Monthly Archives: February 2016

Why Move Now

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In my post ‘Blog Site, Posts & Life Transitions‘, I wrote the following –

My partner and I are retired and looking to move forward which includes a physical move from our current location. This idea of a move is not new and has always been in our future plans; the future came several years earlier than we expected which resulted in us living in limbo for some time now.

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We have in the past years visited other countries and other states within the US to investigate and seek out that next location for us.  With many variables in play we may have ruled some locations as a ‘no-go’ and others as a possibility.  The next 6 months several additional trips will take place in hopes for finding the location for us.  The next location will take us into the next chapter of our lives, one that will be different from the current chapter.  We are looking forward to moving on to this next chapter in our lives.

Today’s post, I write the following –

As some of you know, the new location was found and activities are taking place to downsize and prepare for the upcoming selling of the current home and moving to the new location.  In the past month this current home appears bigger; some furniture has been sold, pictures were removed from the walls ready to be packed and some decluttering has taken place.  Then there are closets that actually have nothing in them for the first time in years.  Where did all the stuff go?  There were those garage sales last year – you can read about those in these posts ‘Gremlins and their ‘stuff’‘, ‘Selling Gremlin’s Stuff’, and ‘The Christmas Stuff Garage Sale’.

More items are gathered and ready for the next garage sale taking place in a couple of weeks.  There is also some maintenance taking place.  Some closets are brighter due to being repainted, some other minor home repairs are taken place and with the warmer weather right around the corner; soon the outside gardens will be bright again with colorful flowers.  In 3 weeks, our realtor will be visiting us for paperwork signing and the discussing of preparations for the big day when the home goes on the market.

My husband and I are very ready to move on – we have been in a rut for some time now and this change is needed for both of us.

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There are a few decisions to be made concerning the next living situation, but the location is finalized and so our excitement grows every day as we get closer to the list date of our current home.

In our next location, we look forward to exploring more and to be excited about life once again.  We are ready to leave this current chapter and start the new one.  We would like to travel more, meet new friends, and become healthier and just live life again.

Why Move Now – living life is waiting for us!

 

November 1970 – Wild World by Cat Stevens

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November 1970 – a song popular in this month – Wild World by Cat Stevens

Stevens wrote this about searching for peace and happiness in a crazy world.

Interesting facts about Wild World & Cat Stevens –

This was Stevens’ first song to chart in the US.

His birth name is Steven Demetre Georgiou. He became a Muslim and changed his name to Yusuf Islam in 1977 after his brother gave him a copy of the Koran. The name comes from the prophet Joseph.  Yusuf Islam explained to Uncut magazine regarding his Cat Stevens stage name: “My girlfriend at that time, Christine, said to me one day ‘You look so much like a cat.’ That kind of stuck. At the same time there were films around like What’s New Pussycat? and Cat Ballou.”

“So, yeah, it just stuck and then I just kept my first name, Steven and tagged Cat on to it.”

Maxi Priest recorded this in 1988. His version hit #5 in the UK.

This was released as a single only in the US. Stevens’ European label, Island Records, wanted to encourage people to buy the albums rather than the 45s.

This information was provided by Songfacts.com

Hot Weather w/no Clothes

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I like summer – what season do you like?

I currently live in the southern United States and soon will be moving to another state in the southern United States.

As you may know, my husband and I are planning a move this year to another location to start the next chapter in our lives.  In the near future I will reveal to you where I am currently living and where I am moving to.  I like warm weather, no let me rephrase that; I love hot weather.  I am not a cold weather person, and for you folks that live in a colder climate in the winter, I praise you – I would not be able to do it.  For me, the hotter the better; 100+ temperatures I can deal with!

My current location temperature from November – March averages 45 to 68 degrees.  The next location temperature from November – March averages 52 – 72 degrees.  Yes, I realize there is not much difference in these averages, but the current location receives more ‘cold fronts’ than the next location.

