Sometimes I feel we are living our lives in a petri dish. Do you ever feel this way?
I ask the question, why am I here and what is my purpose? Am I on this earth, existing for a reason that will be clear to me before I die or after death? I mentioned in my post ‘Thoughts From Years Past’, at one point in my life about 13 years ago, I started going to church. I needed help during a difficult time and I found it there. Prior to that difficult time I would question my purpose and why God would put me through struggles and challenges. My time spent going to church helped me get through a difficult time and it was good for me, but I never really received the answer I truly searched for and needed. Why am I here, what is the purpose of my existence and why all the struggles and challenges, why?
I stopped going to church, not because I did not receive an answer to my questions but for reasons of a different matter. That was several years ago and I do not really miss it, I believe the church provided me something I needed at that particular time in my life. Will I go back to church, maybe someday I will. Since my church days, I still wonder what the answers are to my questions. There are days I think more about the purpose of life, our existence, our reason and what it is all about. Sometimes I think maybe we are specimens in a petri dish and this world, our lives are an experiment for something, someone greater than us. Maybe we were created by a God and this world this life of ours is a test of some sort. If it is a test, than I have failed; but then again there may still be more time to pass the test.
I feel certain I will leave this world someday not really knowing the reason for it, the purpose of our existence. I feel certain I will leave this world someday not really knowing if there is something more after we die. Honestly I am ok with not knowing what comes after death; I do not really need to know. What I really need to know is my purpose, the meaning of my existence and why me with my struggles, my contests with myself, why me right now?
The more I ask, the more I do not know the answers. So in the interim, while I am here in this world existing and struggling, I will continue to grow, attempt to gain an understanding, fight the good fight, and find a purpose. I will leave this world someday and my hope is that God will say to me ‘You passed the test!’ or that something, someone that is greater than me will say ‘He was a good specimen.’ in the life in a petri dish.