Holding Back Emotions on the Treadmill

I was on the treadmill this morning at the gym listening to my 70s music.  Each aerobics machine has its own TV and I usually turn it off because I do not like the distraction.  My partner is on the treadmill next to me and always has the TV on watching the news channels.  I look over for a glance and see the horrible news of the shooting of a TV journalist and cameraman on live TV.

My heart sinks and I hold back emotions.  Why?

Why do innocent people have to die like this, why?

I am saddened about this act and my heart is still heavy hours later, why?

It will be all over the news today and later I will listen and watch the latest on this tragic event.

I extend my prayers to the families, the friends, the colleagues, the audience, the loved ones – their hearts are broken.

We live in a world now full of medal detectors at all government offices and airports, movie theaters are now searching bags, what is next?

Whenever a tragedy such as this occurs, I think to myself, could this happen to me some day?

Will I be on a treadmill someday, exercising and minding my own business and someone walks in and starts shooting.  Could this happen?

Yes it can – and before today’s event – with previous events – I have thought this before – could this happen to me?

Yes it can, but I will not stop using the treadmill or going to see a movie or grocery store shopping or going anywhere else.  I will not allow fear to keep me away from those that wish to hurt others.

I will not stop living – I hope the living does not stop me – when will it end?

I am home writing this post and no longer holding the emotions back – I cry for loss of these people as I cry for the loss of life itself.

6 thoughts on “Holding Back Emotions on the Treadmill

    • Thank you. Being in my mid 50s I remember a time when life seemed to be not so complicated – times are changing – but them again there has always been violence in our world – it just seems it is more senseless today – I don’t know.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The nation becomes more violent as as our democracy continues its decline.

        Now it’s all about rights, not achievement, not level playing fields.

        Just rights that are only truly available to people who have the time and the money to hire lawyers.

        What good is a right to equal access to a job if you have no access to schools, vocational programs, healthcare, and legal representation?

        Rights are great…but the Civil Rights Movement was not about making the world safe for an upper class rainbow coalition of elites. Our problem is classism.

        MLK understood that.

        Revisionist historians prefer that we forget that the March on Washington was a called the Poor People’s March.

        Liked by 1 person

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