Good things require work

I recently read a well written blog post from my good friend Osyth over at Half Baked In Paradise.  The title of her post is ‘Good God (or The Devil) is in the detail‘, and I encourage everyone to take time and hop over to her blog and read her inspiring post.

I hope Osyth does not mind if I take a couple of her sentences from her outstanding post and use them here.  Osyth’s own written words –

Here’s the thing, we can all be decent just because we want to be decent.  It is absolutely in all our hands and minds and hearts to want to change and to stop being selfishly driven by our own needs and to accept that we are all particular and that none of us is a better particular, a more worthy particular than any other.

What I will bring to you is the detail of harmony, peace and tolerance – not things that just magically happen but things that require work.

In my video post ‘Have a Happy Day‘, I spoke about my aches and pains I am experiencing every day and my ‘bad’ mood I am in.  These aches, pains & ‘bad’ mood are affecting my motivation and patience and energy level.  But I continue to move forward not letting these difficulties stop me from trying to ‘Have a Happy Day’.

My nights are increasing in the lack of sleep I am receiving due to pain and discomfort, and I wake every morning tired, feeling lifeless with spirits down.  These difficult nights, the lower right back pain and the burning bladder are all taking a toll on my body and my emotions.  I am crying more in the mornings, not necessarily because of the pain, but more so because of the quality of life I am experiencing.  I think about the significance of my illness and think to myself; people either do not understand or do not care.

So the physical pain and the emotional pain are beating me down.  It is difficult for me to be in a good mood, to be happy, be grateful and thankful.  I feel none of these right now.

But then I read Osyth’s written words; that post and those sentences.  Reading her words, she reminds me “not things that just magically happen but things that require work.”  I am allowing myself to feel sorrow for myself, and this is okay for a while.  During this time of sorrow, I become selfish; angry and frustrated that those who should be interested in my wellbeing are not.  I know they are, and I know life, and I know I do not always receive that which I desire.

Osyth’s written words remind me, I will work on my motivation, my patience, being grateful and thankful for those that are in my life and the good things that I have.  These good things do not just magically happen.

And I continue to work on these good things again for another day.

Thank you Osyth for an outstanding post – one that enlightens me and benefits me – I am grateful.

Me (2)

52 thoughts on “Good things require work

  1. I once had a therapist tell me that it is okay to have compassion for yourself, because we should treat ourselves the way we would treat someone we love. In the same fashion, you would be compassionate towards someone, but you wouldn’t want to pity them; in this respect, you wouldn’t want to pity yourself.

    I think it sounds like you are being compassionate towards yourself and I think that is completely okay. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    • Thank you my friend, that therapist is correct. But at times, my compassion for myself does feel selfish – I am hard on myself, always have been. Thank you for the insight, I greatly appreciate it and greatly appreciate you! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • Obviously you have high expectations for yourself. Do you consider yourself a high achiever? Sometimes I forget that I was an the kind of student in school that achieved more than most of my classmates, but looking back, I was extremely hard on myself and expected a lot for myself. So, when I fail – in my eyes, not those of others – I am extremely critical of myself.

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        • I have never considered myself a high achiever – quite the opposite. This is the reason I have to push myself and be critical of myself – or I would not be here today – literally would not be here. Thanks friend! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Terry, I hear what you are saying, and good things do require work. I also feel, you are allowed to feel as you are feeling right now. It cannot be easy. The lack of sleep and pain, that alone, can not be easy. There is some adjustment now in your life, but knowing the person you are, you will continue to try and cope with these daily issues. You will have your good days for sure, you will have better days than other days. Hang in there, soon the new chapter of your life will begin, and I truly wish you well. Hugs x

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  3. Oh Terry, I’m so very sorry – when I read your post I thought of something someone told me at a time when I was in pain, angry, and frustrated that my body was betraying me – “When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.” I’m sending healing vibes and good thoughts your way….Molli

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  4. There is an adage, takes work to find work. In this case, like yourself i too needs work for a greater purpose for ourselves. Lets all be turtles when it comes in a personal achievements, coz id always the bunny will fall asleep as soon it hits the ground hehe.

