to whine some today

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I honestly try not to publish posts with me whining.

But, that is exactly what this post is about.

I am going to whine; but as I whine, I remind myself there are others who have it much worse than I.

What is ‘it’, you ask?

Anything in life that causes pain, suffering and agony.

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You may remember in my post ‘a walnut-sized gland‘,  I wrote about experiencing pain starting prior to my cruise in December that progressively became worse.  My Urologist Dr. P. thought it might be a prostate infection and prescribed antibiotics and pain medication.

My pain continues and at times has become worse.  If the prostate is infected, it certainly is taking its time to reduce in size and in turn reduced my pain.  Dr. P. wanted to see how I was managing and so I had a follow-up visit with him last week.  The visit also included Dr. P. removing the urethral stent from my body.  There are two methods to remove the ureteral stent; one involves a surgical method that is scheduled in advanced and the other involves a procedure that I have grown accustomed to but still do not look forward to.

I have lost count now, but there I am last week and once again having a medical instrument inserted into my penis.  If any man ever tells you they enjoy having medical instruments inserted into their penis, they are lying.  Okay, so while Dr. P. is inside of me with his medical instrument that has a camera, he takes the opportunity to look around inside my bladder.  He indicates the opening of the ureter from my kidney looks very good.  You may remember this opening was blocked due to my cancer and resulted in much pain which is the reason for the stent to begin with.

Dr. P. also found a new small tumor in my bladder.  This is not surprising because my bladder cancer has a very high recurrence percentage; this is the reason to remove the bladder.

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Okay, so the ureteral stent was removed and now the bladder and kidney are causing pain as well as the prostate.  I continue to take antibiotics and pain medication – lots of pain medication.

Here comes the whining – for weeks now I am experiencing severe pain in my whole abnormal area.  I feel discomfort when sitting, standing and laying.  My nights are mostly sleepless and because of the lack of sleep and the pain, my thinking and concentration is affected.  Strong pain medications as well as other prescriptions are helping me get through each day.

I have shed tears these past weeks, not because of just the pain; but more about my quality of life.  I currently have no quality of life, I experience pain and discomfort each day and find no joy in anything.

In less than 2 weeks, this current pain will be gone because I will no longer have a prostate or bladder.  I just needed to whine some today.

74 thoughts on “to whine some today”

  3. I’ve had the hated camera up my nose and down the back of my throat more times than I can remember – that’s not very agreeable either. Check if your local hospital has a department of pain medicine. I used to work in one, and many hospitals do have these departments. The consultants there are more experienced in managing people’s pain. They might be able to do something to help. You’ll need a GP referral though. Good luck.

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  6. You my friend, are so allowed to whine, and complain. You have earned that right ! I am so sorry you are still struggling with all this pain. You know I feel it is not fair, and all I want is for you to be well, experience no pain ever and just experience life again. I pray for a speedy recovery after your operation….hang in there as difficult as that may be. Hugs my friend. x

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  7. Terry, you are so upbeat and happy here almost all the time, I think you definitely deserve a chance to whine (more than a little and more than you’ve done here)! And you’re still seeing the bright side, that in a couple weeks the source of the pain will be gone. We’re all cheering you on and hoping everything goes well and you’re back to a high quality of life as soon as possible!

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  8. Terry, I am one of the most optimistic persons you’ll come across but let me tell you that I expected this. I do not like it for you! I do not like this post but I understand your need to vent. I will caution you that this surgery will not be a picnic nor the recovery process! My SIL is a Doctor remember. I worry about your comfort in an RV and not a condo somewhere close to the hospital. When and if you venture on that across USA travel (in the future) the RV is perfect. Now, however a confine area will work on your nerves which are about shot as it is. I speak to you as a friend. I have to be honest with you. Your life is different now and will be. None of us like having medical instruments shoved in us (have five babies why don’t you???). Onward and forward my man. Take the pills and relax when you can. Music, play some music. On your boogie last video I saw the discomfort on your face but chose not to comment. In fact the last several posts I have not commented. I am not going to tell you to be happy Joe right now. I, like all your followers want the absolute best for you now and later. I am sending you many Sunshine Hugs today.

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    • Bernadette, thank you for letting me vent and whine, it helps. You know me, I write what is taking place in my life – and this is what is taking place now. Thanks for reading and commenting – they are always welcomed here. 🙂

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  11. As everyone agrees, you certainly have earned the right to complain, I am glad you feel able to do so to us. Many of us know what intense intractable pain is like and how it drags you down no matter what you do, you are doing a great job of keeping it under wraps as much as is hmanly possible. As always, you have my best wishes and a gentle hug, 🤗

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  15. I wouldn’t be whining, I’d be bleating and squeaking and squealing and screaming. I am in awe of what you are putting up with so bravely and send you great big warm hugs to try and sooth you through your days and nights.

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  19. Oh Terry – you deserve some time to whine – you are going through so much and are so kind and encouraging to others! Better days are ahead. Whine all you want. Love you anyway!!!! ❤

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  20. Oh my gosh I am so sorry you have such pain that sounds excruciating, and to have such an invasive study ….oh i feel for you. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

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  24. You have every reason to whine, Terry. It has been a hard struggle for you, not helped with having so much pain. I wish you all the best for your forthcoming surgery and hope that it takes much of the pain away. K x

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  27. As a fellow member of the penis community my deepest sympathies! Feel free to whine, bitch, moan etc…….There are parts of the body that were never created with the thought of something being inserted in them. The penis has to rank at the top of the anti-insertion food chain!

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    • Oh Blue, thank you for your concern and support. I wish I could respond that I am feeling better – but I am not. I am in the process of trying to figure out what is going on. Thanks for taking the time to catch-up. I did not comment on your recent post, but know I support you and very much and want you to feel better soon.

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      • Terry, I am so sad to hear that you are still in such pain. Please know that I do know that you support me. We are all wishing you relief and a better quality of life VERY soon. And we want you to concentrate on getting through these next few weeks and months. We feel your support without words. What we really need is for YOU to feel our support! My heart wishes you peace and love and the tender loving care you need… and to be without this physical pain. There are not enough words… Lots and lots of gentle hugs to you!!!

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  29. As all my fellow bloggers agree on: you’ve got absolutely the right to whine! In fact, it would be very strange if you wouldn’t! Pain is always the center of our whole thinking and being when we feel it, there’s nothing much to stop it except meds which I’m grateful you’re getting and taking, Terry. My mom does need them too and she is in so called pain therapy. She doesn’t like the diminshment of the quality of her life those pills can cause, but not taking them would cause even more loss of it and depression of course too. Her therapist is specialized in the treatment of pain and though it took a while, found the right “cocktail” for her. It’s important that this kind of treatment is supervised by a specialist because self-medicamentation can do so much harm. Your oncologist will have sufficient knowledge of that matter of course but try and see if you can get an appointment with a pain therapist as well. Wish you a painfree and happy weekend, dear friend! 😄😚

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