look back

As this year comes closer to an end, I look back at post excerpts from this past year –

Urologist, I need to see you!

My new doctor’s visit was last week and for my urine sample; I provided a sample that was extremely yellowish brown with the largest blood clot I have seen.  This scared me a little!

My Urologist: Dr. F. –

The visit with Dr. F. involved me discussing my symptoms and the result of a hospital visit involving a CT scan I had last month.  He indicated I most likely have a tumor on my bladder and it would need to be surgically removed. 

it’s not a dream

The cystoscopy took place yesterday and the results are I have bladder cancer. 

how I feel and if I can pee

Before I respond, let me update you on my condition.  The bladder tumor was removed and Dr. F. indicated it looks superficial, meaning on the surface of the bladder.

Good News outweighs Bad News; for now

The bad news is that the cancer can easily come back.  Every 3 months for the next couple of years, I will be visiting the urologist and having a scope performed to search for cancer that may grow back. 

The next appointment with Dr. F.

In the past month I have experienced increased burning during urination and in my bladder.  Yesterday I passed a blood clot.  Does this indicate the cancer has returned? 

Dr. F. Follow-up

Dr. F. indicated some cancer had returned and also I have quite a bit of scare tissue from my last surgery in February. 

in a pickle

Across the room I was in, is a small enclave that has desks and computers.  I could hear Dr. F’s. voice and I heard the words “Terry is in a pickle.” 

I will be there soon, Pensacola

At this point, I have no date for the next surgery.  You know the one; where my bladder is removed.  At this point in time, I am assuming I will be having a radical cystectomy.

The roadmap to remove cancer

Dr. P. informed me that the cancer had spread into my abdominal lymph nodes. 

Stage 4

Yesterday, I met with my new oncologist Dr. D. and we discussed my health history and the current condition regarding my cancer.  Upon reviewing my recent CT scan and the related information from Dr. P., she indicated to me my cancer is stage 4.

The number 12

Chemotherapy will begin this Thursday and continue for the next 12 weeks.  Today, I am having a ‘port’ inserted into my body. 

The lab experiment

These scans should help to determine if the nodules on my lungs are cancer or not.  The nodules are small, therefore cannot be biopsied and these scans should help with this determination. 

Bacon Grease

The immediate days following my 2nd chemo session were not too bad as I am handling the chemo better than expected and hope this trend continues.  The nausea is kept to a minimum, basically non-existent; to a great relieve for me.  I am fatigued the immediate days following my chemotherapy treatment requiring me to be less active than I would like to be.  

Where is me?

This cancer is beating me down right now and is taking a once happy active person to someone who is unrecognizable to me. 

those around me

Today I sit for hours taking in those around me.  Today I sit for hours viewing those near to me.  Today I sit for hours receiving chemotherapy amongst others; those around me.

6 weeks remaining

As the weeks continue and I arrive closer to my end date with chemotherapy, I look ahead to unknowns that soon will reveal themselves to me.  Uncertainties will soon be certainties.  Questions will be replaced with answers. 


Chemotherapy is kind to me in that I am not experiencing many other side-affects.  But the tiredness, it is hitting me hard; very hard. 

wait and see approach

More than likely the imaging tests will involve another PET Scan to help determine the possible outcomes including complete removal of the cancer in my body, the partially removal of cancer or no effect at all. 

the importance of today

Today I am receiving my last treatment of chemotherapy.

– the time has come

My CT Scan took place this past Tuesday and today I have an appointment with my Oncologist Dr. D. this morning to discuss the results.  The most recent CT Scan will be compared to the previous imaging tests that took place prior to my chemotherapy treatment. 

In today’s post –

Surgery to remove my bladder is a little more than 2 weeks away. 

Me (2)

41 thoughts on “look back

  1. Good luck with your surgery. Stage 4 is treatable, because I’ve been there myself and know. My cancer returned 2 years ago after a 7 year remission. I had my third major operation in December 2014, and so far so good (papillary thyroid cancer stage 4 in 2005).

    Liked by 5 people

  2. What a year! My goodness isn’t it a good thing you didn’t know what was ahead at the beginning? How strong, patient, determined, and brave that you were going to need to be. And yet now that you look back, wow, see how much you managed to fight through and how incredible you were! So, soldier on friend, you’ve got the next year and your up-coming surgery licked! Here’s to winning battles and all the best for 2017. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Terry, have a few problems with my computer, but i am here reading and watching your famous boogie, thank you for that ! You just keep that boogie up, lots of hugs from Spain thinking of you have a súper New Year you guys, and forward always forward >3 xx

    Liked by 1 person

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