Recovering & Discovering

As my body is recovering

My brain is discovering

Aches and pains are starting to subside

Relief and comfort are increasing in strength

image1

Image Provided by: More Sky

Prior to my surgery, as you know many of my posts were scheduled during my downtime

Within the past week, several of my posts were written well before my surgery

My body lets me know when I need movement, rest and time on WordPress

Trust me, I am listening to my body while it is recovering

 

As I am recovering, I am catching-up on past posts you have written

This time on WordPress allows my brain to continue to be discovering

image2

Image Provided by: Feedster

By end’s week, my hope is to be current on reading and responding

But let’s not forget, during this time my body dictates rest and time on WordPress

 

Because of my surgery, my mind is full of new topics and subjects to write about

The brain though discovering, is finding difficulty to translate them to words

My body is recovering and my brain is discovering

Movement of both is good and rest of both is good; time on WordPress is good

 

As my body is recovering

My brain is discovering

Aches and pains are starting to subside

Relief and comfort are increasing in strength

image3

Image Provided by: WallpapersCraft

Imagine You

A month ago in my post ‘Travel Vision‘, I wrote the following –

Since my initial posts about our travel adventure and the idea of meeting many of you; my life changed dramatically.  But the plans and the travel, though on hold now, they are still my vision for the future, especially now more so than ever.  Why?  Well, because you have supported me and helped me through a tough time in my life.  I want to thank you both in my writings here on WP and if possible in person when the travel adventure takes place.

In today’s post, I write the following –

I realize I would be unable to thank each one of you in person, but if it is possible to thank a few of you in person; I would be honored.  I remain optimistic this will occur someday, so in the meantime, I imagine you.  There are many of you that I know what you look like and have a clue to your personality.  Part of your personality is portrayed through your writings and posts.  But I feel no matter what we display; we do not know each other 100%, it is difficult for the true 100% of us to be here on our blogs.

Okay, so where am I going with this?

Well, back to my reason for this post – Imagine You

Back in November of last year after Thanksgiving: I was sitting on an airplane ready to fly back to Florida from Texas.  While the plane is parked at the gate, I sit in my chair waiting for others to board and take their seats.  Gary and I are lucky enough to sit on the first row of the plane, not first class mind you, but we are on the first row which means more leg room.  Across the aisle are 3 women, very different women who chat as if they are the best of friends for many years.  One of them has a familiar look because she reminds me of a fellow blogger friend who I will not mention by name here.  This fellow blogger friend does not have a picture of herself on her blog, but she has briefly displayed herself a couple of times: so, I have a glimpse of her in my mind.

As I sit there and listen to these women chat I imagine the one that has the familiar look is my fellow blogger friend.

There are other times I am in a public area imagining people around me are you.   These other people around me, these strangers to me I imagine are really friends, you my friends.

I imagine these strangers are people I know; people who I know a little about and people I know a lot about – I imagine these strangers are not strangers after all – they are friends – they are you.

I would like to meet every one of you in person someday.  Most likely that will not happen, so in the mean time I will continue to – Imagine You

(Here is an upbeat song for a Monday morning.  If I could I would be up dancing, but my recovery is not allowing that for now – soon, very soon, I will be!)

August 1972 – Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass

August 1972 – a song popular in this month – Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass

The four members of Looking Glass are alumni of Rutgers University, and the Spring 2009 Rutgers alumni magazine carried an article about this song and the band itself.

Interesting facts about Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) & Looking Glass

Released as the B-side of ‘Don’t It Make You Feel Good,’ the song was overlooked, as was the A-side, for that matter, until Harv Moore, a Washington DC disc jockey took it up as a personal cause.

The band, appearing on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand and at Carnegie Hall, never came close to matching ‘Brandy’s’ success.

There was a song called “Brandy” by an artist named Scott English that was popular around the same time in the UK. When Barry Manilow recorded it, he changed the title to “Mandy” to avoid confusion with this song.

“The band recorded the song seven times before they got it right. ‘Brandy’ – based on the name of (lead singer) Elliot Lurie’s high school sweetheart ‘Randy’ – tells the story of a musician torn between his love for a life at sea and his love for a barmaid.

‘Brandy’ was part of the sound track for the film Charlie’s Angels, for which band members and Peter Sweval’s estate each received a royalty check of $30K.

This information was provided by Songfacts.com

Argent Match

My category ‘Pictures & Stories’ are posts with me writing a fictional, creative short story about a picture.

argent-match

Argent Match –

The chief meteorologist did not predict it, and the general population was surprised and alarmed.  The forecast was for clouds and rain and possible thunderstorms.  No one saw it coming and that day would be different from all others.  That day the method of forecasting the weather would change.

It started as an ordinary day and the forecast was the usual for that time of the year.  History was to dictate the day and all evidence was present – there were no questions.  The forecast was in place and the expectations set.

The day started as usual and expectations were met and the clouds gather in a mass of unknown certainty.  Then the change started and the meteorologists and others started their different views for the green sky.  The change in color was swift and the anecdotal signs could not be dispelled.

