‘I have been there, done that’

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Over the past couple of months, I have had mixed emotions at times when dealing with my current health situation.  Immediately prior to starting chemotherapy, I had anxiety and concern and I knew this was okay and to be expected.

As I continued through these past weeks with my emotions very often one of strength and positivity, I have written about my journey so far with my cancer, my treatment and the possible future.  I do not want to leave anything out, it will all be here; the good and the bad, the weak and the strong, it will all be here.

This blog is about my life.  My life right now is cancer and I am making a big deal out of it.  But many people on this world have cancer, so why is mine any more important than theirs?  I tell myself at times others that have experienced cancer or know someone that has; well maybe are thinking in their minds that I overdo my emotions, my thinking or reactions.

I tell myself, those others who know cancer may have the thinking “I have been there, done that”, and maybe those other people know more than I and therefore “he (meaning me), overreacts”.  My point is I am dealing with my cancer the best I can, that which is me and a part of me – with what I have learned up to this point.  It is my life.  I read other blog posts with people writing about their struggles and I tell myself, “I have been there, done that.”  And I could respond with my personal experience or ‘tips’, ‘suggestions’, or the ‘solution’ to their problem – like I really know the answer to their struggles!

Life11

I do feel that it is my responsibility as a reader to read what the writer is putting down in print that which is their thinking, their feelings, their emotions and their life.  This is what I am doing here.

From cancer.net –

This year, an estimated 76,960 adults (58,950 men and 18,010 women) will be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the United States. Among men, bladder cancer is the fourth most common cancer. It is estimated that 16,390 deaths (11,820 men and 4,570 women) from this disease will occur this year.

From cancer.org –

About half of all bladder cancers are first found while the cancer is still confined to the inner layer of the bladder wall. (These are called non-invasive or in situ cancers.) About 1 in 3 bladder cancers have invaded into deeper layers but are still only in the bladder. In most of the remaining cases, the cancer has spread to nearby tissues or lymph nodes outside the bladder. Rarely (in about 4% of cases), it has spread to distant parts of the body.

My cancer is Stage 4 bladder cancer and I know the statistics.

This blog is about my life.  My life right now is cancer and I am making a big deal out of it.  But many people on this world have cancer, so why is mine more important than theirs?

103 thoughts on “‘I have been there, done that’”

  1. I once had someone tell me that my problems are very real, and it is not always good to compare them to others. You are dealing with your life, although there are others doing similar – worse, better, or the same is irrelevant – all that’s important is that you handle your challenges! Your cancer is the most important, because only you can follow the regiment of treatment for you – you can’t do it for someone else and someone else can’t do it for you. Your strength comes through in your posts.

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  3. It’s Important Terry, because it is happening to YOU.. and each person is different, no matter how large or small a problem or illness is, its Huge to the person going through it..
    So keep being YOU.. and doing what you feel is right ..
    Love and Hugs

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  7. Don’t any man nor woman DARE to tell you not to overreact. There is no such thing as an overreaction – it is your illness and your pain and your fear to deal with exactly and precisely as you wish. And anyone who disagrees or makes you feel bad I will personally get in my car (and put it in sport mode) with The Bean and we will hunt them down and we will sort them out. I have a vicious tongue and I would leave them flayed and trembling, believe me. And The Bean has stink breath and she’s willing to use it. YOu my friend are brave and true and good and kind and sensitive and I will NOT tolerate anyone being anything but decent to you. And breathe ….

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  8. Hi Terry,
    You are on my reader today !! regarding your post of today, I say you own this and only you have the right to your reaction, I think it is wonderful that you are sharing in this way, and I hope it is also good for you, we are here because we want to know where you are at and how you are,so thank you for showing your emotions and your strengths, and (boogie idea here) if it feels good do it !
    Take care hugs your way
    Brooke

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  9. I don’t think it is about yours being more important than theirs. This is your blog, your cancer and you have the right to express whatever emotion you want, when and how you want. Everyone is different, and everyone deals with situations differently. This is your way, and there is nothing wrong with your way. There is no right or wrong way, and please never feel guilty for putting it all out there. This is your way. I respect you so much for putting all your emotions out there. Cancer, is not easy, and the way you are dealing with it, is heroic.
    Yes, there are many that have dealt with cancer or had a family member have cancer, but they are not you, each for their own in dealing with situations. One thing for sure is, you are giving me insight on Cancer, and for that, I thank you, as lets face it, no one knows what the future holds…Keep being you my friend. Hope you are having a great day. 🙂

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  10. I completely agree with my fellow bloggers, especially Osyth who always seems to find the perfect words 😊
    You’re NOT overreacting! How could you? This is so very real to you right now and you’ve got every right to let everything that you feel and think out – this is helping you so much to fight and keep strong and therefore you need to do it! There’s no right or wrong in emotions. They simply are what they are. Keep fighting Terry!!! HUGE HUGS coming your way 😀❤

