Can I change my personality?

Is it possible to change our own personality?

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In my post ‘– and this is what therapy has taught me.‘, I wrote the following –

Psychiatric therapy would take place to change my thinking from negative self-defeating to positive self-loving.  There were many years of individual and group therapy sessions, medications, and the talking about me.  What makes me want to self-abuse myself?  What makes me want to kill myself?  What makes me want to tell myself I am unwanted, unloved, a mistake, a worthless person who is defected?  What makes me quick to lose my temper and want to control others?  What makes me want to be a perfectionist?  What makes me want to have a low self-esteem to the point life is not worth living?  Why, was I sexually violated as a child?  Why was I born to live a difficult life?

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In my post ‘Struggling is part of the process‘, I ended with the following –

Struggling is part of the process.  I by no means am an expert at anything to do with life – but I continue to learn about it and I continue to learn about me.

I continue to struggle because I continue to pick up new skills because this is the learning process and this is my life.

In today’s post, I write the following –

It took over 13 years of therapy to change my thinking and improve my behavior.  Through talking with others and seeing things within me that I was unaware of, I learned many things about myself and my thinking.  This learning helped me to change my behaviors and in turn change me.  Did this changing of me change my personality?

Does the learning from struggles and the picking up of new skills that change me, change my personality?

Is it possible to change our own personality?

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psychologytoday.com article ‘Can You Change Your Personality‘, begins with the following –

Personality defines us and how we interact with the world.  Though there are different theories about what personality really is and how our basic personality traits are first formed, the general consensus is that personality is shaped by early life experiences and tend to stay stable over time.

The article is very good and if you are interested in reading, click the above link; it concludes with the following –

Recognizing that personality can be changed can lead to more effective treatment for people with personality problems as well as helping to overcome resistance to change.   All too frequently, patients insist that they are incapable of change when actually they are either unwilling or afraid to try.

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I have always been willing to change my thinking, my behavior and me and I have never been afraid to try.  I know my personality can be changed because I have changed it from a major depressed person to a happier person.  I still have changes to make, so the effort continues because I can, I will and I am not afraid to try.

38 thoughts on “Can I change my personality?

  1. Sounds like the support you had in your life helped you find value and self worth. These are two keys to recognize before a person can transition their life from sadness to happiness. Glad to see you have found a good path and continue to choose to follow it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Dr. J., I appreciate your support and kind comment. I have come a long ways, but still continue on the road to find value and self worth, I continue to struggle with it – but I do not give up. Happy day my friend! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Terry, a very moving post full of openness and disclosure. Have you ever listened to Joyce Meyer? She was sexually abused by her father. I love her testimony. I think she is full of common sense on many issues, but her outlook on being a survivor not a victim is amazing. It takes a strong person to survive what you did. You’ve had to overcome more than the average person, and that makes you extraordinary.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Sadie, I appreciate you and your nice comment – always makes my day. I do not believe I have listened to Joyce Meyer, I will certainly take the opportunity to listen. Thanks for stopping by today – Happy Day! 🙂

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  3. I swear Terry, you are the male me. Therapy, for me, was an unbiased ear to listen to my issues within my soul and try to work it out for myself. I don’t think personality can be changed. I mean, why would anyone want to change their personality? That’s where the good stuff is–but we have to get the bad stuff out of the way first. I believe we can change behavior and our way of thinking but personality defines us! XOXOXO!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting post and I love the images you chose. I think it is possible to change one’s personality. I would say mine has changed over the years as I settle into new perspectives and gain experience. My guess is that personality change is something that requires the internal integration of external growth. That integration takes time and is the work of a lifetime. We are never really thoroughly done, are we? Therefore, there’s the potential for more wonderful growth ahead. 🙂

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  5. I love that you recognize that you want to change the things that are creating strife within you, and are willing to walk through the muck to change it. You have wonderful courage Terry. Have a great Tuesday, 🙂 Alexis

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  6. That’s a good question. I have always heard the tired old phrase “a leopard never changes its spots.”
    You have been luckier than I have. I have never gotten over those demons you describe. I think, at this point, I have just accepted the fact that I am always going to be one of “those people.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laurel, I have no answers in how to overcome the demons we have. We are all different and therefore I think we have to deal with them differently. I still deal my demons, everyday, but I will not let those demons get to me like they did when I was younger. I appreciate you and your honestly, and hoping your day is wonderful! Hang in there! 🙂

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  7. This is quite an interesting post – I am fascinated with the idea of a changing personality. Even if research hadn’t shown that it can be done, I would certainly hope it could. I don’t want to think that we can’t overcome certain experiences in our lives that (by necessity) shape our early personalities, to become better people and members of the world as we get older.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I agree with you Terry! Change is possible – as long as the person is willing to do the hard work necessary to make the change! Fear can stop us in our tracks – so it’s great that you’ve been willing to work through your challenges to become the person you want to be! 🙂 🙂
    (I’m also still a work in progress! Aren’t we all?!)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Linda for the support and understanding and you are correct, I think we all are a work in progress! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, hope your day is a happy one! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I absolutely know this is possible because I have changed beyond recognition in the past several years. Not only physically and mentally but my whole outlook has changed. I am calmer, more ready to help, more understanding and much more caring.
    It can happen to us all Terry and it most certainly has happened to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yes, I believe it is possible to change your personality. Most of us focus on changing certain aspects of our personality. I would have to say it is rare for someone to change 100% of their personality.

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    • I agree with you Mr. Rodge! I think if would be nearly impossible to change 100% and why would the average person do so? I have parts of my personality I work on changing, but there are certainly other parts of my personality that are good qualities! Thank you very much for stopping by today to read and comment – always appreciated! 🙂

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