Okay, let me do some whining here.  When the temperatures fall in the 40s, my feet get cold.  I do not like cold feet.  Yes, I could wear 2 pairs of socks, which I have – but I do not want to.  You see I am that person who likes to wear the least amount of clothes as possible.  I really do not like to wear clothes; less is better for me.  When it is hot, I can strip the clothes off, but when it is cold, I dislike putting more clothes on.

As I started writing the post about liking warm weather and then moving on to clothes it got me thinking about the evolution of clothes.  You are welcome to read an interesting article from the todayifoundout.com website titled ‘When People Started Wearing Clothes’.

Another interesting article titled ‘Why Do People Wear Clothes’ from whyguides.com includes the following reasons we wear clothes –

To Cover Parts of Our Body (Yes, I understand the reason for wanting to cover parts of our bodies, but then again some clothing people wear today does not leave much for the imagination)

To Appear Beautiful (Yes, I understand the reason for wanting to look beautiful, but this is the least important thing I am concerned about)

To Make Identification Easier (Yes, I understand the reason for identification; police officers, firemen, doctors – this is all good)

For Protection (Yes, I understand the reason for protection from the cold, then again I hate cold, so this reason is unimportant to me, I want warm weather)

For Special Days and Events (Yes, I understand the reason for special days & events, but I usually do not ‘dress up’ for these occasions – that’s me – sorry folks)

I like summer – what season do you like?

Love Emails

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Love is in the air –

In my post ‘The Hit – The Last Chapter‘, I ended with the following –

In my eyes he is a hit to me, the greatest person to come into my life and this is the last chapter of many in this life I have lived.  Whether this last chapter is short or long, I am fortunate to be sharing it with the love of my life.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Like school kids passing love notes in class, the emails were filled with words of excitement, joy and happiness of the new person that had entered into their lives.  Is it difficult for you to understand that yes, two men can love one another, can bring happiness and joy to one another and continue lives together as a couple as a unit and as a family.

The emails early in the relationship described the beginning stage – the attraction stage – the honeymoon stage.  How could two men in their 40s act like school kids just figuring out what love is?  Why would this happen later in their lives, to start a new relationship that in its self was new and refreshing.

The emails early in the relationship described the excitement of meeting someone new, someone they have been waiting for, someone they unexpectedly found, someone who unexpectedly found them.  Can it be two men can find each other later in their lives to share their lives forever until the end?

The emails early in the relationship described this to be the truth, yes love was found and love was in the air for these two men who were not necessarily looking for it, but it found them.  But would anyone else understand this relationship these two men share?

The emails early in the relationship described the feelings that were deepening with each passing day and like the school kids passing love notes in class, the love emails were full of emotions and feelings expressed by these two men, that were once alone and living their separate lives.

The emails early in the relationship described the happiness of 5 months, and could it be these two men would move forward to the next step?  How could this be, that two men would come together later in their lives and continue to move forward?  How can anyone understand the importance of this relationship?

Like school kids passing love notes in class, the emails were filled with words of excitement, joy and happiness of the new person that had entered into their lives.  Is it difficult for you to understand that yes, two men can love one another, can bring happiness and joy to one another and continue lives together as a couple as a unit and as a family.

Love is in the air –

suicide – it sounds peaceful, it sounds calm

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In my post ‘It was time to end my life’, I wrote the following –

I was scared and most likely was attempting suicide as a cry for help and not really wanting to end it all.  Some people say those that attempt or commit suicide are cowards and want an easy way out.  But when you feel out of control and thoughts of hurting others are in your mind and there seems no end to suffering and pain and people are telling you they do not understand you or you need help but they are not helping or supporting you and your weakness prevails – how do you keep going?

In today’s post, I write the following –

Recently I recording my voice early morning and these are the words I spoke –

Suicide, do I still think about it? Yes – almost on a daily basis!  Why do I not want to live?  Why am I living?  I am living for other people; my kids – why I don’t’ know; my husband – why I don’t know.  Will they all be better without me in their lives – without me being here?  Maybe I live because someday I will be happy, really truly happy – but then again I don’t think I will be ever.  The struggles that I still deal with though they are much milder and calmer than when I was a young man in my twenties, they are still in my mind; they are still a constant reminder everyday – here with me experiencing the turmoil that goes on in my mind.  It is difficult for me; it’s tiring, I’m fatigued from fighting everything that goes on in my mind.

