Several days ago, in my post ‘the next 9 days‘, I wrote about having an appointment with my Oncologist Dr. D. last Friday. That appointment was to discuss the results of my MRI I had the previous day and the future plans regarding the current pain I am experiencing.
Before I proceed, let me fill you in on some details about my current health. I have Stage 4 bladder cancer and have an upcoming major surgery planned and past posts have me explaining the significance of my cancer and my upcoming surgery.
The significance of my cancer is the survival rate after 5 years is slim. The significance of my surgery is to remove the source of the cancer because it has a very high percentage rate of coming back. In fact, it already has – even after 12 weeks of chemotherapy last year, there is already a new tumor in my bladder.
Before I proceed, let me fill you in on some details about Gary. He retired from the United States Army as a Lieutenant Colonel after serving 22 years. As a Medevac helicopter pilot, he has commanded others during times of crises and he also has held positions of Comptroller overseeing military hospitals.
Gary’s military commander experiences inspire him to have a strong personality and at times he can be a little dynamic. This background also aides him in taking control of situations and being prepared as much as possible. With his comptroller experience; he likes numbers and working with those numbers in various equations always end with a precise exact result.
Gary has been by my side each day, going with me to doctor visits and he sees the pain I have experienced.
Last Friday the appointment with Dr. D. had Gary asking questions during a time of crisis, looking at various equations and wanting a precise exact result.
Dr. D. is unable to provide some answers and a precise exact result Gary wants. She did however provide her view based on her expertise about my cancer and my future.
The appointment last Friday had Dr. D. indicating the cancer may have spread to my nerves based on the information I had provided her concerning my recent pain. My cancer has already spread to my abdominal lymph-nodes and there is a new tumor in my bladder. The cancer could be elsewhere now, but too small to detect.
Based on my current pain and the significance and type of my cancer, the future certainly holds some uncertainties.
Last Friday, we are still in Dr. D.’s main area where the patient rooms are located and before leaving I had to make a restroom stop. Upon my return, Dr. D. has her hand on Gary’s shoulder comforting him as tears flow from his eyes.
He wants to command a crisis that is not in his control and he wants precise exact results for an equation that has too many variables.
He wants me to be well, happy and out of pain.