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    • Thanks Sarah, for understanding and allowing me to express my feelings with regards to my cancer in my own way. I continue to fight and move forward! Thanks for your support, I certainly appreciate you very much. 🙂

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  11. This is your life, your life IS a big deal. Your life includes cancer right now, and that’s scary, disruptive, (insert lots more words here) and a big deal! This is your safe place to write it down, get it out and just be who you are. That’s the beauty of you and your life! Keep it up…whatever the topic of the day, we are with you! 🙂

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  13. “But many people on this world have cancer, so why is mine more important than theirs?” Hun, it’s NOT. BUT. As you said, this is about YOUR LIFE, so it’s of ULTIMATE IMPORTANCE of course. I just read a blog from a young woman (22) who has multiple myeloma (the blood/bone marrow cancer that killed my father) and she is in the same spot as you in a way…wondering about why. (or that’s how I’m interpreting these messages today anyhow).. I don’t think there’s any answer. Bad things do happen to the best people. And you and she should know there is a HUGE community of support out here to help you cope with what is a really horrible thing. If writing about it and dwelling on it and sharing the aspects of it, large and small, is helpful in bearing the burden, then do it! None of your readers minds at all, in fact it’s encouraging to see you’re well enough to sit up and catalogue the latest frustrations and laughs and journey of it all! Maybe that’s how the world will end ultimately, not with fire nor ice, but cancer of some form or another taking over everyone. Cancer of the soul is already at epidemic proportions and I doubt many have noticed. Like Tanya Cliff….I am just simply sending you my <3!

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    • Embeecee, you always have inspiring words for me and I have a deep appreciation for you. I am fortunate to know you and others here, who bring comfort to me and help me during my difficult time. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

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  16. My mother is very sensitive, almost comically my father is not. Every once in a while though, he makes a thoughtful statement and “totally redeems himself.” Such was the case one afternoon when my mother was feeling rather bruised. She questioned why she would get so upset over something small. He replied “It’s like a broken arm, sometimes it’s nothing- and sometimes it kills a man.” Only you can be you Terry. This is your story, thanks for sharing. 🙂

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  17. You are making a big deal about it because it is happening to you! I go through the same things with my struggles and others comparing it. We can never compare pain or struggles in life. My husband told me an analogy about a week ago that you might be able to relate to regarding comparing pain and struggle and abuse. It goes like this;

    Abuse or pain can be compared to electronics. Certain electronic components reach what is called saturation. No matter how much more energy you put into them, you will get no more energy or amplification out of them… they are saturated. Abuse and pain are just like this. Once we reach the point of saturation, no matter how much more pain or abuse we receive, our experience is no better or worse than someone else’s. We are saturated! And no one else gets to measure that!

    I believe you my friend have reached the point of saturation a long time ago!

    Many people are not honest with their struggles, how bad it really is. Being honest does allow others to walk beside you and know where you are at any given time. It allows you the opportunity to get the support you need. And I hope that is always the case for you Terry! Keep it real! You are amazing and doing an amazing job dealing with extraordinary circumstances!

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    • Thank you Val as always for your support, understanding and just being here for me. Yes, certainly a personal journey I am own and at times the future unknown creates emotions within me. I then come back to me and take it one day at a time.

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  20. You are making a big deal about it because cancer is a BIG DEAL. And that’s okay. How you choose to deal with your cancer is your choice. We’re along with you for the ride. All we can offer is support and company. Hang in there.

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  21. I can only agree with what others are saying. Lynne is spot on; it’s not a competition for importance. You are our friend and your cancer is important to us because you are. Carry on dealing with this however you need to; you know yourself. Nurture that knowledge and let it help you.

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  22. Would be kind of weird if you were like, I have cancer; oh well. Wouldn’t make for very interesting reading that’s for sure. When it’s my turn to cover that ground I’m definitely going to milk it for all it’s worth, make it my bitch, turn it into a muse. Use it to explore what up until that point was the deepest and most out of reach place inside of me. It’s got to be good for something right? Maybe not good, but at least useful. Personally I’m all for it; please ~ overreact away. Exaggerate. Get Dramatic. Blow it the hell up all out of proportion. Who knows, maybe it will be a little therapeutic. *hugz* ~pie~

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    • Thank you for understanding exactly my feelings. Trust me, there are times I do make it all about the cancer, but then realize I need to move beyond that, there is much more living to do besides just the cancer that is in me right now. But at times that does not stop me from making it all about the cancer. Thanks for your comment, I hope you have a good day.

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  24. This post really strikes an emotional chord with me because cancer has been a big part of my family’s life and I know there is always that chance I will get it too, and being the over thinker I am I play it out in my mind and wonder how I will handle it. Will I be able to get out of bed every day or just hide under the covers and cry? I have so much admiration and even more so, respect, for your strength – and those aren’t just words. I think it takes such an amazing amount of strength to not wallow and be miserable because that really would be the easiest choice, wouldn’t it?

