No, I am not writing about a great depression of economics in the 1980s, but the great depression of me. As mentioned in earlier posts, my mind with all its defects, disorders and dysfunctions manifested into a decade of depression, despair and disappointment. This decade of my life had some good happenings, the most important being my 3 sons were born in the 1980s.
This decade evolved into depression, attempted suicides, a stay in a psychiatric hospital, and years of therapy and medications that carried into the next decade. You see my ADD and OCD symptoms increased to a point there was trouble in my marriage (post: My Marriage) and I was having difficulties staying calm around my sons. As a result of these issues I became very depressed to the point that it was difficult for me to get out of bed on some days. I think I remember once staying in bed for up to 3 days with no desire to do anything. I also remember lying in bed and my young sons and their friends were playing in the backyard. The noise bothered me and I lost control and went to the backyard and yelled at them to be quiet. I seem to remember my wife’s friend whose kids were playing with my sons was there also. The result of my outburst did not set well with the friend and my wife and I believe this is the day my wife took the kids and left me. This event I believe was the beginning of the end of my marriage.
Now alone and dealing with additional stresses, the depression became so severe and I became so hopeless in everything; I lost my wife, lost my sons, eventually lost my job. I decided I no longer wanted to live and to end it all. After my first attempt to kill myself, this started me on the extremely long recovery that would finally result in a failed marriage and take up to 13 years of therapy. In a future post I will discuss my attempted suicides and how I feel about this subject today. I also will discuss my experience in a psychiatric hospital and the benefits I received from therapy.
The 1980s depression played a major role in my life and was a turning point. As with the great depression of the 1930s that was devastating to many countries, the world did recover and became stronger. I would also recover from my great depression of the 1980s and become stronger as a result of it.
Wow, here I am today writing about me, my life, my struggles, my failures, my strengths and my successes; and ‘The Great Depression of the 1980s’ played a major role in it.