The weather preceded with the usual flare and burst of electrical fierceness and the skies began the outpouring of hail beyond believe.  Shelter of the unknowing was sought and upon the conclusion of the widest day in weather history, the result of unexpectant was viewed.

The ground was covered with the rare occurrence and history was made.  The argent match was equal to none – the population was surprised and alarmed.

Roxy is excited

Hello everyone –

As many of you know I am very late on responding to comments this week – and for that I am sorry. I will try my best to catch-up this weekend.

I ended up staying in the hospital until yesterday – and now am resting comfortably at home.

Gary and I are excited for me to be home, but I think Roxy is the most excited.

Then it changed

Almost one year ago today my post ‘it’s not a dream‘, began with these words –

image1

Image Provided by: xn—-7sbab0dbk4a.xn--p1ai

I woke this morning my usual time between 4-5 AM with the same thoughts on my mind as I had when I laid my head down on the pillow the night before.  As I am drinking my coffee I think about these thoughts and I think to myself ‘Was that a dream?’  Then it occurs to me, ‘No it’s not a dream.’  The events of the day before really did occur.

Almost one year later in this post, I begin with the following words –

Many of you know what took place last year and what has taken place so far this very young year.

There are times I write my thoughts down or voice record them for future use in a post.  Sometimes these thoughts are then forgotten for a while until a later time when I want to write a post about them.  Some of these thoughts were documented when I was in a certain mood or having specific feelings about my life at a particular time.

The following is some of that documentation; it was sometime last year, before Stage 4, before chemotherapy, before surgery and before recovery –

image3

Image Provided by: shoppermagazine.es

I do not feel inspirational, I do not feel strong, I do not feel anything.  You my friends write comments with compliments.  I wake in the mornings to feel pain and I cry.  Not because of the cancer, not because I am dealing with stuff of the day.  I feel nobody understands, I know it is just me – I am not receiving the support and interest that I want.  It upsets me because I really do not feel anyone is really interested in me.  I know people are, and my family is, but I really do not feel they are – I feel like I am going through this alone.  Really, nobody is truly interested.  I get on the phone and when I do receive a phone call, I just say ‘It is all good, everything will be fine.’  ‘I have some aches and pains.’  But truly I do not want them to know what I really am feeling.  I do not sugarcoat it but do not want to give them all the information because I do not want to bring them down.  I do not feel inspirational, I am just dealing with anger, dealing with pain, dealing with tiredness.  I do not feel grateful or thankful or happy – I have no motivation.  I do not feel anything positive right now, everything right now is an effort – nothing is great – I just exist.

Today, in this post, I want to conclude with the following –

image3

Image Provided by: aelis.es

But then it changed.  Why?  Because the body became sicker and the illness more serious?

What changed is I received a great deal of support and encouragement from you.

I am currently recovering from my surgery and I continue to receive support and encouragement from you – just what the doctor ordered.

(Note: my responses to your comments will be delayed this week.  Please understand I continue to be in recovery mode and am moving slow.)

One More Try

There are countless posts on my blog written about life; the whys, the what’s and the reasons.

Why do we live?

Why do we suffer?

Why do we die?

What is the meaning of life?

What is it we need to do?

What is the meaning of death?

Reasons to live life to the fullest.

Reasons to stop and smell the roses.

Reasons to not fear death.

I have many questions, I always have, and along the way I feel I received some answers; but then again, more questions came from those answers.

Many times, I publish posts about certain topics and will include a link to other posts for those that might be interested in reading them.  My posts about life, the meaning of it, death, learning and other topics from my mind can be found in the category ‘Attitudes, Feelings and Views‘.

I always stated this blog is about me and my life; and many posts I have written mention my faults and weaknesses.  I am far from perfect and at one time in my life I thought I was supposed to be.  I overcame that thought and realized I just will put forth the effort to be a better person each day.  Each day I grow, sometimes just a little bit; but I grow.  Each day I move forward; towards being a better person and towards death.

Last month, I published a post ‘Faith‘, where I wrote about the impact of George Michael’s album had on me at a difficult time in my life several decades ago.  His album Faith was important to me at a time I needed something to hold on to.  During many times in my life, I have needed some sort of faith.  Depending on where I was in my live; what trials and tribulations were taking place or the demons I had around me – sometimes faith appeared when I least expected it.   Many times, faith was a message that came from someone else and over the course of my life, that message came in the form of a song.

A song from George Michael’s album Faith is titled One More Try and includes the following lyrics –

I’ve had enough of danger

And people on the streets

I’m looking out for angels

Just trying to find some peace

‘Cause teacher

There are things that I don’t want to learn

And the last one I had

Made me cry

This song One More Try is about a relationship with another person.  But could it also be about a relationship with God or ourselves?

There are many different teachers in my life who have taught many different lessons.

Times in my life god and believes taught me.

I have taught myself.

My mom, dad, husband and many others have taught me – including George Michael.

And though I have learned many things in life and improved myself and became a better person with each passing day, year and decade – I still have questions.

As I continue to ask the questions and continue to make mistakes and stumble, I am given one more try.

That teacher; whoever or whatever it is – continues to give me one more try.

(Note: my responses to your comments will be delayed this week.  Please understand I continue to be in recovery mode and am moving slow.)

