I honestly try not to publish posts with me whining.
But, that is exactly what this post is about.
I am going to whine; but as I whine, I remind myself there are others who have it much worse than I.
What is ‘it’, you ask?
Anything in life that causes pain, suffering and agony.
You may remember in my post ‘a walnut-sized gland‘, I wrote about experiencing pain starting prior to my cruise in December that progressively became worse. My Urologist Dr. P. thought it might be a prostate infection and prescribed antibiotics and pain medication.
My pain continues and at times has become worse. If the prostate is infected, it certainly is taking its time to reduce in size and in turn reduced my pain. Dr. P. wanted to see how I was managing and so I had a follow-up visit with him last week. The visit also included Dr. P. removing the urethral stent from my body. There are two methods to remove the ureteral stent; one involves a surgical method that is scheduled in advanced and the other involves a procedure that I have grown accustomed to but still do not look forward to.
I have lost count now, but there I am last week and once again having a medical instrument inserted into my penis. If any man ever tells you they enjoy having medical instruments inserted into their penis, they are lying. Okay, so while Dr. P. is inside of me with his medical instrument that has a camera, he takes the opportunity to look around inside my bladder. He indicates the opening of the ureter from my kidney looks very good. You may remember this opening was blocked due to my cancer and resulted in much pain which is the reason for the stent to begin with.
Dr. P. also found a new small tumor in my bladder. This is not surprising because my bladder cancer has a very high recurrence percentage; this is the reason to remove the bladder.
Okay, so the ureteral stent was removed and now the bladder and kidney are causing pain as well as the prostate. I continue to take antibiotics and pain medication – lots of pain medication.
Here comes the whining – for weeks now I am experiencing severe pain in my whole abnormal area. I feel discomfort when sitting, standing and laying. My nights are mostly sleepless and because of the lack of sleep and the pain, my thinking and concentration is affected. Strong pain medications as well as other prescriptions are helping me get through each day.
I have shed tears these past weeks, not because of just the pain; but more about my quality of life. I currently have no quality of life, I experience pain and discomfort each day and find no joy in anything.
In less than 2 weeks, this current pain will be gone because I will no longer have a prostate or bladder. I just needed to whine some today.