Son #3 Now Married

untitled1                      This past weekend I attended the wedding of my son #3, you can read more about this in my post ‘He started it!’.  With his 29th birthday next month, he waited late to become married.  It is never too late to for marriage; some people find their love early in life and others later.

He is my youngest son, the son I have less in common with.  Yes I am his dad, but I have not been a dad for him.  As indicated in my post ‘My Marriage’, my 3 sons were born and I started having issues controlling myself and my life.  After a brief separation from my wife, we decided to try again and we moved to a large city and moved from the small city I called home for 29 years.  My son #3 was 3 years old at this time and I do not remember why, but the decision was made to let him stay and live with my in-laws his grandparents; I knew he would be in great hands.

So the move took place and son #3 stayed behind – and this would be the last of me as fulltime dad to him.  Within a year of the move another separation took place and eventually the divorce which would take my ex-wife and sons #1 and #2 back to the small city to reunite with son #3.  I stayed in the large city where I continue to reside today and I have a relationship with my sons, but son #3 is different.

We say ‘I love you’ to each other and I can give him a hug – but son #3 is different.

images1                The wedding of my son #3 and now daughter in-law took place on a ranch and it was emotional for me to witness.  My new daughter in-law and son #3 are very much in love and it shows.  I am extremely happy for both and they will have a wonderful life together.

My son #3 has grown into a man I am extremely proud of and though we have a good relationship, my hope is he knows that I was not there as a fulltime dad not because I did not want to, but I had to.  I had to leave the family I so desperately wanted and take care of me.  I did not take care of me necessarily for me but for him and my other sons as well.  My brain works differently and at times people do not understand me, so I had to work on me.  My sons were raised to be good men, by their mom, their families, and by me in a small way.

This past weekend’s wedding was beautiful; I was able to spend some time with all my sons and this I am thankful for.  I spoke to them words of encouragement, support, love and the proudness I have of each one of them.  I am grateful I played a small part in their growing from boys to men.

Congratulations son #3 and my new daughter in-law.

17 thoughts on “Son #3 Now Married

  1. Hey Spear. Congratulations. I actually got a bit misty-eyed at reading this. Like you, I have three children. Two boys and one daughter–my youngest, being my daughter just turned 26. Due to the horrific marriage I had with an alcoholic, my kids have commitment issues. They are fantastic kids and all successful, but none of them wants to settle down. I put the blame on me for staying in a bad marriage for so long. Oh well, it was nice and refreshing to read about your son. Best for him and his wife and I do believe that you are the very proud dad! XOXOXO!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your sincere words. I have a great deal of respect for you in raising your kids and please do not blame yourself for being a good mother. Through my writing I am learning that I tried to be the dad I wanted to be, but could not. I am learning that I actually was a good dad because I have come to realize I had to leave their lives in order for them to have good lives. I think they are starting to understand that now – I am. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations! What an exciting time. I wouldn’t worry yourself too much; it is extremely important to make sure YOU are healthy and working well. Without that there isn’t much to offer anyone else. I think as we grow older we see this, and we realize why our parents did things we may not have understood when we were children. I’m glad your relationships are good; there is always time to make them stronger.

    Liked by 2 people

      • Of course! We’re all going through struggles and dealing with things; it’s important to know people do care and are there to support you. 🙂 I am very glad they’re starting to realize that, and you too. I wish you the best!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. oh!I missed this beautiful and inspiring post!But it was for a good reason as I was looking for my own dad at the time 😉
    Congratulations not only on your son’s marriage (wish him a happy and fulfilling one) , but also on the work you have been doing with yourself 🙂 . As you say, all of your three sons have come out good people so you did the best you could for you and for them , and all the family deserves congratulations on a job well done.
    Turtle Hugs from a parent of 3 to another 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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