Nothing Really Matters – until now

As some of you know, part of my early morning ritual is to exercise, usually listening to 70s music.  A couple of weeks ago while exercising a familiar song played.  ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’; you know the song by Queen, it released in 1975.  So I am listening while exercising and listening to the words and a feeling came over me; an understanding of me.  Are these lyrics describing me and my life?  The website has the lyrics and reader’s comments on what they think the lyrics meaning are.

Here is my interpretation of this song and how it relates to me –

First Verse –

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

Open your eyes

Look up to the skies and see

I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Because I’m easy come, easy go

A little high, little low

Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me, to me

This verse is me at a younger age questioning why I am here, my purpose, not understanding my struggles.

Second Verse –

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead

Mama, life had just begun

But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away

Mama, ooo

Didn’t mean to make you cry

If I’m not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

This verse is me attempting suicide and telling my mom ‘I’m sorry’.

Third Verse –

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body’s aching all the time

Goodbye everybody I’ve got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooo (anyway the wind blows)

I don’t want to die

I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all

This verse is me realizing I am reaching out for help and not really wanting to kill myself – but yet wish I did not have to live.

Last Verse –

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Nothing really matters

Anyone can see

Nothing really matters nothing really matters to me

This verse is me telling myself, nothing matters to me, not even myself, not even my life.

The site has the following information pertaining to the context of this song –

Mercury refused to explain his composition other than saying it was about relationships; the band is still protective of the song’s secret.  Brian May supports suggestions that the song contained veiled references to Mercury’s personal traumas. He recalls “Freddie was a very complex person: flippant and funny on the surface, but he concealed insecurities and problems in squaring up his life with his childhood.

And as I exercise listening to this song and the words, I realize everything and everyone matters, including me, including my life.  The severe struggles I encountered in my childhood and as a younger man did matter –

they mattered because they made me who I am today.

8 thoughts on “Nothing Really Matters – until now

  1. you have come a long way! I am hoping as you listen you think about the huge steps you have made. When things come up for me like this song, I realize ok wow I have come a long way! You are wise and pass on so much to others! Yes all of that made you who you are and I am glad you are here with us!! I love this insightful post it is really amazing and gives us all hope!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Spear thought you might like it (if you are one of the “against Robbie” please forgive me and just delete it 😦 )

    that’s from yesterday’s concert in Perth Australia, and I don’t know if is ethical to share it like this but I don’t use Facebook and al …
    Turtle Hugs 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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