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  5. Hey. There’s nothing wrong with wallowing on the floor now and then….besides…it keeps your floors shiny! (At least that’s what I tell myself.)
    I’ll send you a quote by Rose Kennedy. “After a storm, the birds sing. Why shouldn’t we?”

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  6. Some days I mourn my body. I allow myself to feel sorrow for what my body is going through and allow myself to cry and just be. The truth is it is frustrating to wake up tired and frustrating to feel pain. I just allow myself to feel. Not for days on end but for moments and minutes sometimes hours. I have bo control over my body but I get to let myself feel the emotions that are the result of my not being what i want it to be. I dont want pain, lyme disease, muscle disease..i just want to sleep through the night. So i can empathize with the struggle and i like that youve written about it

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for understanding, and you are correct, I want to sleep through the night. I can better handle what my body is doing, it I could just sleep through the night. Be well my friend, I appreciate you very much. 🙂

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      • I just saw my doc yesterday and she wants me to take xanax for a few nights just so i can wake up rested and can then handle the stress of the day better. So i am giving it a shot. I wish you well!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • I would be interested in how that works for you – let me know. I was thinking of maybe taking a muscle relaxer, just to see if that would help. I really don’t like taking pills, but I really need a good night’s sleep! Here is to a good night’s sleep! 🙂

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  7. such wonderful words of encouragement and love you are receiving from your friends here terry! I hope you feel the love. and I’m glad you found encouragement from another friend’s blog. That’s what it is all about – eh? Hang in there my friend. I hate to think of you crying, but I am proud of you for being the man to admit it. and for letting it out, and for your depth of emotion. sending love and hugs! xo

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    • Thank you Jodi, yes you are correct about the encouragement here from all my friends! This thing taking place with my body, it is happing now for a reason, because I have many friends here on WP to help me through it – including you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You wrote ” I think about the significance of my illness and think to myself; people either do not understand or do not care.” … I hope you know you’re wrong. Cancer, however ‘benign’ instills fear into the heart of the most brave. I have skin cancer. I’ve had three lesions removed so far and just the sound of ‘carcinoma’ put ice water in my veins. I’ve had one small melanoma. But I understand about what I call the ‘invisible illness’. I’ve had people say to me that “you don’t LOOK sick” when I am forced to stay in or not go to an event or church or something. My illnesses are invisible. I had an elderly neighbor tell me this exact thing yesterday when we were chatting. She has fibromyalgia. Sometimes the nerve pain is so intense she just stays in bed. And her children tell her “But you DON’T LOOK SICK”…. (grown children who should have better sense). Nobody can know intimately the extent of another’s pain nor feeling of malaise, but we CAN offer words of comfort and understanding to those fellow sufferers. You are deeply cared about my friend. Lots of people are watching to see the outcome of your personal journey with the ‘big C’ and praying for the best outcome. We are here to listen to you too when you need to unload. That’s what I like best, perhaps, about blogging. It’s a community. We have support. And we are safe. Have a better day Terry. I’m truly rooting for you. (and that blog was superb. Thanks for recommending it!)

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    • Thank you dear, you are always one big support for me. And this pouring out of my soul, my feelings, my weakness, I do it here and I receive back support that I do not receive elsewhere. Thank you and I appreciate you!

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  9. I am SO glad that my words have helped you. Humbled actually because you are a man I have the highest regard to. A man I am so proud and priviliged to call my friend. And, my friend, you are allowed to feel the way you feel – pain and tiredness and fear of the impending major surgery and the leaving behind of your past (home) as you set off on this new adventure which is starting with a major hurdle – I think pretty much everyone would feel out of sorts, down, feeble, depressed and generally bad-tempered … I know I would. Thank you for asking others to read what I wrote – I don’t give myself any particular importance but I do give importance to the need for decency and kindness and harmony and I know nothing ever comes easy but that if we all try a bit we can make a difference, a start. By the way I also know that you are an exemplar of what I speak of and it is not too forceful to call you an inspiration. You are, dear Terry, you are. Maybe a bit chipped and dented just now, but an inspiration nonetheless. Take it easy, be easy on yourself and shout out for the compassion you need – I send you boundless compassion and tenderness and a swig of it for Gary too who is supporting you through this very very rough sea.

