This Moment

It is difficult at times for me to live in this moment.

From wikihow.com article ‘How to Live in the Moment ’ –

Living in the moment is not always easy. Sometimes our thoughts are overwhelmed by regrets about past events or anxiety about the future, which can make it hard to enjoy the present.

This full description is me as a young man many years ago – and today this description is partly me.

Upon my self-defeating doubts about myself as a young child, my attempted suicides and long depression as a young man I had regrets about past events and anxiety about the future and worried about everything.  With my brief psychiatric hospital stay and 13 years of therapy I overcame the anxiety of the future and stopped worrying about, well everything.  Today I can truly say I do not worry about anything.

The doubts of past events are still there in my mind mostly about my kids, but there are other events as well; they continue to haunt my mind.  These doubts still prevent me at times from living in the moment.  I am working on overcoming the past that haunts me and leaving it in the past.  I am accomplishing this through my writing of this blog and the giving of me and my past to you who want to read it.

As Katy Perry sings in her song ‘This Moment’ –

This moment

Tomorrow’s unspoken

Yesterday is history

So why don’t you be here with me

This is what my brain is telling my conscious “Live in this moment and let the past go; it’s history.  Be here with me, your consciousness, your mind, your attention, your thoughts and your awareness for today – for yesterday is history.”

My blog page ‘About Me’ reads ‘The difference is this is my life that I am writing about. Maybe someone else can relate, and with my writings it may help them with their life. Then again with my writings, maybe I am just helping myself.’  This statement I wrote several months ago holds true today, through my writing I am helping myself to move forward and unleash those chains that hold me down because I want to live in the moment – this moment.

14 thoughts on “This Moment

  1. Great post…I too have found that if I write it down and if only I reread it is helping and what a bonus to find all the caring people on here in WP…I love being able to share our journey in life whichever way we are moving forward together and it is a healthy. and therapeutic for me….thanks…I .enjoy your blog…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are not alone. It is difficult for most people to only “live in the moment”. Our past haunts us or follows us around….until we learn to close the door on the bad and only let the good slip through. The future is not written…so to worry about it serves no purpose. Life can change in a mere second. Now, the moment is the only thing we can count on….the only thing we have control over….we have that moment of choice. All we can do “Is our best!” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, we have a lot in common. I’ve been in the “nut” ward, as I call it, too many times. I hope I didn’t offend you. I’ve battled major depression, and suicidal thoughts, alos too many times.
    But God has brought me thru it all, and I’m so happy to be doing well.
    Seems as if you are too, now. I think talking it out really helps.
    Melinda

    Liked by 1 person

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