Bits and Pieces?

In my post ‘Hallelujah‘, I wrote the following –

A memory from my many years of depression and one very low point of many –

The apartment is sparse, my kids are gone fulltime from my life, I am struggling financially and my mind, my thinking and actions seem to ruin everything and everyone, including myself.

The room is dark, I sit in a corner, crouched, lonely and crying profusely and asking God –


“Why are you putting me through this?  What did I do, that you want to punish me?”

“I can’t do this, I do not have the strength; I have lost everything and everyone that means so much to me.”

“Why, God?”

I grew up as Baptist and my grandmother was a very religious woman and lived her life as we all should.  I remember going to church with her when I was very young – but stopped attending when I became older.  Prior to my ‘depression’ years I did not have a relationship with God and today the relationship is different.

“How could you put me through this?”

“You are not a fair God?”

“They say you are a good God; but you cannot be, I don’t understand, I hate you!”

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In today’s post I write the following –

What do I know about religion?  Not much, except that I have been to church before.  What do I know about God?  Not much, except I guess I have some type of relationship with God or a God.  I currently do not go to church: I stopped attending many years ago.  My religious and/or spiritual believes have changed over the years.

But am I bits and pieces of God or a God?

When I talk and act or pray and think, is someone or something listening?

Do they or he or them or her keep an eye out on me?

Are all of us bits and pieces of God or a God?

The religion I grew up with taught me I was created in the image of God.  The religion I grew up with taught me we all are created in the image of God.  So does that mean God is all of us?  Or are we what we think God is?

Could my God and your God be one in the same?  Could we all be part of the God we believe in?

I ask many questions and have no real, definite answers. I stopped going to church many years ago and my relationship with God is different.

But am I bits and pieces of God or a God?

At times I talk with someone or something; is it God or a God?  I like to think whoever or whatever is listening, is really listening!

In my post ‘Life in a Petri Dish‘, I concluded with the following –

The more I ask, the more I do not know the answers.  So in the interim, while I am here in this world existing and struggling, I will continue to grow, attempt to gain an understanding, fight the good fight, and find a purpose.  I will leave this world someday and my hope is that God will say to me ‘You passed the test!’ or that something, someone that is greater than me will say ‘He was a good specimen.’ in the life in a petri dish.

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In today’s post, I conclude with the following –

Am I bits and pieces of God or a God?


30 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces?

  1. I believe that finding spiritual meaning is an on-going struggle for many of us. Simple faith is a beautiful gift. Be well and be happy are two promises that I make often to myself. I wish the same for you.

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  2. Hummmmm good question !! The older I get the more I question everything about religion and what I cannot understand…is it real? or not? Certainly is real to many…or is it just another way to control the people, to take there money…Is there really a God, we have no proof, just have Faith, I always asked Faith in what, whom, where….Heaven and Hell….?? I have been told we are living in Hell and make it Heaven….are we just like sheep following those in control, those that hold our “sins” over our head….if there is a God why is there so much evil in the world>> suffering>> as you can see, I have many questions….I do not worship the devil nor can I go back to a Church where there first question is, How much do you make, you must tithe 10% of that, check or cash!! Nor can I go back to a Church that lets it leaders molest children, yes were all human, however if your going to be part of a religion, aren’t you suppose to be better than us mere mortals…hummm obviously I am on a rant….I have been struggling myself with “God, Our Father in Heaven” ??!!?? I would like to believe that is something bigger than ourselves…but really !!!! Real or not….I am thinking I will not get that answer until its time to “meet the maker”, so to say…I can only hope that if there are Gates to Heaven on a Golden Road. that he/she will open them to me and say-Come on in, your family is waiting for you….straight down the isle then turn right and just keep going till the sunsets… you can see I am certainly confused about the whole “God” thing!!!! I could go on and on and on and on……….Kat

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There is only one God and we are his creatures. You can’t blame God for the ill deeds of humans. Good and bad exist side by side. Clear laws are there to follow, and has been shown through time and again.

