that word

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Earlier this year in March, I wrote a post ‘What Does Love Got To Do With It?‘, that included the following –

Again I ask; what does love got to do with it?

Love has much to do with family.  Love has everything to do with people we are meant to spend our lives with.

I love my parents and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my siblings and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my sons and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my husband and I tell him ‘I love you’.

Per psychcentral.com article ‘Is Love Losing its Meaning?’ –

This is a heavily debated topic. People often try to define love in terms of romantic euphoria; however, the word “love” generally is used so loosely that its meaning can become diluted. The truth is, “love” often is used to describe other emotions or strong feelings. Using the word “love” just saves us the trouble of having to figure out what we’re actually feeling. We can say we “love” anything, but what does love really mean to us?

In today’s post, I write the following –

I wrote the above post because I felt that word ‘love’ is used too much to describe feelings towards something.  Notice the word I used ‘something’ rather than ‘someone’.  I will be honest, I usually do not use that word ‘love’ toward someone else other than my family and spouse.

My post ‘Results‘, included a video of me discussing the results of my recent tests after chemotherapy and the announcement of my upcoming surgery.  I received many comments including from my good friend Jodi over at The Creative Life In Between.

Jodi’s comment –

Love you Terry!!! You look wonderful despite what you must be going through! Stay positive sweet friend. You have spread more love than you will ever know! xo

My response –

Thank you Jodi, interesting choice of words ‘Love you Terry’, I will need to write a post about that – I know it sounds confusing at the moment! You are special and I am extremely fortunate for friends such as yourself!

Jodi’s response –

Interesting? Just the truth.

I will repeat what I wrote above – I will be honest, I usually do not use that word ‘love’ toward someone else other than my family and spouse.

This recently changed; because I did use that word ‘love’ towards you the readers of my blog.  You never heard it, because I choose not to publish it.  What was I thinking when I spoke that word?  Where did that word come from?  Why did I not let you hear it?  The answers to the questions are; I was not thinking, just reacting – The heart – I felt awkward.

For my video posts, I usually record a video one time because I know what I want to say and the words flow freely and easily.  The video in my ‘Results‘ post took 6 recording attempts.  There were 3 attempts where other people walked near me and I stopped the recording.  1 recording was me walking and I felt it rushed.  Another video was good and that is the one included in the previously mentioned post.  My first recording I liked, even though there was a bit more surrounding noise than I prefer.   The main reason to not use this recording was because at the end I was not thinking and just reacted from the heart and after viewing the video, I felt awkward.

The ‘Results‘ post was published and the comments were made and Jodi used that word ‘love’.  I used that word first; but you never heard that word.

I believe I used that word first because I truly care about you and I truly feel you care about me.  I see now I can use that word ‘love’ for those I truly care about; not just my family and not just my spouse.

I can use that word ‘love’ towards friends as well.

Here is my first video I choose not to use – (FYI: if you want to just hear me speak that word, start the video around the 3:25 mark)

45 thoughts on “that word”

  3. I do feel the word ‘love’ is often used in a different text to ‘I love you’ or I love a person, it does tend to come out freely for anything. But, I do believe it can be said to a close friend or friends as well as a family member or spouse, so long as it is meant ! 🙂 I know you felt a bit uncomfortable saying it once you realized what you had said, but it was said, and it is okay, It’s a different kind of love, there is no betrayal my friend. This video was great and I know a lot of us bloggers love you too. 🙂
    Have a beautiful day 🙂

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    • Thanks Lynne for understanding, it was uncomfortable for me at the time and surprising! Anyway, very glad you and others understand! Thanks dear, my day is beautiful – the sun is out after we received record rainfall the past several days. 🙂

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  4. I never say the word “love” toward anybody…not even family. I will say that I “love” something…like collard greens or spinach
    I heard that phrase all of my life…from the same people who betrayed me over and over and over. THAT…is not love.
    I “love” that so many of you can say it and I “love” that so many of you mean it. It just makes me very uncomfortable. (I know…dark and twisty.)

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  7. “Love” is many things to people Terry-Being in-love is different than the love of family, spousal love, parental love, etc. To love a friend is to care about them, to be kind, thoughtful, generous, supportive and real. Nothing wrong with sharing that video with us. TO: Laurel my heartaches for you to have been betrayed by love and not feel that emotion. I love my family, hubs, kitty cat and care a great deal about people so, in that context we can love outside of that my friend. Sunshine Hugs.

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  8. I can understand the uncomfortableness of saying “I love you” to virtual strangers. However, the ‘slip’ you made was probably more heartfelt than you realized at the time. Well, of course it was — you wrote a blog post about it! It is obvious your blog followers are here for you–those you have met in person as well as those you haven’t. Sending a virtual hug your way.

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    • Thank you Joyce for understanding and relating to my video and post. I really caught myself off guard when I said that word in the video, so much so, I felt uncomfortable using that video. Thanks for reading, commenting and the virtual hug! Happy Wednesday. 🙂

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  10. In Greek philosophy there are two different types of love. There is Eros which, put simply, is the ‘in love’ love and there is Agape (pronounced Agapee)which is the platonic love that we have for others and if you want to get advanced there are various layers in between and binding the two and separating them. What you feel for Gary is Eros love. At some level what you feel for your family is Agape but there is Eros in there too. What you feel for your friends, those that you care about is pure Agape. This is an area I am fascinated by …. love is all around us and love is all we need and with love I send you hugs from over the sea, my very dear special friend.

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  14. You’re a brave, open, wonderful man. What a great point about all the different kinds of love. And I’m so glad that you posted your “results” video again because although I did see the original post and like it I didn’t leave a comment because I wasn’t sure how to write what I wanted to say.
    I wanted to say that I’m so happy that you and Gary have a wonderful cruise to go on and enjoy and Christmas to celebrate as a type of refuelling for the next part of your difficult health journey. And that although I’m perhaps not one of you’re closest friends from wp I still send you lots of love. Because as you say there’s all kinds of love and that’s what makes our world great.

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  16. Terry, I am looking over the comments to this post and smiling. So much love given and received can only make the world a richer and finer place for us all. This Wednesday will mark 52 weeks of the Senior Salon. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

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