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    • Osyth, you words are inspiring and I know not just to me. I appreciate them in your posts and your comments. I am hard on myself, this I know and I expect much from me; especially during times of struggle. I will ease up some, and lift some burden I am placing on myself. Thanks dear, you know I appreciate you, right? 🙂

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  10. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. I can’t imagine. I’ve been in a lot of pain lately and it was starting to get to me. But you’re right, it’s a lot of my own choice. And I can do better. Thank you for the encouragement. And I am hoping for good news from you in the future!

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  11. Reading all those lovely comments I can´t keep from thinking “If words could heal…”! And I truly wish they could, Terry, I really do!!! Your post has moved me very much, and I feel for you – pain and lack of sleep are so cruel 😦 I hope you are feeling better very, very soon!!! Love, Sarah xxx

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    • Thank you Sarah, I think the words are healing – I do feel better today. I don’t like taking pills and I decided last night to take a muscle relaxer just to see if it would help. It did some, in that my night was not quite as bad as previous. As a result, I am having a better day. Thank you for your concern and support and words, they are all very healing! Happy day my friend! 🙂

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  12. Terry, I don’t know how you could feel any different than you do. Not sleeping takes away our ability to deal with normal life. And you have pain and so much more to deal with at this time. This is so terribly sad. Being sick and in chronic pain can be a very lonely walk… in making you feel alone. Be careful not to stay alone in your thoughts too much. There is so much love and well wishes for you here! May it carry you when you are at your lowest.

    I was wondering, does your doctor know you are in pain and cannot sleep? I can’t imagine they want you to suffer so. I hate to take medication too and have suffered needlessly through chronic pain, but that was not at all good for my over all health. One time I was forced to take pain meds because of nerve pain that was crushing. And while it was a very heavy pain medicine, I think relieving my body from the stress of the pain was the best thing I could have done for myself. I understand your hesitancy, but the endless suffering and not sleeping could be more damaging in the long run. Terry, I hope you will consider trying something for the quality of your life and to keep your strength to get through and recover from your next surgery. This is an exceptional circumstance and may warrant you giving yourself permission to take something that may help. There is a time for pain meds and you my friend I believe are there. I hope this is received with the compassion and understanding I am sending it to you!

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    • My friend. I wish I was there to sit and just be there in the same space as you….its okay to be angry, and have those feelings….your going through a life changing surgery….I am so sorry that your still having pain and sleep is your enemy at this time…..remember to get naps in during the day…..melatonin is natural and may help you relax to sleep…..I know that you are not only getting ready for surgery but moving and saying good bye to Texas…one day at a time….deep breathing and give yourself a pass….its a lot to take in to even think about it….I know its hard to be feel happy, and motivated….so really, give yourself the time to just absorb the day….soon this will all be just a memory and you will be back at it….know that you have all of us…me for sure, and Gary to hold you up….its okay Terry to let yourself just be!!! Rest my friend….meditate and find that spot inside yourself to find comfort…know that I am thinking of you daily….and sending love and good wishes through out the day….and even though the moon beams couldn’t help you this time I continue to twirl in the moon beams for you my friend…Namaste……..kat

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      • Thank you kat, your comments are always comforting to me. I am taking one day at a time, and I know I have much to look forward to. I will be honest, I am frustrated with each day, I think it will be better, but it is about the same – I know it will change soon. Thanks dear for the twirling in the moon beams, I have not done much twirling lately or meditating, or exercising. It will be better soon, thank you for your support and thoughts – I appreciate them! 🙂

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  13. Thank you dear, I did receive with compassion and understanding. Since I am no longer seeing Dr. F., he has no idea of my lack of sleep and pain. Honestly, I don’t think he would do anything about it – he was a little unsympathetic. I have the last 2 nights taken a muscle relaxer in hopes to help me as I really dislike taking pain medication. The last 2 nights have been better, not great, but better. I understand the need to take care of myself and ready myself for the next surgery. I try. 🙂

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