I was different

In my post ‘Spending time away‘, I wrote the following –

While I am on one of the biggest ships, sailing the Atlantic Ocean visiting several Caribbean islands; my plan involves some days publishing a brand-new post and other days re-publishing an older post.  I wrote posts early in my blog that received little exposer and I consider them among others as interesting posts. I know I can reblog these posts, but decided instead to create a new post for each and give a different name to them.

I appreciate everyone taking the time to stop by, read and leave many wonderful comments.  My time away sailing and enjoying other activities will result in time offline and will prevent me from responding to the many wonderful comments I receive.  Therefore, I will be disabling the comments on many of my upcoming posts while spending time away.  There will be times I will have some time online and you will see me a little here and there on WP.  But, most of my time will be offline having fun, relaxing and enjoying the sun.

In today’s post, I write the following –

These words were originally published in June, 2015 –

From a young child and growing into a young adult, I was insecure with a very low self-esteem that eventually led me to tragic events and an eventual long road to a better life.  I think it is difficult for people to understand how a young child can be insecure about himself.  My growing up years should be full of good times with friends and family; playing sports, enjoying school and just having fun.  But there I am around 7 years old and already having feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.  Events in my short life are very visible to me and are affecting my self-image.

I have a twin sister and upon ending the 2nd grade, she went on to 3rd grade and I went back to 2nd grade.  For a child this young, I was devastated as I felt stupid and inferior to my twin sister.  I remember about the same time going to a special hospital to have tests run.  I think my parents wanted to find out if I had a learning disability.  I remember having a hearing test, a physical and some aptitude tests.  The one memory that stands out the most is that all around me were other children, many of them severely retarded.  Me as a young child seeing other children my age at the same hospital that are severely retarded, how am I supposed to feel?  I realized then at that very young and tender age I was different and something was wrong with me.