55 – still crying

I am a sensitive man, a weak individual, a person with feelings, thoughts, dreams, 55 – still crying.

I cry when I watch a sad movie; I cry when I watch an inspirational movie.

I cry when I watch a news story about someone who unconditionally helps others; I cry when I watch a news story about the killing of innocent people, animals and nature.

I cry at weddings; I cry at funerals.

I cry when my sons do not call; I cry when my sons do call.

I cry when I hurt people; I cry when people hurt me.

I cry when I am a failure; I cry when I am a success.

So why do I cry so much?  I am a man and should not be crying because it is a sign of weakness.

webmd.com has the following –

People with a history of trauma have been found to cry more, Sideroff says. That’s especially true, he says, if they dwell on that past. “If you keep referring back to the past of trauma or emotional pain, it will generate more feelings of hurt.”

Is this why I cry more than others?  I still refer to the emotional pain of years past?  Am I a vulnerable person?

howstuffworks.com has the following information –

Overall, it’s important to remember that crying is a critical part of the human emotional makeup, just as laughing is. While you may not want to cry in front of your boss or an ex-boyfriend who’s with his beautiful new girlfriend, it is largely believed to be better both emotionally and physically to “let it out” rather than keeping it all inside.

My crying comes from my emotional makeup, that part of me; that individual me, that special me that makes me different from everyone else in the world.  It may be my emotional makeup was to a certain degree learned at a young age when I decided I was ‘stupid’, ‘worthless’, ‘different’ and these thoughts created a negative attitude toward myself, others and life.  Is this true?

I am over my self-defeating labeling, but I still cry.

25 thoughts on “55 – still crying

  1. It makes me sad that men still get this message that they are not supposed to cry. Crying is just a thing that happens in response to some feelings, just like laughter. Cutting people off from a means of emotional expression is so damaging.

    Also, that webmd.com quote? About people who dwell on the past? People with trauma often don’t have a choice about that, yo. It’s not “dwelling”—it’s “trying to cope with the crap as best as we can!!!!” It’s not looking at the past that generates the pain. It is the actual past experience that generates the pain.

    But back to you. Cry on, whenever! Crying “too easily” is far better, in my opinion, than being so shut off from your feelings and your connection with the world that you are not affected by them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is nothing wrong with anyone crying….it is the way to healing the soul and refresh the brain. It cleans out your sinuses too….hahaha. It helps us grow, accept and move on. It shows we have a heart and love for all things. I cry easily…..only happened the last 3 years…before I never cried….I felt dead inside…..now it makes me feel……and feeling shows me I am a wonderful loving person inside that cares and that things reach my soul. These are all good things. 🙂 Hugs for you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are not alone. I cry when I hear music that reminds me of my father. I cry with frustration. I cry when I read the beautiful poetry of Pablo Neruda, I cry when I must leave my daughters’ and return home. I cry all the way through the film (or show) Carousel, I cry when watching The Railway Children and Jenny Agutter says ‘Daddy, my daddy’ – there I go again……….
    And we are always the last to leave the cinema, as my partner who is a 54 year old French man cries at almost every film we see ad we have to wait until everyone has left as he is so embarrassed!
    Crying is not weak – it is an expression of your soul – pass me the Kleenex
    P.S. Just caught up with reading your blog after you liked a comment that I made on Lynz’s blog – very heartfelt.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think its wonderful that men can cry….I was raised in a family where men didn’t show there emoitons….then I married into marriages where one man was to uptight to cry…and the other to macho….but my husband I am married to know can get a cry going…we talk about sad things and cry…hell we were just at the vet for the dog and he was in tears because of her…I love it….and love the song….

    Liked by 1 person

      • isn’t it great to the odd man out….nothing like it in the world…I was the baby of the family, but always walked a different path in life than most kids….I never took offense when someone pointed it out….I think I was the most difficult to raise, and not the easiest little girl to get along with…lol oh well…I survived….

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