Another documented ‘Thoughts From Years Past’ that reflects what was going on in my life at a particular time. My post ‘I want to write a book’ describes my desire to write a book and several times in the past started this process, without proceeding very far. In my post ‘Thoughts From Years Past.13’, I ended with ‘I added to my list of failures me being a worthless lousy father. ’
The following documentation is a continuation of those pages.
Thoughts I wrote from September, 2004 – (unedited from original writing)
Shortly after graduation and before the first child was born, I worked several jobs from waiting tables to house maintenance repairs to painting, to finally getting hired as a manager trainee in a fast food restaurant. After all this was the environment I grew up working in and knew so well. I excelled and became general manager in a short period of time. The responsibilities were numerous and the stress associated with the job was high. I did what I always did, worked hard but not handling the stress well. I wanted so much to earn my superiors approval, my dad’s approval and everyone else’s approval that I created great expectations for myself. These expectations would never be met as I set them so high they in themselves created tension and stress that resulted in failure and disappointment within me. This state of mind was the stage setting for a dramatic play, a play that was to unfold with the births of my boys.
….to be continued….
(more about my sons in this post: My 3 Sons)