Can I go get on some medication?  Yes, I could and that would probably help – but then I feel like I lose the fight.  I feel like that I am just existing and not becoming; becoming better; becoming stronger – but just existing and accepting.  To me that’s not, that’s not good enough.  I have to fight I have to struggle, I have to keep moving forward; I have to keep going with the flow and working on myself and becoming a better person.  That’s maybe what my life is about – I don’t’ know.  Is it exhausting and tiring?  Yes, it is and when I get that way that’s when I think about suicide; that’s when I think about death, that’s when I think about not being here – not existing, not breathing; but just being gone from this world, from this body, from this mind and being non-existent.

It sounds peaceful, it sounds calm, it sounds internal; it sounds like something that’s good to me, something that I want.  But as long as I am still here I am not going to commit suicide – I will not do it.  And though my mind tells me it is an option, there is that conscience part of me that says no, it is not an option.  And I struggle with this still; but it will not ever happen and I will keep fighting the good fight and I will keep continuing to move forward.  And I will keep struggling even though the process may hurt other people I will keep doing it; keep trying.  But it is exhausting sometimes, it’s very exhausting and I lose control and sometimes I just don’t know what to do anymore.

But I keep trying.

 

HS Memories – top entertainment

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In my post ‘HS Senior Year Memories’, I wrote the following –

Part of the downsizing taking place is opening boxes in our upstairs storage and going through possessions of long ago.  Some of these possessions I have not viewed in many, many years.  Some items will need to be discarded, as they hold no value as a keepsake.  Other items will be kept a little longer until another day arrives that I will need to find a home for them, whether that be giving to my sons or the trash.  I realize it is difficult to just throw items and memories of long ago away, but not everything can be kept forever.

One item I came across was a book titled ‘memories’, I received specially for my high school senior year to record ideas, impressions, opinions, thoughts and comments.  This book includes personal data; including my senior picture, high school data, senior class data, class schedule, faculty information, clubs – activities – organizations; you get the idea.

I graduated high school in 1979 at the age of 19.  I married my high school sweetheart at age 18, therefore I was married my senior year of high school.

In today’s post I write the following –

One of the pages in this ‘memories’ book is titled ‘top entertainment’; I thought I would share with you some top entertainment back in 1979.

Top singers –

Donna Summer: She was popular during this time – remember disco was taking place in the late 1970s

Barry Manilow: I like Barry and his music

Rita Coolidge: Do you remember this singer

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Top songs –

Last Dance & Heaven Knows: Donna Summer sung these

Your Love is Lifting Me Higher: A song by Rita Coolidge

Hopelessly Devoted to You: Who can forget this song by Olivia Newton John

Top performers who had concerts in my area –

Rita Coolidge and Chris Christopherson: Yes they performed together; Chris is not one of my favorite singers

Doobie Brothers: ‘What A Fool Believes’ was popular in 1979

England Dan and John Ford Coley: ‘Love is the Answer’ a popular song in the 70s

Charlie Pride: ‘Help Me Make it Through the Night’ was a popular song

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Top movies –

Grease: did you see the live version several weeks ago on network television – I thought it was good

Saturday Night Fever: Classic

Ice Castles:  This movie will make you cry

Towering Inferno: This was a good movie for its time

Other Side of the Mountain: This movie was released in 1975

Thank God it’s Friday: A movie related to disco

Chicken Chronicles: This movie starred Steve Guttenberg

Foul Play: Who can forget Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn – I miss those 2 together

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Top TV programs –

Real People: Reality TV program in the 1970s, yes reality TV was around back then

Vegas: This starred Robert Urich, who remembers him

Charlie’s Angels: Everyone knows this TV program

The Incredible Hulk: The program starred Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno

Fantasy Island: “Da plane! Da plane!”

Love Boat: I miss captain Stubing, doctor Briker, the bartender Isaac, Gopher, Julie and Vicki

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Interesting how times change regarding top entertainment.

