The last couple of months have been hectic. It is that time of year with all the holidays and everything that goes along with them. Then there are those trips that are taking place these last few months of the year. Then there is the stress of a possible move next year and all that it entails. And then there are unexpected events taken place that I will post about in the weeks to come. So many things taking place at this time in my life.
In my post ‘So much to do…‘I wrote about the activities that are taking place these last couple of months of this year. With all these activities come some stress and I do not usually handle stress well and I realize I place much stress on myself. I am becoming better, but need more practice to handle stress in a healthier way.
With the stress comes my impatience, followed by my complaining and short temper. These are not good traits and I do try to restrain them to myself and not let them be exposed to others. Not always easy, but I do try.
These traits have been with me from a young boy to a young man to a middle age man. They have softened some, but still remain in my brain waiting for my consciousness to become weak so they may expose themselves once again. You can read more about a few of these traits in my posts ‘Impulsivity‘ and ‘Emotional Difficulties‘.
wrote a comment and I responded with the following –
I have not been in therapy for many, many years, but I think I also am borderline personality.
After I wrote this comment, I decided to do some online research on Borderline Personality Disorder, and after reading several websites, “Yes, this is me.” I do not recall ever receiving this diagnosis during my therapy years and I found that Borderline Personality Disorder was not an official diagnosable disorder until 1980. The late 80s and the 90s are the years I received therapy that was really geared more for my depression, what was causing it and how to get through it. There were never underlining disorders that were treated, but me knowing me and hindsight being 20/20 indicates I most likely had an underlining issue.
So, I decided to diagnosis myself and believe this is just one of many reasons for the person I am today.
I will continue to research Borderline Personality Disorder and see what I can personally put into place to help me with this. I am not one to want to take medications, for me I make the most effort possible to make myself the best person I can be. This is my preference for me to take care of me.
Will see what the future holds in my research about Borderline Personality Disorder and what I can do to help myself in becoming a better person.