PowerPort

In my wallet, I carry a card that reads ‘PowerPort’.  My PowerPort card also includes my name, my oncologist name, a date and where this PowerPort is located.

My PowerPort Patient Guide has the following –

Your Band PowerPort Implantable Port

Your Band PowerPort device is a small device (about the size of a quarter) used to carry medicine into the bloodstream.  It has one or two small basins that are sealed with a soft silicone top, called a septum.  The port is placed under the skin on your chest or arm.  The port connects to a small, soft tube called a catheter.  The catheter is placed inside one of the large central veins that take blood to your heart.  When a special needle is put into the septum, it creates “access” to your bloodstream.  Medicine and fluids can be given through the needle and blood samples can be withdrawn. 

Your port has three bumps on top of each septum.  The port with one septum is also shaped like a triangle.  These features help the nurse know that your port can receive power injections. 

My PowerPort is under my skin on my right side chest and was used for my chemotherapy treatment.  At my last visit with my Oncologist Dr. D., I asked her how long I would keep the PowerPort.  She responded I would keep it for at least a year.

My PowerPort is not just used for chemotherapy, it can also be used for IVs.  I expect my PowerPort will be used at some point during my recovery period after surgery.  Once the biopsy takes place of the organs that are removed, the possibility of chemotherapy treatment may be needed and once again my PowerPort will be used.

image2

And if I do not immediately have need for my PowerPort, I will have it for at least the next year, just in case.  Every 3 months, my PowerPort requires flushing; I will make a trip to the hospital and a quick and painless flush of the PowerPort and catheter will take place.

Back in September in my post ‘The lab experiment‘, I wrote the following –

As indicated in my post ‘Drain‘, I have a tube inserted in my back directly into my right kidney to help relieve the pain I have experience for quite some time now.  Originally it was thought this tube would be inserted for the full 12 weeks of chemotherapy, but because there was also a stent placed in my ureter, the tube may be removed in a couple of weeks.  The stent would remain in place until after chemotherapy is completed.

I feel like a lab experiment with the medical port inserted into my chest and a tube protruding from my back

In today’s post, I conclude with the following –

The tube in my back was removed several months ago, and the ureteral stent was removed last week.  The PowerPort will remain for future needs and serve as a daily reminder of all that took place before today.

Hallway Walking

I have a personal blog goal; that is to post every day and since the beginning of my blog, I have met this goal.  Knowing I was having a major surgery and the days following would be difficult for me, I scheduled my posts for this past week and disabled the comments.  I do not like to disable comments, because I certainly enjoy and look forward to your responses.  But, I knew ahead of time I would not be feeling well enough to take the time to properly respond to all the wonderful comments I receive.  I appreciate each of you allowing me to disable comments this past week.

A short video about how I am feeling and how my recovery is taking place.

Comments are enabled today and I will do my best to respond in a timely fashion.  I may be a little slow at responding, please be patient.

August 1972 – Garden Party by Rick Nelson

This past Monday, I had surgery.  Prior to the surgery, when I scheduled my posts for this week, I had no idea how my recovery would be going.  I felt I would need all week for some recovery before I would post about my status.  My plan is to update you on how I am feeling and the status of my recovery in the next few days.

For today,

August 1972 – a song popular in this month – Garden Party by Rick Nelson

As a child, Nelson starred with his parents on The Adventures Of Ozzie And Harriet and became a teen idol as a singer in the ’50s.

Interesting facts about Garden Party & Rick Nelson

On October 15, 1971, he played a “Rock & Roll Spectacular” show with fellow ’50s stars Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry and Bobby Rydell at Madison Square Garden in New York City. He was expected to play his hits, and at first he obliged, opening with “Be-Bop Baby” – not one of his more meaningful songs but a consistent crowd-pleaser. After delivering a few more hits and getting rousing ovations, he started playing newer material, including his country-rock cover of “Honky Tonk Women” from his yet-to-be-released album Rudy the Fifth. For that one, he moved to the piano, and when he finished the song and walked back to his guitar, he heard an unusual sound: booing.

This experience prompted the former teen idol to write “Garden Party,” which became his first US Top 10 hit since 1963’s “For You.”

Nelson was one of the biggest stars during the era 1957-1963, second only to Elvis Presley among American solo artists in terms of popularity and chart success. He was a teen idol, but unlike Elvis, he didn’t move much on stage.

In 1967, his wife Kristin Harmon gave birth to twin boys, Matthew and Gunnar, who later formed the group Nelson. When they scored a #1 hit with “(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection” in 1990, the Nelson clan became the only family with #1 hits spanning three generations: Ozzie Nelson (with his orchestra) had a #1 in 1935 with “And Then Some.”

He died in a plane crash in 1985 at age 45.

This information was provided by Songfacts.com

 

I will be in ICU for a couple of days and then the recovery begins.  

I appreciate everyone taking the time to stop by, read and leave many wonderful comments.  Due to my surgery and not knowing how I will be feeling; I am disabling the comments on my post today.  I need a few days of recovery and to grow accustom to the new me.  But know soon I will have comments enabled and I will be ready to respond to each one of them.