My Marriage

I was married at age 18 the summer before my senior year of high school. I was the only student in high school that was married and this situation made it a difficult senior year. I married my high school sweetheart because she agreed to marry me after I said I needed something different in my life. Nothing romantic about the moment; I remember her and me playing miniature golf and I said I wanted to get married. That was it, not really a proposal and there was no ring; I just needed something different in my life. She was a year older and already graduated high school and in that summer we became married. No wedding and only a few people would know ahead of time, you see we eloped to the next town and just did it.

I can truly say that I loved her at that time and in a different way today still do; after all she is the mother of my children and played an important role in raising them. Besides love, I believe an important reason for me wanting to get married had to do with my parent’s divorce when I was 16. Their divorce was upsetting for me and I was unable to understand after over 2 decades of marriage why they would part ways. These 2 people my parents, I always assumed would be married forever. Soon after, I understood the circumstances and as an adult I obviously know situations change as people change.

For my marriage, I envisioned the house and the white picketed fence with children playing in the green manicured yard. I wanted this and assumed it would be the situation that would be right for me. We would be happy, living a good life; raising our kids and watching them grow. We bought a house with no white picketed fence and the yard was green with grass and some weeds. 4 years after we were married, a son was born, followed by a 2nd son 2 years later, and a 3rd son 2 years later. Now we had a house full!

We were happy for years and we had our struggles, we had our good times and we were creating memories. With 3 kids and a job working many hours with little pay was stressful. With the stress of all these responsibilities, my ADD and OCD symptoms started to manifest and became stronger to the point it was causing issues within the marriage and within me. I remember always straightening pictures in the house and as soon as one of the boys finished consuming their soda, I would have to take the cup and wash it immediately. For the most part, the house was spotless as I was a neat freak and went out of my way to keep things tidy. With 3 boys running around, keeping the house tidy was never ending and I had to give in to having toys everywhere in the house instead of where I thought they should be; which drove me crazy at that time.

The marriage went through a separation period, a getting back together period and ultimately a divorce. The house without the white picketed fence was foreclosed, the yard was no longer green and now there were many weeds. I was once again upset over a divorce of a marriage of 2 people my wife and me that I assumed would be married forever.

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