It is difficult at times for me to live in this moment.
From wikihow.com article ‘How to Live in the Moment ’ –
Living in the moment is not always easy. Sometimes our thoughts are overwhelmed by regrets about past events or anxiety about the future, which can make it hard to enjoy the present.
This full description is me as a young man many years ago – and today this description is partly me.
Upon my self-defeating doubts about myself as a young child, my attempted suicides and long depression as a young man I had regrets about past events and anxiety about the future and worried about everything. With my brief psychiatric hospital stay and 13 years of therapy I overcame the anxiety of the future and stopped worrying about, well everything. Today I can truly say I do not worry about anything.
The doubts of past events are still there in my mind mostly about my kids, but there are other events as well; they continue to haunt my mind. These doubts still prevent me at times from living in the moment. I am working on overcoming the past that haunts me and leaving it in the past. I am accomplishing this through my writing of this blog and the giving of me and my past to you who want to read it.
As Katy Perry sings in her song ‘This Moment’ –
Yesterday is history
So why don’t you be here with me
This is what my brain is telling my conscious “Live in this moment and let the past go; it’s history. Be here with me, your consciousness, your mind, your attention, your thoughts and your awareness for today – for yesterday is history.”
My blog page ‘About Me’ reads ‘The difference is this is my life that I am writing about. Maybe someone else can relate, and with my writings it may help them with their life. Then again with my writings, maybe I am just helping myself.’ This statement I wrote several months ago holds true today, through my writing I am helping myself to move forward and unleash those chains that hold me down because I want to live in the moment – this moment.