What do I want to leave when I am gone?

In the past 11 ½ months I have written posts about life, death and legacy; you can view these posts under the category ‘Attitudes, Feelings and Views’.

What do I want to leave when I am gone?  When my last breath is taken and my eyes see for one last time, what do I want to leave behind in the minds of people that know me?

I ask again, what do I want to leave when I am gone?

Originally it was a book; a book about me and my life.  Would anyone read it and would anyone really care?

Then it was a blog about me and my life.  Would anyone read it and would anyone really care?

When I started this blog almost a year ago my intention was to let my sons, the rest of the family and any friends to have access to it.  Will I do this?  I have not totally decided when I will provide this blog to my sons and my family.  I am unsure if I am ready to let them have access to it.  It is not finished, it is uncompleted and a work in progress.  How long I continue this blog remains to be seen, but the book I wanted to write, it could still take place because the writings are here on my blog.

What do I want to leave when I am gone?  When my last heart beat takes place and my nostrils take in the last oxygen, what do I want to leave behind here on earth?

Does it really matter that I leave anything at all?  I often think about my grandmother who died several years ago, she resonates within me.  She was a great woman who in her doings and her ways unknowingly became a teacher to me.  I have a few pictures of her and a few knick-knacks of hers and I have her bible.  But more importantly I have her memory and the things she taught me.  She never wrote a book, never had a blog, but instead lived a life as a wonderful person; a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, a great-great-grandmother, but more importantly a teacher.

My life is very different from my grandmothers; it has taken a very different road – but I can strive to be like her; me as a wonderful person, a father, a grandfather and maybe a great-great grandfather, and maybe even a teacher.

Times have changed; they are very different than when my grandmother was alive and I lived near her.  Today my sons are further away and I am here, the locations are different and the lives are different.

What do I want to leave when I am gone?  What do I want to leave them when I am gone?

Maybe this blog and maybe someday that book will be available to them to read and maybe, just maybe they will learn something from me.

51 thoughts on “What do I want to leave when I am gone?

  1. I was just working on a post about leaving “my self and my memories” behind. We must have been on the same wavelength. Leaving a blog or a book would be a wonderful legacy but….only if they read it. Here’s hoping you do…and they do. 🙂

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    • Thanks Laurel, I appreciate the comment. I have some days that I feel it is not important, and than others I do. One day I will let them know about this blog, and leave it up to them to read or not. Hope you are having a happy day! 🙂

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      • I know my children know about my blog but they will never read it. They will take it as “dad bashing.” They can’t bear to hear or certainly read anything negative about Loser (even they know what he is and what he did to me…and often call him a “piece of shit.”) He is pretending to “care” suddenly and since they never had his attention of affection, they are clamoring for it. Sigh.

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        • I understand, we have our own reasons for blogging and I think no matter the reason, it is good for us. And it is up to our kids or whoever if they want to read what we have written. Our blogs are us and the way we see things – that is important! 🙂

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  2. When I remember my loved ones, it’s how they lived their lives that means the most to me. However, I was glad to read written documents such as the love letters between my Grandparents and the emails on my Husband’s computer that described his feelings as he approached death. These writings expanded my understanding and appreciation of them.

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    • Thank you Lori for your comment and I feel as we get older we find some comfort in reading what our family had to say at a moment in their life. I hope one day my sons will take the opportunity to read and learn about me and my life – I think someday they will. Appreciate you stopping by to read today! 🙂

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  3. awh! I was waiting for this lovely grandma post – and it is beautiful – and you are – and you are going to leave a wonderful legacy behind to more people than you will ever know. Simply be at peace with that and keep being YOU! 🙂

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  4. When my girls came along (1, 2, 3 4 over 8 years) I wanted them to have a relationship with their grandies because I had been so close to my maternal grandmother and I know that if she had lasted longer my paternal grandmother (who I am told I am very like would have been more precious. I regret https://osyth.wordpress.com/2016/02/09/the-soft-look-your-eyes-once-had/ but I can make ammends by being the best me I can. You live that ideal.

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  5. I share the same thoughts as you do about what to leave to my children and grand children. Life went on so fast raising four children more or less alone. So much has never been told as I wish I could have told them about my life. So I enjoy writing and hope that they one day will find something about my life that they want to know. But writing also helps me to express things to them when we are together occasionally or talk on the phone

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    • I am thankful you and I are writing and expressing in words our lives so that others may read about us. I hope your children do read about you and your life – as I do mine. Thank you for reading, commenting and following my blog. Have a happy day! 🙂

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  6. We love Spearfruit at Gastradamus, We Really do. And we love Alan JAckson. Remeber when was a great song. If you ever have the chance, check out more of our stories at Gastradamus, your feedback has been awesome and we would really like more of it. The Bald and the Brestless is taking off and its because of people like you.

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  7. I echo some other thoughts here that this blog is already a legacy, and something that people value now and will in the future. I think just by writing this and your concern for others it shows, you are showing the way down a path for others to follow or learn from. You are following in your grandmother’s footsteps as a teacher!

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  8. A very insightful post and yes maybe the blog and maybe the book …but I think memories and only a few weeks ago it was would have been my mum in laws birthday so I posted a picture and a few words…but the conversation between my kids about their nan and their memories of her and what she used to cook or do was lovely …and that’s how I want to be remembered 🙂 Have a great day 🙂

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    • Yes Carol, I agree with you – the conversations I have with my mom about her mom, my grandmother bring wonderful memories and maybe just the memories are good enough. Thank you for visiting today, I hope your day is a happy one. 🙂

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  9. Personally I think we leave behind our legacy for others to interpret in whatever way they wish to. Whether we write it down or not everything is open to interpretation.
    If you try to live like your Grandmother then people will remember you fondly.
    I believe we must be the best person we can be at any given time and that will prove to be a lasting legacy in peoples memories rather than words on a page – said the man who has pretty much blogged his life in the past 16 months….. 🙂

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  10. I’m so glad you had a wonderful grandmother. And that you value the legacy that she left; the goodness, kindness, righteousness (in the best sense of the word). I think (or hope) that is what we all want to leave behind, especially for our children. The best of humanity, no matter how humble it might seem. Of course I, like your grandmother I’m sure, believe it is all for a purpose- and one day we’ll all know… 😉

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    • Thank you Sadie for such a kind comment – you are very sweet! Yes, my grandmother was a excellent example and teacher for me. I still have many things I can learn from her! Happy day to you my friend! 🙂

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