We are not far along into the new year and I hope all is well with each one of you.
Today has many unknowns for me as it did a year ago at this time.
Last year had me diagnosed with superficial bladder cancer, followed by 2 surgeries and then the upgrade to Stage 4 Bladder Cancer, followed by 12 weeks of chemotherapy.
In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will have a major surgery to continue the journey that started more than a year ago.
Once the surgery takes place, there will be more to come that currently is unknown.
Once the surgery takes place, there will be more to come that is certain.
Let me be honest – I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.
I will no longer have control of my urination and I will no longer produce sperm and possibly no longer have an erection.
Let me be honest, again, I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.
I have no problems no longer producing sperm and I have no problems with no longer having an erection.
However, it does bother me some to no longer have control of my urination. It seems odd that this would bother me, but it does. I took for granted things in my life, one of them is having control of my urination. Think about this for a minute; as men grow older, the whole producing of sperm and lack of erection can happen. And there are pills for that – not that I am interested – but they are available. But never had I thought about not having control of my urination.
In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will no longer have control of my urination.
Let me be honest, one more time, I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.
In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will have a stoma or also referred to as a urostomy, an ileal conduit or urinary diversion.
I will have a pouch or bag on the outside of my body to collect my urine. I will no longer have control of my urination.
This bothers me some – but I will accept it and I will become accustomed to it and I will live with it.
Soon the unknowns will become knowns and there will be more to come that is certain.
What I do know today; is I will remain grateful.
For after all that has taken place last year and all that is to come next week and the months to follow; I still have many things to be grateful for.
I have a spouse who is my caregiver, who is always here for me.
I have a home, a place to live, a place to shelter in.
I have a family, both near and far, who support me.
And I have you my friends, who are never more than a comment away with support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.
I remain grateful.