That man wearing the expensive suit and driving that expensive car and with that expensive haircut – there is a man who is fake, a man who feels sadness, a man who needs fulfillment in his life.

The woman behind the shabby apron and torn outfit, with the hair falling in her face to hide the bruise, who is frustrated and tired – there is a woman who is scared and fragile, who wants more, who is searching for something else.

A boy who is taking his frustrations on someone else; making someone else feel less than him, making someone else feel bad with pain – there is a boy who is looking for something more in his life, something better, because he is empty and needs to be complete.

That girl who is consuming to exist, struggling, using her body, making someone else feel good – there is a girl who is weak in search for more, in search for herself, a chance, a better person, a better path and a better journey.

Are these people all the same?

Do they have needs and wants and desires?

That man, the woman, a boy, that girl: are there things missing in their lives, things that need to be found, areas of their lives that are vacant that need to be filled with something?

Are they looking for joy, happiness, appreciation, searching for love, value and looking to be noticed?

Those exteriors, those actions, those fronts, those pretends – do they really help, do they really bring something to their lives, that fulfill them?

I just want to see them how they are with their thoughts – who they are with their true actions.

I have my thoughts, I may talk funny and I may not use the correct speech and I make mistakes and have typos on my blog, and I may not use the correct words; but that is who I am.

I am not pretending to be something I am not.  Or am I?  I am who I am, but I pretend to be more.

That man is no longer; he no longer feels sadness and has found some fulfillment in his life.

The woman is no longer; she is strong and secure, no longer searching for something else.

A boy may still exist; but he continues to search to be better, there is still some emptiness and completeness that needs to take place.

That girl may still struggle some; but she is finding a chance, a better person, a better path and a better journey.

Those people; that man, the woman, a boy and that girl – all those people are me at some point in my life.

I had needs and wants and desires. And I Was Pretending.

I have needs and wants and desires.  And I Am Still Pretending.

I pretended to be someone I was not.  I pretend to be someone I want to be.  I am not pretending to be who I am.


39 thoughts on “Pretending?

  1. Wow. I pretend every single day. I have the mask I wear when I am out in public. I have the fake smile when somebody speaks. I have the confident gait as I walk to my car. I have the phony prolific laugh when somebody calls.
    As I sit here, typing this….I am fake. I am sometimes capable of writing with great humor…something I learned as a child.
    The truth? I am incredibly sad and broken. Someday…I fear….that mask will be unnecessary….I will give up.
    C’est la vie.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think we are all guarded to a certain degree and do this to protect ourselves, and sometimes that is necessary, but the more we can be our authentic selves, the better we are, the better relationships we can have, and a better world it would be…… I know – probably unrealistic thinking – but we can only do it one person at a time… ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Inspiring words Jodi and yes I agree a better world it would be. I am coming to a realization of sorts with myself – a self awareness – this is a good thing. Happy Tuesday my good friend! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What an interesting perspective. And I think we all have elements of those 4 people at some point in life. Authenticity does not come at the same pace for every one. Some of us were forced into it, some came willingly, some were just the victim of life circumstance over which they had no control. Taking off the mask…survival.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I like your response about when and how authenticity is reached. For me it has taken a long time, but I am getting there. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I hope your day is a happy one! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think we are all different people depending on the context in which we find ourselves. Many of us feel too vulnerable to reveal our true selves but as we grow and gain confidence and wisdom and realise most of us are in the same boat, we can relax a little. Some of us feel constrained by the roles we have to play in our lives, some blossom: previously shy women with low self-esteem suddenly appear to become tigresses when standing up for their children. I agree with Bernadette, often you have to pretend to gain self-belief, to know how it feels, to gain confidence in being the person you want to be. That’s not being fake. That’s maturity and self-development.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Chris, yes I agree. It is the growing and understanding and gaining experiences that helps gain confidence and wisdom – part of life I guess. Thank you for reading and commenting – always appreciated! Happy Day my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a stunning piece of writing. One of the best things I have ever read of yours. And as a slavish follower of you, my dear friend, this is the highest praise I can give you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you my dear Osyth, I truly appreciate you and your comments. I will agree, this is a pretty good post with some good writing. Interesting, my better posts are ones that I just write without much forethought. Hope your day is beautiful and sunny! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad you agree because otherwise it might get ugly 😀 seriously … It is interesting how often I hear that comment about it just coming out effortlessly for writers. You are in very good company 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your day and be glad you aren’t in Florida 😱

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Great post Terry.
    We all pretend from time to time until we are comfortable.
    I am still trying not to fall into that vacuous material way of life again and as each day passes I find myself farther away from it that I am closer so I know I am challenging myself and meeting that challenge. Yes I still want things but not at the cost of my happiness. This is the best I have felt for years and the love that surrounds me, through this blog, with my friends and family sustains my desire to be better and not have more.
    Good luck on your journey to find the true you although I think you are maybe getting there a little quicker than you might acknowledge….

    Liked by 2 people

  7. With this insight comes a great step to freeing yourself to be truly you Terry! In the meantime don’t beat yourself up for uncovering this key human imperfection. Remember it was born when we were small and dependent on others for our safety and well being. Now we are big we can explore a whole different way of being true to ourselves!
    … And sell all that stuff 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow! Awesome, deep post Terry. I think we all do a bit of pretending in our lives, maybe it is coping mechanism to help us discover our true authentic self…I don’t know. All I know, is I think with maturity hopefully we do find ourselves in the true sense of the word. As we get older, things just seem to fit into place and we feel more comfortable with ourselves. Enjoy the rest of your day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. OH my what a wonderful post…your words just flowed out and its obvious you touched all our inner soul…..pretending…..takes so my effort and patience to stay the pretending mode….I must say I believe we all have been there at one time or another…some are still there living separate lives of their inner soul…..personally I left that all behind me along, long time ago….love me for who I am, as I am who I am…something that a Popeye cartoon taught me at a young age, for the crazy places to learn a life lesson…I believe its important to be authentic to who you are inside and then the reflection out will be true blue so to say…I love transparency in life….do I believe that we are allowed to have secrets….of course….you never, ever have to bare your entire soul….but pretend to be something I am not…..never….I may wish, or dream I am something more, or less….but never pretend…..great post…..I read a lot of the answers from your friends, this obviously struck a note in many lives……lots of hugs…kat

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you kat, your comment is one reason I think highly of you. I can tell through your writing that you are a true person – no pretending – and you are very happy – I like that. Me being true to myself if what is bringing happiness to me. Work in progress. Always appreciate your comments. 🙂


      • Yes is takes work on being true not only to yourself but what you project into the world… I have always preached that its best to own it and move on with life than try to pretend it didn’t happen or you didn’t say it, or it is what it isn’t….sometimes the hardest thing to do in entire world…..but inner strength and learning from the school of hard knocks has helped me be who I am…I am who I am like me or not…doesn’t really matter to me….as long as I am happy with me that’s all that matters…..whoa did I get on a rant….LOL love ya

        Liked by 1 person

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