I understand the words ‘I love you’

A week ago I published a post ‘We Darn Near Lost Him’ about my dad being in the hospital, weak, very sick and unable to eat.  He was receiving fluids and nutrition through artificial hydration and nutrition and was in isolation.  After 2 weeks in the hospital he was able to start eating some solid food and therefore was released from the hospital this past Thursday.  Thank you for your prayers.

I have spoken with my dad every day since I found out he was in the hospital.  I have spoken with my dad more these past 2 weeks then I have this past year.   I call both my dad and mom every couple of weeks to check in and catchup on our lives.  These past two weeks the conversations with my dad have been brief, and on occasion difficult due to the Parkinson’s disease.  My dad’s ability with talking sometimes makes it extremely difficult to understand what he is saying.  But, at the end of the conversations, I always understand the words he speaks ‘I love you’ and I easily respond the same words back to him.

For years we shook hands and patted each other on the back.  The words ‘I love you’ for the majority of our lives were not spoken to each other; these words were difficult more for dad to speak then me.  For many years I never spoke these words to him; these words are easily spoken to my sons, my sister, my mom and my partner.

The relationship my dad and I have had has not always been easy – many years ago I was angry with him – this was due to me going through my own internal struggles – and to a certain degree blamed my dad.  Many of us as adults with struggles seem to want to blame our parents for some of our life issues.  I overcame my anger and as my dad and I grew older and wiser, we started understanding our relationship and it has grown.

There have been events in my life that I believe my dad has had difficulty understanding and comprehending.  These events and the evolution of me, I am posting weekly here on my blog.  In the next couple of months, these events will be revealed to you.

My dad has not always been there for me when I needed him and this upset me at one time in my life.  We all have struggles in our lives and my dad is no exception.  I may not know all his struggles, but I do know he tried the best he could to be a good dad to me.  Me being older now, I have a better understanding of my dad.

I hope my dad knows when I say ‘I love you’; there is more meaning to these words, then just the words themselves.  These word’s ‘I love you’; are ‘I respect you’, ‘I appreciate you’, ‘Thank you for being my dad’.

9 thoughts on “I understand the words ‘I love you’

  1. It is so good to know your father is recovering.Thank you for letting us know 🙂
    I do so understand you ! I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to spend two whole weeks caring for my dad , and although it was difficult – it is so hard to see our parents in a reversed role , needing us to look after them as if they were the babies – it was so so good that I got to spend this time with him and help and tell him over and over again how much I love him and admire him. It is just not the same over the phone, and I we were able to reconnect to.
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your story about your dad – yes, indeed it is difficult seeing our parents needing help and support in their later years. And important for us to be there for them. Thank you for reading and your comment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your post reminded me of when my mother fell and broke her hip. She was stubbornly independent and it eventually cost her when she pushed herself too far and fell. I saw her more in the few days she was in the hospital than I had the previous year. It was a chance for us to remind each other no matter our physical or even emotional distance from each other we were still there for each other. She passed away last November from cancer – unrelated to her hip injury – but nonetheless it was the injury…and the aftermath…I recall often when thinking of her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I guess it is the way of life, parents and children come back together the older we get, especially during time of need. Thanks for reading and commenting – I appreciate it!

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  3. Glad he is home, and that you are more in their lives my phone calls everyday….in 1983 I lost my father to a sudden heart attach, after the pain of his lost, we have all finished out phone calls with I love you…and lots of hugs when ever we are all around each other…I will never take another loved one for granted again….and my mother developed dementia in her later years and even though I called her everyday, it was not my mother I speaking to…very difficult 7 years….she passes in 2012….I miss them every day…some days more some days less…..glad you were able to be there for your dad…..and glad he’s home getting all the love he deserves…..

    Liked by 1 person

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