In the future I will post about fads & fashions, events of the years, and a few other odds & ends.

 

 

 

 

to expose me – my face

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I wrote in my post ‘to expose me‘, the following –

Now over 8 months later I have realized fellow bloggers are supportive of me and have welcomed me with open arms and appreciate my writings.  Because of this I decided to expose myself, my identity, to you my fellow bloggers.  But a course I am not doing it all in one post, I still have 3 months to write a post a day.

So I will write a series of posts to expose me – my identify to you and the blogger world.

In today’s post I write the following –

I understand I can repost an old post, but I am not doing that instead I am copying a post into this one; hopefully WP does not mind that.  The 69th post I wrote for my blog was titled ‘Engraved Lines and Crevices’, and because I had very few followers at that time, it received little exposer.  As part of my ‘to expose me’ series, I wanted to copy that post here –

When I was in my 20’s I never imagined having wrinkles at age 55.  My older siblings do not have the amount of defined wrinkles I have which are most likely due to my years of habits (post: Addictions or Habits or Routines). I have never considered a face lift and never used any types of creams to help relieve the engraved lines and crevices on my face.

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The creams probably would be helpful; my partner uses them and he looks younger than me.  The medicalnewstoday.com website has the following about wrinkles: most commonly appear with age with the facial wrinkles appearing first.  The facial wrinkles tend to occur as a result of facial expressions, sun damage, smoking, among other factors. 

See, I knew it – they are a result of my smoking and sun damage, but facial expressions?  I guess that makes sense especially for me, my facial expressions usually include squinting and frowning.  I squint because I should wear my glasses all the time and I do not; they are for distance, when driving and watching TV.

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Lately I have found I am squinting more while reading smaller print and the difficultly seeing distant objects are not so distant anymore, signaling my eyesight is progressively getting worst.  Ugh, I guess it is time for the eye doctor visit; it has been awhile since the last checkup.  The frowning I blame on years of bad moods and gravity, see my post ‘Smile Workout’.

After additional research I did find on the livingwellmag.com website the following –

Wrinkles are cute on Shar-Pei puppies, but aren’t nearly as attractive on your face. Society has labeled wrinkles as a sign of age, stress, and even as “wisdom”.  Some wrinkles occur from volume loss, sun damage, tobacco use, and others from repetitive movements, like smile lines.  Wrinkles can visually age you or send out misconceptions about your personality before you even speak.

At this point in my life I have no issues with the wrinkles on my face, they display who I am and for me what matters most is in the inside.  And though others may feel my wrinkles may send out misconceptions about me; the inside is more important than what is displayed on the outside of a person.

 

Time Will Tell

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In my post ‘how I feel and if I can pee‘, I wrote the following –

Dr. F. also found a small matter that is partially blocking my ureter that connects to my right kidney.  I have for months experienced some lower right discomfort on my back and it is most likely due to my kidney not properly draining my urine to my bladder.

Dr. F. believes this small matter is most likely some scar tissue from the tumor because it’s location was near the ureter opening.  In a couple of weeks I will visit a radiologist to determine what will need to take place to correct this issue.

In today’s post, I write the following –

My radiologist appointment will take place this Thursday.  urologyhealth.org has the following information –

The IVP is an x-ray test in which a contrast agent (also termed “x-ray dye”) is injected into a patient’s vein; the contrast agent acts to outline the patient’s kidneys, ureters, and bladder when x-rays are subsequently taken.

Based on the results of this test, Dr. F. will decide whether a ureteral stent may be required. If he indicates this is recommended, than another surgery would be required.  Honestly I am not looking forward to another surgery.

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Time Will Tell

13 days ago a tumor was removed from my bladder.  Honestly, I recovered better and faster than I thought I would prior to the surgery.  Prior to the surgery, I allowed my emotions and thinking to get the best of me and I will not lie, I was scared.  The surgery was the easy part – I do not remember anything about it.  The first week of recovery was not so easy, but I managed and got through it.

