes the ‘Bear’ wakes with me, inside of me and not in a good mood. I am much better at not letting the ‘Bear’ take over. This is achieved with my morning routine – remember my post: I like routines, do you?

As a young child, I would get up in the mornings and have coffee; yes I started drinking coffee in grade school. I remember making my way downstairs of our house and sitting in a rocking chair and my coffee would be waiting for me. I would sit in silence drinking my coffee and no one would bother me, after all I was the ‘Bear’. Currently as an adult, I rise in the mornings, the coffee is made, I sit in my rocking chair and no one bothers me. I guess some things never change. But I have changed my grumpy ‘Bear’ behavior into a softer ‘Bear’ behavior: certainly not a cuddly ‘Bear’, but a ‘Bear’ that is tolerable.

The tolerable ‘Bear’ is allowed several hours in the mornings to not be disturbed. My partner knows he should not break this rule or the grumpy ‘Bear’ may come out and the day starts badly. After I drink my coffee in silence with no one bothering me, I will exercise and then meditate. Even though I will go to the gym later in the morning, I like to exercise in the early morning. With the coffee waking my brain, the exercise will wake my body. I them meditate because for me as mentioned in my post: Mindfulness Meditation, my mind is swarming with thoughts and ideas even at this early hour of my day. The meditation helps to calm my mind and help me focus on the day to come.

They still call me ‘Bear’: but this ‘Bear’ has grown into one that is not as grumpy as once was.

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