Family – what can I write that has not been written already about this subject?
merriam-webster.com has this simple definition –
A group of people who are related to each other
A person’s children
A group of related people including people who lived in the past
Their full definition of family is much more than I want to put into this post. If you are interested you can see it here: family
All families are different, different backgrounds, different upbringings, different values and different differences. I appreciate my family’s background, my family’s upbringing, my family’s values and my family’s differences. I spent this past Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in many years. You can read more about this in my post ‘This year will be different‘. It was a nice visit, but honestly after a couple of days I am always ready to go home, my home, where I am comfortable. You see, even though I love my family and spend time with my family, I am not always comfortable being around my family. They all are great people, with great lives, but I am the one that has the different life.
This different life is accepted and I am always welcome – but I am usually unable to be the total ‘me’ to my family.
I always felt like the ‘black sheep’ of the family, the ‘outcast’, the ‘different one’. Many of you know I dealt with major depression for many years starting when I was a young adult. This depression was created by me at a young age because of low self-esteem, feeling worthless and honestly I felt like I was a mistake. As a young boy I had placed a thought in my head; this thought was I was a mistake because I am a twin. I felt like my parents were only expecting to have one child when my mom was pregnant and since there were two of us and I was the second one born – I was a mistake.
I was a mistake; therefore I was the ‘black sheep’, the ‘outcast’, the ‘different one’.
As I grew and dealt with struggles of my mind, I overcame my major depression and through the process discovered me, the true me.
I realized I am not the ‘black sheep’, the ‘outcast’, the ‘different one’ – I am ‘me’.
I accept my family’s background, my family’s upbringing, my family’s values and my family’s differences.
I know my family loves me for ‘me’ – but I am usually unable to be the total ‘me’ to my family. They are my biological family, and I love them very much. But I have other family as well – where I can be the total ‘me’.