tick away

A year ago in my post ‘Predict our day of death‘, I wrote the following –

On deathclock.com there is ‘The Death Clock’ and the website states –

Welcome to the Death Clock(TM), the Internet’s friendly reminder that life is slipping away… second by second. Like the hourglass of the Net, the Death Clock will remind you just how short life is.

So I proceeded to enter the information, clicked the ‘Check Your Death Clock’ button and received the following –

Your Personal Day of Death is….Saturday, June 10, 2028

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Image Provided by: http://www.deathclock.com

Okay, by this ