Good

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merriam-webster.com has the following definition –

good

adjective |\ˈgu̇d\

Simple Definition of good

:  of high quality

:  of somewhat high but not excellent quality

:  correct or proper

People ask me how I am doing and I usually respond with “Good”.  In the mornings, I usually tell Gary “Good morning” and he responds “Good morning, how are you?”  I respond “Good”.

Sometimes in comments on my blog, I will respond with “All is good”

image1I am not always ‘Good’, in fact lately I have been quite the opposite.

I can and am a mean person at times – I admit it – I can be and am a very mean person at times.

I have previously written about this side of me before.  You can read more about this in my posts ‘The Evil Person Inside‘, ‘Mean Lately‘ and ‘I can do better‘.

Lately I am not ‘good’, it is the opposite!

You may remember in my video log ‘The Next Surgery‘, I spoke about my bladder issues becoming worse, and the lower right side pain I was experiencing.  Quotes from that video “I am okay with it all.”, “It is what it is.”, “I will deal with it the best I can, and that is all I can do.”, “I have not been the happiness person lately, I have had a lot of pain lately, and that is part of the deal.”

In my video log ‘Have a Happy Day‘, I explain where my unhappiness comes from and why I am in a bad mood, therefore I become mean.  The bladder is burning continually and increases with urination, which is quite often.  The lower back area continues to hurt and I am tired.

Just because I have aches and pains and cancer does not indicate I am doing nothing.  Today, tomorrow and the next, I continue to take care of a home, lawn and a pool.  A couple of weeks ago I was in the front yard and taking care of my weekly lawn care; trimming, mowing, sweeping and one of the neighbors I had not spoken with for a while approached me.  He asked how I was doing.  I responded “I am good!”  Really I was not good, I was tired and not feeling good at all, but I was not going to tell him that.  Why?

Image2

Image Provided by: thesocietyonline.org

I honestly feel many people don’t want to hear how others truly feel.  I think out of courtesy to others we ask; especially those that are dealing with a physical illness.  If I were to respond to the question differently and say “I feel very bad today, my body hurts and my bladder is burning and I am very tired.”, what would the response be?  I do not really know.  I doubt I would receive the same response as I do when responding with ‘I am good!”

Am I being sarcastic?  Well maybe I am – I will continue to tell people I am good.  Except here on my blog, and you truly know the way I feel.

And I appreciate those that read and respond to how I truly feel.

80 thoughts on “Good”

  1. I always say my friend if we were wholly Good we would not be here upon our Earth Journey.. 🙂 The thing is we understand we have our bad days and make the most of our Good ones.. And you are doing remarkable things and still managing to feel Good and BE good 😉 most of the time Lol..
    Sending Love and thoughts your way
    Sue ❤

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    • Thank you Sue for understanding and yes I agree. I know my day’s will be better soon and though I have bad days, I still continue to say I am good! Thank your for being kind and for taking the time to visit me today. Happy day to you! 🙂

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  3. I think you’re right. When some people ask how you are, they really don’t want to know. If you say you’re not well, it means they would have to find the right response, or act like they care.
    People ask that question out of…curiosity…politeness…habit….lack of anything contextual…or yes, out of caring.
    I used to ask my children how they were doing…and I asked because I cared.
    Some years back, somebody asked me “how are you doing.” I started rattling off every kind of ailment you could imagine. The look on their face was priceless and it gave me a good laugh. They didn’t really want to know.
    You’re right again when you say that you can tell us how you really feel. We care…and we’re here for you. 🙂

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  4. You’re actually being Good by answering that you’re feeling good to some people ; even if you don’t realize it you’re doing it to be good to them , to not bother or worry or leave them without knowing how to respond to your more truthful/explicit response 🙂
    The difficulty resides in knowing to which people we can let it all out , because they truly want to know and could help us 😉 it’s kind of a bit like the serenity prayer if you know what I mean .
    To us please let it all out if and when you need it . Sometimes pretending all is good actually helps us a bit , others it’s in our detriment .
    Hugs ❤

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    • Thanks Jodi, I know lately I have more bad feelings than good, I do not want to have this blog become a ‘downer’ blog! Many changes in the next week – I feel my feelings will be better this week. Appreciate you – Happy Sunday! 🙂

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  7. I think what you are is tremendously decent and kind. It’s your reflex not to burden people with the truth but the truth is that life bluddy well sucks for you right now and you feel ghastly much of the time – physically pained and worn out. So if you want to answer truthfully you should be able to but I suspect being the lovely man you are, you’ll keep on glossing the veneer. I wish I could take away the pain, the exhaustion, the fear. But I can’t – I can only send my warmth and heartfelt friendship and my wish that soon all WILL be well. And it will. 💖

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    • I am feeling the warmth of friendship all over this post today! The pain is less because I am taking some meds, though I am not totally pain free. And yes, I really to not want to bother people with all my feelings both physically and mentally that are taking place. Thanks Osyth, you are a best friend and I do know all WILL be well soon. Thanks dear, Happy Day! 🙂

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  8. I agree with Osyth – it is really can be a burden for acquaintances and neighbors, who then don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes I will just say so-so, if I really look awful because it is written all over my face. You are not a bad or mean person, Terry!!!! Life just sucks right now. You are in pain, you are moving house and going for surgery that you would rather not have. I am glad that you can vent on your blog and I hope you tell your close friends and family a little of how you are feeling. That way they can give you a hug when you feel bad or send you a thoughtful email. Sending a virtual hug and a gentle reminder to look after yourself by taking the medication and trying to relax.

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    • I just got that hug – feels really good! I appreciate you letting me vent about how I am feeling, I do not want to make it a habit on my blog. But, I also do not want to come across as I am a totally happy person dealing with what I am dealing with. You and others here help me tremendously, this is one reason I want to express my true feelings here – sometimes I need support and reassurance! Thanks Kerry, you are a sweet friend! 🙂

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  9. I’m so glad to hear how you really feel. In our society we learn to say, “I’m good, I’m fine.” For some (and I’m sure you are becoming expert at ferreting those people out) that may be the most appropriate response. But, those who love and care about you, want to hear how you are feeling. You aren’t a mean person. You may be in so much pain, frustration, and just that feeling yucky in mind, body, and spirit, that you get irritable. Really, who wouldn’t? I would, so does everyone else. Cancer is a big deal to cope with, as well as chronic illness. It’s wonderful you get up every day, do the things around the house that make you feel good, boogie vlog, blog, and get ready to move, and know that there is surgery right around the corner. Whew…Be kind to yourself. I love when you write from your heart. I love honesty. You worked hard to come to a place where you get to be the person you are, no longer being the person others wanted you to be. Sending hugs! Keep breathing, feel the love…

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    • Alexis, thank you for accepting my honesty. I was concerned that if I wrote too many posts about my true feelings, it would turn people off. Believe me, I do not plan to have too many of these types of posts, I have many other areas of my life to write about. But, I need to write these types of post every once in awhile because I need some support from you and others. Thank you for your friendship and hugs! 🙂

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  11. I wouod ask, and i wouod want to hear exactly how you felt so that i could connect to you and give you the empathy and understanding you deserve.when i am not good and the word good just cant come out of my mouth, and someone asks, depending on the day they may get an ” ok” or a ” it’s a challenging day for me” or ” struggling” or i may even say ” eh” but rarely can i just say ok anymore.it feels like im lying to myself. Just my tandom thoughts. 😊

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  12. I was going to say the same as theturtle. I know exactly what you mean. You protect those close to you from worrying by telling them you’re good and you know those who aren’t are merely asking out of courtesy or as another way of greeting you. When we first moved here, everyone you passed would say ‘Y’all right?’ Being in some pain I would be flattered that they were so freindly to a new neighbour and cared enough to ask if I was any better, so I would answer honestly. It took me years to realise this was merely the local vernacular for ‘hello!’ You are understandably getting at bit near the end of your tether with all your problems, pain and the stress of the move and those who know will take this into account. I am pleased you feel safe and able to let it all out here. 😊

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    • Thank you Chris, and I do feel safe with you and others here. The support is amazing and good for me – truly I am very fortunate! Thanks for your comment, I appreciate knowing about others feelings on these types of posts! Happy day to you! 🙂

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  14. You’re right – not everyone you see needs to know exactly how you feel. You can choose to be honest with those who really care about you – we all do that. It’s not that we are hiding but that we don’t want to share our true selves with everyone. But it is a very good thing for you to have an outlet for you to be totally real when you choose – and this blog is a wonderful place to do that! We may not know you personally, but we hear you, feel for you, pray for you and want only healing and happiness for you Terry – best wishes to you on those tough days!

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  15. This was interesting Terry… I drive my husband crazy because he does care and I do the same thing with him. I am so used to trying to hide how I feel, it is a reflex response to just say good… and then quickly change the subject! While it is a great strategy with most people, it isn’t with those who care! I get you!!! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest here!

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  16. I always respect the honesty in you; that, you admit the bad things that are inside your mind along with the good ones. None of us are angels, we do have follies, but we seldom admit it. You do it with great honesty.
    “I honestly feel many people don’t want to hear how others truly feel”- I agree with you on it.

    Take care, Terry…wish you everything good in your life… 🙂

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    • Thank you Maniparna for relating and understanding. I am thankful the ‘many people’ that do not want to hear are not here on WP. I am very fortunate to have you and others here as friends – truly I am. Happy Day! 🙂

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  17. Coming late to the party, I’m just going to say I agree with what’s already been said and am so glad to be part of the group you don’t have to be “good” for. The burden of not revealing our pain, unhappiness, frustrations to everyone who asks “how are you?” is a huge one, and I’m glad you can share it here. Thinking of you, and sending hugs.

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  19. Terry, we all say it…we are good, and 90% of the time we are not. I wouldn’t stress about it. You are allowed. I am pleased you have this outlet though to express your true feelings when you want to, as you are carrying around a lot, and some pressure has to be released. It’s okay. Keep being you, you are great. Hugs my friend. Enjoy today. x

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  20. OMG Terry, of course, you don’t feel “good!” Who would be good in your current situation doing everything that you’re doing! Yes, your poor body is tired and in pain because it’s working its butt off fighting this cancer.
    On top of that, you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off packing your whole life into a trailer and hitting the road! (And still doing weekly gardening and daily blogging!)
    Plus, you’re having to cope with the emotional toll from the Cancer, the upcoming surgery, and the move etc!
    Get my point, I hope?
    But you’re right, sad to say there are many people who don’t really want to hear how we are when they ask “how are you?” However, the people who we’re close too, our loved ones NEED to hear the truth. If you just keep saying “I’m good” you’re doing your relationships a disservice. Gary, for example, needs to hear how you really feel. Trust him with your pain, fear and concerns. That’s what love, commitment, and relationships are about, right?
    Wow, what a lecture. I’m sorry. Maybe I’m way off base ranting at you. But I’m concerned because you’re right. You always put up this incredibly brave happy front but it’s more than okay, it’s normal to not be good and happy with this sh*t going on.
    All of us here do care very much, myself included, big time. So go ahead and say it like it really is anytime and we’ll all be here.
    If we don’t connect before you hit the road, happy trails. 🙂

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    • Not a lecture at all – just you displaying how much you care – and I truly appreciate it. I agree, most people really do not want to hear how we are truly feeling, I guess just human nature. I am learning to express how I feel with those that are close; family, Gary. We will be on the road tomorrow! Thanks Amanda, I hope you have a great week. 🙂

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  22. It can be difficult face to face to discuss how you are really feeling, so you try to make life easier on those around you. But those of us who follow your blog are thinking of you and will listen to whatever you need to share. We appreciate your openness and wish we could help. You are a very brave and kind man and should give yourself the credit you deserve

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  23. A happy day to you. You can only tell people who care how you really feel. I have experienced it myself. Sometimes when I am not feeling well, and tell how I am, people eyes glaze over, I can feel that their minds are elsewhere. The old quote: Laugh and people will laugh with you, cry and you will cry alone”, is true.

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  24. I think people do want to hear it they just don’t know what to say. They feel hopeless saying “Oh, I hope you feel better.” Each day you will struggle to feel better than the last and it seems like a cycle to them and they don’t know how to respond.

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  25. It´s a sad truth that most people don´t want to really hear how one really feels…:( But at least there are those special ones that do and that is all that matters 🙂 Agree with everything this lovely community already said to you and don´t want to repeat it 😉 Maybe we should do as the chinese, they don´t ask: “How are you?” but “Have you already eaten?” 😉 That´s because food is a very essential and important part of their culture (all those famishes etc) I think it´s a brilliant invention! 🙂

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  26. There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said, but I’m still your friend, whether you’re good OR bad. Pain is taxing on the soul, and it’s completely understandable that you’re going to have bad days. I just hope that somehow you’re still able to have good days in there every now and again. And then, who knows!! Maybe after the next surgery, you’ll have more good than bad!! Well, that’s my wish for you anyway. 😀

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  28. Pingback: Post Rewind: Terry Trying to Cope With Pain (written and posted in mid May 2017) | spearfruit

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