    Thank you so much for writing and sharing and inspiring and all my best wishes go to you.

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    • Thank you for your comment and words – my hope with my blog is that I just record those feelings and emotions as I journey through with my cancer. Trust me, I do have my days that I hide in the bedroom and want to be left alone. But then I realize it is time to get up and live, because I will not let this cancer beat me down. I appreciate you reading and commenting and hope you have a happy day. 🙂

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  28. Oh my….I also have sport mode in my car and I bet Fiona and I will get there at the same time to kick some booty….let no one tell you how to feel – how to react to what you going through….its your life, your illness, your body – no one else can stand in your shoes…we can only stand beside you and help give you strength and beat the bitches that are harassing you….LOL of course I would do it with finesse and tact, lol but believe me….there is a long line to protect you my dear….we all stand behind Gary and your family….the good ole Carol King song, You’ve got a friend…comes to mind…keep fighting this nasty little disease and I will continue to send moon beams your way…lots of hugs…..kat

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    • Aww, thanks kat, what wonderful friends I have here, I am fortunate. These words in this post are just my own self doubt, my inner thoughts and my questioning of myself. I am struggling at the moment as you will see in Thursday’s post. Thank you for your friendship as it has much meaning to me right now.

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  30. Stay focused on the beauty of life…everyone deals with their despair in different ways.Remember to eat healthy take your vitamins…and stay positive and know you are loved.

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  31. I think it’s great that you are willing and able to share your cancer journey!

    I wasn’t blogging when I had my encounter, fortunately for others, but now friends think I avoid it, am ignoring it. Which seems difficult to do seeing as I had a double mastectomy – others will always judge and give unsolicited advice. We need to be true to ourselves and the cancer journey is ALL consuming of time and energy so you should blog about it!

    It’s healthy to have an outlet and blogging has the huge advantage that readers can chose what they spend time reading. To have your thoughts and emotions documented is great for others to see your journey thru your eyes and the more bloggers that do this then the broader spectrum others can refer to when/if they have their own encounter.

    There is life after cancer and early detection and treatment ensure many of us will die of old age as opposed to last century when people didn’t talk about it, thought it was contagious, etc. You will be given truck loads of good ‘advice’ – but be true to yourself and don’t get caught up in dodgy ‘remedies’ – do what feels right for YOU!

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    • Thank you for your support and understanding. When starting this blog, I had other things in mind and cancer was not even a word I spoke on a regular basis. But here it is in my life and I have a blog and I cannot just ignore it, so instead I deal with it and write about it. I hope all is well with you today with regards to your health and I appreciate your comment and hope your weekend is a happy one. 🙂

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  32. I was 23 years old when I was diagnosed with Anaplastic Large Lymphoma ALK+. I know exactly how you feel and trust me, it’s one hell of a journey. I’m 31 now and have myself a beautiful baby boy. Cancer has a way of breaking us apart and somehow almost saving us. You want to embrace life with every fiber of your being and you’re also scared like never before. I call myself a cancer warrior.. and you are one too. xo! Thank you for this blog post.

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    • Thank you Monica for sharing your story, I am very glad to hear you are a cancer survivor and all is well with you today. I do have my days of struggle and weakness and other days of triumph and strength. I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment – hope you have a happy day! 🙂

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  33. I am very touched by all you have to say. Back in 1994 I nursed my Husband who had “small Cell Cancer|” until he died December 15, 1994. I so wanted to talk to David about his Cancer but the Dr kept telling me “No”, I regret to this day that I did what the Dr said, especially as we had two young Boys. I admire your courage and please talk, talk, talk about it all. Take care of yourself, all the very best to you, Anna.

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    • Anna, I am very sorry about the loss of your husband and can only imagine what you went through. I hope today all is better for you and your sons. I appreciate you letting me talk about my cancer because it is a big deal for me as I never imagined I would be going through this – but I am. Again thank you for your comment – hope you have a happy day! 🙂

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    • Thanks for the kind words, all is good and taking one day at a time. I completed my chemo this past Friday and should know what is to come in the next couple of weeks. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment – always appreciated. Have a happy day. 🙂

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  35. I’ve been newly diagnosed with Leukemia and I too started a blog about my journey with cancer. This post really opened up some hidden feelings. Thank you for sharing. You’re not only helping you, but so many others more than you know. Be Blessed and you got this!

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  36. It is incredibly important to speak about cancer. Let’s face it, it’s an ugly topic. I hate it and it hurts so badly. I personally have had same benign cancers but cancer has impacted on my life when my sister went through it. No, scratch that, when my family went through it. I admire you and your beautiful resilience. Please keep posting and if you need anyone to talk to about it please do not hesitate to get in touch.

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  38. How brave and strong of you to share your story. I really respect this. It is because cancer affects everyone of us in one way or another that YOUR story is so important. It opens up dialogue and helps others to feel less alone. Thanks for sharing and wishing you continued strength and optimism. Sam 🙂

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