Smoking Past – Smoking Present

Sometimes I will write a post and not finish it for different reasons.  I started this post last year and I do not remember why I did not finish it – but decided now was a good time.

The following words were written on May 17, 2015 –

On social media, I recently read about a person’s encounter with people who smoke.  This person observed a smoker who had no teeth, was coughing and had a ‘smoker’s voice’.  This person wrote that is was clear to them that this was cancer waiting to happen.

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Image Provided by: http://www.telegraph.co.uk

I remember a time when employees could smoke at their job in their cubicles.  Many changes have occurred referring to smoking and smokers.  I understand that smoking is bad and can cause illness and death.  I understand smoking affects those people that do not smoke.  I understand the laws that prevent smoking in public buildings and certain areas within a city.  What I do not understand is why those that do not smoke think they can diagnose cancer.  Why is this?

Ok, I get it – I am ranting some because as a smoker I do get a little irritated that nonsmokers seem to know more than I about the outcomes of smoking.  I am a courteous smoker; I do not smoke in my own home, when somewhere else I go hide to smoke as to not bother anyone else and I do not like the smell of smoke – I hate the smell of smoke in clothes, in rooms, etc.

My point is I know smoking kills and I choose to smoke.  I know smoking can kill others and I choose not to smoke around them.  I know smoking can shorten my life span and I am ok with that.

The following words I am writing today –

I have smoked off and on since I was 15 years old – 40 years now! I have quit smoking on several occasions cold turkey with the longest non-smoking period of 4 years.  Why do I quit then to go back to start again?

In my post ‘Addictions or Habits or Routines‘, I concluded with the following –

My point to this post is I have a habit of being drawn to addictions and routinely have quit addictions and started the same addictions again time after time.  So are addictions an issue or is it the routinely stopping and starting the habits of addictions the issue, or is it the habits that cause the routines of addictions the issue?

On my recent visit to my urologist Dr. F., he told me I needed to quit smoking.  He said the tumor on my bladder will have to be surgically removed, and continuing to smoke, the next time the whole bladder may need to be removed.

Today I am still smoking, and tomorrow I will smoke, but the next day is the day I will once again quit – hopefully for the last time.

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Image Provided by: health.clevelandclinic.org

51 thoughts on “Smoking Past – Smoking Present

  1. Good luck spearfruit! If you did it once you can do it again! I’m not a smoker, but I have loved ones who are. I have mixed feelings about it. I’m thankful not to bring my babies into restaurants filled with smoke. At the same time I never thought it was fair to eliminate all of the choices for smokers. Of course then places would probably get lawsuits from employees who didn’t have other options…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do not have any issues with the laws that prevent smokers from smoking in public places – I respect other’s rights to not be exposed to it. Smoking is a difficult subject both for smokers and non-smokers. Thanks Sadie, I appreciate you reading and commenting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My friend I hope you find the strength to quit. NOt only for yourselfm but for your family. I don’t smoke, nut smokers never bothered me. As long as you don’t blow smoke my way, why should it bother me. Whatever happened to live and let live???

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I started smoking at the ripe ole’ age of 11 – UGH! butts from the lady I babysat for – EWH! Smoked till I got pregnant – like a chimney – 2 packs a day – at my desk at work and everywhere. Hard to quit, but wouldn’t want to be a smoker today – too many restrictions. Good luck! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is hard to quit, but I have done so before quite successfully for years at a time. I will find my strength and do it again. I hope I do not regret writing this, because now you got to hold me to it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I, too was a smoker. On and off for years. I had lots and lots of triggers and it was only when I understood them all that I was finally able to stop. I use the word advisedly because I think I will always be addicted so I can’t actually give up. Give up that occasional evil little voice in my ear that says ‘go on – just have one ….’ but I did stop. And so far I haven’t started again. It’s been too long to still be counting. I wish you success. Life is better on the other side …. healthier and a bit wealthier too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I understand that evil little voice, he is chatting with me now. But I am preparing myself to challenge him once again and once again be successful at beating him down. I am all ready stressed about stopping. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s so understandable. It’s a huge adjustment in habit quite apart from the addiction itself. I just kept myself occupied, chewed on anything I could lay my hands on from celery and carrots to gum (nicotine or not) and fiddled incessantly with things. When the craving welled up, I tried to immediately change where I was (move to another room, go outside for a walk etc etc) – in the end I do believe it was bluddy mindedness that got me through it. Keep reaching out for support and try and find others in the blogging world going through it too … do a search in your reader for smoking tags. And if you slip don’t see it as a failure. Just start all over again. Honestly. That was a crucial part of it for me. When I stopped thinking that a knock-back was the end of the road.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. “What I do not understand is why those that do not smoke think they can diagnose cancer. Why is this?” IMHO? Because they are self-absorbed idiots who spew words and do not put any thought behind them. Next time you encounter one of these sorts, ask them how they know. I bet they shut up or get angry that you called them on being an asshat. I’m a non-smoker who is allergic (mildly) to cigarette/cigar/pipe smoke. My eyes water and itch, my throat swells and I sneeze and cough. I get laryngitis (not always a bad thing). And to the idiot who is smoking where they ought not to be (such as the entrance to my doctor’s office or the hospital or something), they may get such a remark sans the whole cancer bit. I don’t know if they’ll contract cancer. I usually remark upon their stunning inability to READ and wonder aloud if the smoking contributed to them becoming dumber as time went along… My husband smoked. He was a cigarette smoker for a great deal of his life, but kicked the habit when his penny pinching soul began to grouse about the cost. For him it was monetary. He never completely gave up SMOKING though … he was addicted to mother nature’s green if you get my meaning. I used to find it ironic that he would throw the cancer remark at some other cigarette smoker, as if his being able to quit successfully gave him some kind of entitlement. He really was quite mean to smokers.

