My partner and I use the word ‘Stupid’ quite often. We use the word more in the context of a synonym and not the actual definition. Watching TV, performing an activity, whatever: a popular response of ours is ‘That’s stupid’ or just ‘Stupid’. For example, my opinion of the reality TV shows ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette’ are that these shows are ‘Stupid’. What I really am saying is these TV shows are ludicrous, senseless, trivial, mindless and meaningless. I prefer to use the word ‘Stupid’ instead – this word encompasses meaning. By the way, sorry if I offended anyone who likes ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette’, I hope you do not stop reading my posts because of my opinion.
Ok, back to ‘Stupid’ – I started using this word at a very young age to describe myself in the literal definition – lacking intelligence or common sense. Later in life my mom would tell me she did not know why I would say that about myself. She was unaware what I was feeling about me at a very young age starting back in 2nd grade (see my post: 2nd Grade & 2nd Grade). So I continually told myself I was stupid and believed this well into my adulthood. No one really told me otherwise, I most likely would not have believed them anyway.
Using this word in the literal sense at another or to oneself on a continual basis is dangerous. In today’s society, this name calling would be considered a form of bullying. Calling another person or oneself ‘stupid’ is a label to define the other person or yourself. This constant labeling target’s the self-esteem and self-worth of a person, especially children. I believe with the constant bullying of myself; me calling myself stupid, this label became a reality. That internal voice of mine kept the phrase ‘Your stupid’ close by always reinforcing these words when mistakes or failures were present. The constant bulling of myself and the internal voice reinforcement prevented me from staying focus on learning and therefore not doing well in school.
Later in life I would overcome this self-bulling and realize I am not stupid and I would end the power that the internal voice had with regards to the ‘Your Stupid’ label.
premierespeakers.com has a good article by four-time Olympian Ruben Gonzales that starts with this –
Top achievers in every field understand that words have the power to condition the mind to succeed or to fail.
Whenever you say something, your mind tries to build a case for it. If you call yourself “stupid” the mind does a subconscious “Google search” on the word stupid and pulls up a list of every stupid thing you’ve ever done in your life. Now, you have the proof that you are stupid and you start acting that way. If you call yourself a winner, your mind pulls up all your winning moments. And you start acting like a winner.
In fact, if you are not getting the results you want out of life, it can probably be traced to your self talk. What you say to yourself will influence what you think. What you think influences what you do. What you do all the time becomes your habits and your habits determine your results and ultimately, your destiny.
Today, I am no longer stupid, but occasionally do things I refer to as ‘Stupid’; meaning ludicrous, senseless, trivial, mindless and meaningless – and that is ok. My internal voice tells me I am an ordinary person doing ordinary things – and that is also ok.