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  4. Sometimes, the greater the challenge, the greater the growth. As my reader’s know I call myself the “Tortoise” with great pride. I am not the smartest, the strongest, or the best at most if not everything in life. I am naturally slow, methodical, caring, giving, focused and kind. My goal is simple; move FORWARD along my chosen path in life to help others achieve their goals. The speed at which this is accomplished is unimportant. With so many obstacles in the way, I am more concerned about navigating the least adverse pathway. Ironically, if I succeed, I will have RECEIVED the greatest reward possible; the knowledge that I leave this world a better place than it might have been without my existence.

    With all you have been through, I’ll bet there are actions or events you have been part of that have helped other lives. Realizing the goodness within oneself, often gets us through troubled times. Stay focused on your mission in life whatever that is. It helps create purpose and meaning.

    Keep writing as well! Your words will touch the emotions of many people and will help them realize they are not alone.

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    • Dr J., thank you for this very inspiring comment. I truly believe my life is a journey of failures and successes and my hope is that when I do leave this earth, I did the best I could to live and be a good person. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment; thank you for following my blog. Happy day to you! 🙂

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  5. Terry, I have so many questions, which no-one can answer, and after so many years it becomes frustrating. So, my conclusion is, for me, as with you, to be the best person I can possibly be. Enjoy and appreciate life as best I can. Have a great day my friend. 🙂

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  6. Religion asks such as big thing, for you/ us/ humans to have complete faith yet there is no evidence to back up this faith or whether it exists or not. So at times when life isn’t going well, financial problems, heath, relationship issues, bereavement you do ask, why me? What have i done? Or when you see and hear the awful things that go on in the world, you think if there was a god would he allow that to happen? It’s healthy to question, I don’t think having complete blind faith is a good thing. However, if you feel someone (it may not be god) is listening to you or guiding you or there for you on this journey called life and you get something positive from this then the answers to your questions are not necessarily required. Sorry I’ve rambled so I hope this actually conveys what I was thinking about when I read your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the comment and you were not rambling – I understood what you wrote and I can relate to it. I like the way you put it that the answers to my questions are not necessarily required – very well put. Thank you very much for reading today and I always appreciate your comments. I hope your weekend is a happy one! 🙂

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  7. I’m glad that you’ve passed through that dark phase of depression.

    As for religion and Gods, I’m not a very religious person. I’m not an atheist so to say, but not a great believer as well. I believe in a supreme energy. I like to believe that all religions are same at some point, they spread the same teachings of loving the humanity and fellow humans. Even the religion I grow up with, taught the same thing, that, I’m a part of the God and he resides in me.

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    • Maniparna, I agree with you about all religions are same at some point, and really that is partly what this post is about. What ever God or non-god we believe in, they may be all the same in the end. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Stacey for the nice comment. I appreciate you stopping by to read today. I think if we continue to ask the questions, we may find some answers within ourselves. Happy day to you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Who is God? Who knows? We can only surmise and I believe that there is someone somewhere but we have to make our own bit of heaven, stay true to what we believe is good and right and if we look deep inside ourself ..we know….we do… be happy and have a lovely day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I was very religious as a child and as a young adult. I went to church. I, too had a grandmother who was religious. I, too was raised a Baptist.
    I used to pray to God. All I ever wanted was to be loved. I begged, prayed and begged some more. His answer was always “no.”
    I believe in God but I am mad at Him. I think He knows this. I don’t understand how He could “allow” so much sorrow to fall on one set of shoulders but he has…and I am mad at Him.
    Are we “bits and pieces?” I think so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laurel, I understand where you are coming from – I have been there and felt the same. As I wrote in my post – I ask many questions and have no real, definite answers. I do know my life is much better than it was 30 years ago, and did God have something to do with making it better? Maybe, or maybe it was just me. I know that does not help much, but I wanted to respond to your comment with some understanding of how you feel. I hope your day was better than you planned.


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