Another documented ‘Thoughts From Years Past’ that reflects what was going on in my life at a particular time. My post ‘I want to write a book’ describes my desire to write a book and several times in the past started this process, without proceeding very far. In my post ‘Thoughts From Years Past.11’, I ended with ‘We all survived and years later I came to know a man of great character and goodness.’
The following documentation is a continuation of those pages.
Thoughts I wrote from September, 2004 – (unedited from original writing)
The marriage created more stress and struggles. My senior year of high school was tough as I worked two to three jobs in order for us to survive. I thought the marriage was needed in order to change my life for me to continue on somehow. I wanted to have a reason to live and not just exist. I wanted a reason to live a life that had meaning and not one of insecurity and worthlessness. But the meaning was not there, the purpose was not there. I did graduate high school, just barely though.
Thursday, September 23, 2004, 8:00 AM and it is another day in the office. What will today bring? I imagine joy and happiness, peace and patience, love, grace and contentment. As I write this story of my life, it reminds me where I have been and where I am current day. I appreciate my life; all the trials and tribulations, all the triumphs and successes. There have been many of both that I will continue to share in these writings. I believe this journey called life is like a school which I am taught lessons that will aid me in becoming a better person. I truly believe this for everyone. I believe we all are at different levels or stages and throughout our lives our experiences are the lessons from which we learn. Events are thrown in there to test us on what we have learned. I have failed many tests, but with experience and practice have successfully passed tests.
One of these tests is my relationship with my 3 boys. Yes, I have boys, actually young men now. I spoke with them this past week and have gained a sense of peace with myself knowing they are doing well. Our relationship is special and fulfilling. But it was not always like this. These men were given life by their mom and me and have been taught all that we could teach them the best way we knew how. I believe we did okay, they appear to be happy even with the struggles they have. They are each on their own journey of life working on fulfilling their hopes and dreams. I love my boys with all my heart and pray their lives are filled with happiness, joy and meaning. I have a great respect for them that I guess most dads have for their kids. They bring a sense of peace and focus in my life that at one time was hectic and confusing.
….to be continued….
(more about my marriage in this post: My Marriage)
(more about my sons in this post: My 3 Sons)