In my post ‘Happy Dad’s Day’, I indicated I guess growing up I liked my father.
When I was a very young child and part of my teen years, my father owned several businesses. These businesses were in different cities, towns and states and it took much of his time away from home. He worked hard and provided well for the family. I started working for my father at a young age and continued to work for him into my teen years. These years instilled in me a good work ethic that I carried with me throughout my work life and every other aspect of life. What I would like to convey today is those lessons my father taught me along the way both intentionally and unintentionally. With me a father myself, I have tried to teach my kids lessons in their lives that I hope would help them. I have made mistakes as my father has but I did many good deeds as my father did both intentionally and unintentionally.
My father unintentionally taught me to not be like him. I think most sons want to be like their father, but not me. He had characteristics that I did not want when I became an adult and then a father myself. I took the characteristics that I believed were not beneficial and did not apply them to my life as a father and as a person. One of these unintentional lessons I learned was to not be materialistic. At a young age my awareness of my father was that he was materialistic; he had the nice house, the nice cars, the nice cloths and the nice jewelry. He had many nice things. My father and I did not have a close relationship until much later in life and when I was a young child growing into my teens I needed a close relationship – but he did not know that – I never told him. He unintentionally taught me to have a close relationship with my kids.
The only thing I can think of my father intentionally taught me was a good work ethic and with hard work much can be achieved.
He taught me to have a good work ethic, he taught me not to be materialistic and he taught me to have a close relationship with my kids. I do not have as close relationship with my kids as I would like, but I tried. And maybe my father tried; maybe he tried showing his love for us through providing materials that were nice. Maybe he tried showing his love by intentionally not being there because he was unable to show his love physically. I am not sure what struggles my father had as I was growing up and most likely will never know.
Today, my dad and I have a close relationship and he has grown to become a dad I very much appreciate and admire. This admiration comes from my dad who taught me plenty.