In about 3 weeks I will start my Intravesical therapy that will last for 6 weeks.  Per cancer.org –

With intravesical therapy, the doctor puts a liquid drug directly into the bladder (through a catheter) rather than giving it by mouth or injecting it into a vein. This could be either immunotherapy, which causes the body’s own immune system to attack the cancer cells, or chemotherapy.

Medicines given this way mainly affect the cells lining the inside of the bladder, with little to no effect on cells elsewhere. This means that any cancer cells outside of the bladder lining, including those that have grown deeply into the bladder wall, are not treated. Drugs put into the bladder also can’t reach cancer cells in the kidneys, ureters, and urethra, or those that have spread to other organs.

For this reason, intravesical therapy is used only for non-invasive (stage 0) or minimally invasive (stage I) bladder cancers.

I keep reminding myself this is temporary and it will come and go and life will continue.  This treatment at this point in time will not prevent the future move to take place – but it might push back the date a little bit as to when to place the house on the market for sale.

Time Will Tell.

November 1970 – My Sweet Lord by George Harrison

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November 1970 – a song popular in this month – My Sweet Lord by George Harrison

This was Harrison’s first single as a solo artist, and it was his biggest hit. The song is about the Eastern religions he was studying.

Interesting facts about My Sweet Lord & George Harrison –

Highly unusual for a hit song, Harrison repeats part of a Hindu mantra in the lyric when he sings, “Hare Krishna… Krishna, Krishna.” When set to music, this mantra is typically part of a chant, that acts as a call to the Lord.

In 1976, Bright Tunes Music sued Harrison because this sounded too much like the 1963 Chiffons hit “He’s So Fine.”

This was recorded at Abbey Road studios using the same equipment The Beatles used.

This was the first #1 hit for any Beatle after the band broke up. Harrison was the first Beatle to release a solo album. He came out with Wonderwall Music, a soundtrack to the movie Wonderwall, in 1968.

U2 performed this as a tribute at their show in Atlanta on November 30, 2001, the night after Harrison died.

This information was provided by Songfacts.com

Adventure at the old theater

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I have a memory of many years ago when I was in my pre-teens and working for my dad in his fast food restaurant.  If I worked into the late night, one of my dad’s employees would drive me home.  Unknown to my parents, at times these employees would get into some mischief while I was in their presence.  One of these events was going into an old abandoned theater.  I don’t want to say we broke into the theater, because I have a faint memory of the back stage door being opened – but that was many years ago – so maybe we did break in.

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That theater still stands today in the city I grew up in and is the home for the city’s community theatre group yearly production of a melodrama.  That theater was built in the late 1920s and was used for movies and vaudeville.  I remember seeing movies there as a young child and felt a little haunted when I was in that theater.  You see the architecture was Egyptian style and included Assyrian bulls, stenciled lotus flower lamps, winged suns and scarabs even extended tombstones and funereal monuments.  As a young child, this was scary!

Back to my memory and visiting this theater.  At the time the theater was abandoned and not being used.  I remember entering the stage door in the back of the theater and walking on the stage.  The large white movie screen was torn and the heavy velvet curtains were drawn back to disclose the rows of seating and the 2 tier balcony.  The theater was trashed with debris with some chairs missing and the place in disarray.  The architecture details were still in place, those Assyrian bulls, the winged suns and scarabs and the tombstones and funereal monuments – still intact and still haunting.

With the follow employees I remember walking off the stage through the theater auditorium passing the rows of chairs and making our way to the balcony room where the movie projectors were located.  There was a dim light just enough to find our way.  As we entered the movie projector room and looked out the small opening in the wall to view the stage, there was a feeling that came over me.  I was motionless, what was I doing?

But wait, what was that noise?  There is someone or something here in this building with us, what should we do?

Well a course I, always being scared of the place to begin with – ran!

I made my way back down to the auditorium and through the rows of seats back up to the stage and out the back stage door – just in the nick of time!

That’s all I remember, was this true, a dream or a figment of my imagination or a real memory?

I like to think it was true – an adventure I had as a child.  Kind of like an ‘Indiana Jones’ type of adventure.