    My hope for you is that you do quit. Permanently. There are those in your life who would mourn your passing prematurely. This bladder business may be the wake up call you need to see the danger in your addiction. We’d miss you if you were gone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Some ex-smokers are the worst when it come to criticizing smokers. And I understand your feelings about smoking at the entrances of builders and non-smokers having to walk through the ‘cloud’. But when I hear a comment about cancer waiting to happen, I think that is insensitive because smoking is an addiction, that is difficult to quit. Thanks for the honest comment – always appreciated. 🙂

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  6. I used to smoke. Either under stress (when I was going through a divorce) or socially with a drink when I was younger. One day, I just quit because I didn’t like the smell. In addition, cigs were getting expensive and I would rather spend the money on shoes. I know for some quitting the smokes is a hard, hard thing to do. Maybe you can start by cutting down and have a cig after dinner–you know, stop gradually. However, if you decide to not quit–I still respect your decision. I don’t like to preach!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine, I wish I could cut down – but that is not the way it works me. I have to be a fulltime smoker or a non-smoker, for me its one way or the other. And certainly the non-smoker me is better in the long run. Thanks for reading and commenting – I hope your Monday is going well for you. 🙂

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  7. You need to quit and I hope you will find your strength to do so
    I am a hardcore anti-smoker (blame it to my dad who is chain smoker since he was 15 :|) and quite frankly I don’t understand what people find fascinating about a cigarette.
    It breaks my heart when I see someone has turned into a slave to a cigarette and can’t quit no matter what

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think it is a matter of being fascinating in that it just becomes addicting. I know smoking is bad for me, but I continue to do it – I have no explanation – I just do it – it is like I need it. In reality I do not need it, that is the addiction talking. Thanks for your honest comment, I truly appreciate it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m trying as well, cutting down. I’ll try and come off them too, we can have a post that when the raging nicotine monster takes hold we have somewhere to go and rant and swear, that ultimately better than me ripping someone’s head off right? 🙂 *smiles sweetly*

    Liked by 1 person

    • That raging nicotine monster can be horrible – and yes I agree, ranting and swearing is much better than ripping someone’s head off. I can relate to where you are coming from – last day, tomorrow is a start of a smoke free me! 🙂

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  9. Congratulations on your decision Spear 🙂 I wish you strength to do it , but I see from what you have written and your response to comments that you’re going into it with determination and your eyes open (because you have been there before) and that will be one of your best “weapons” . Enroll all the help you can because as you know nicotine is highly addictive and our bodies have all these tricks to get us to do things we don’t really want to 😉 Wishing you success for your health
    Turtle Hugs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I smoked for a very, very, long time my friend. It was probably about 40 years. The thing about giving up cigarettes is that you are giving your best friend, isn’t it? The cigarette is there when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are nervous, when you have a hard task to accomplish. The act of smoking gives you time to transition from one activity to another. Smoking fills a very important psychological portion of your life that is extremely difficult to replace. BUT after a long period of discomfort and mourning the death of your best friend cigarette, you will have come up with other ways to fill his/her function in your life. It won’t be easy. But it will be easier than living your life without your bladder. And one day you will wake up and you won’t miss your best friend cigarette but if you lose your bladder…..you will always miss it.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Spear, my mother was a heavy smoker all her life and passed away from it a little over a year ago. I made several attempts asking her to stop but unless someone wants to do it on their own I know first-hand no one else can do it for them. The willpower to end has to come from within. You can do this if you want to!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Bruce, so sorry if this post brought back some sad memories for you. I do agree, the quitting must come from within, and at times it can be very difficult. I am determined to try again with all I got. Appreciate your comments as always.

      Liked by 1 person

      • On the contrary Spear it gave me the opportunity to show you that you have someone else supporting you in your desire to end this choice, habit, addiction – matters not what we call it, huh? I never said to her it would be easy to do…she just didn’t want to, even with my willingness to help. I respected her right to chart her own course and feel better for it as odd as that may sound.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Smoking like any other addiction is such a nasty little monkey to shake….I am an eater and struggle on most days to keep it in check as it is my go to for stress….I understand what your going through even though we have different addictions, addiction is addiction no matter what your vice it….keep at it….hope your feeling better….kat

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Kat for your honest words, yes addiction is addiction and it is difficult to control sometimes. And today being my first day to quit again, I have the voices in my head going back and forth about smoking. It is difficult at times, but I am keeping my mind on other things. Thanks for your comment, always appreciated! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Good luck on the quitting. I stopped smoking after 16 years, when I came to the conclusion I could no longer justify the cost, a packet of 20 was costing around £7 ($10) and it has only gone up since. I wish they would stop harping on about the health implications and focus on the cost I think that would get a lot more people to quit.

    On a side note, did you know that since they banned smoking on airplanes, the air is now unhealthier than when people smoked, because they recycle the air, where as in smoking times it was fres

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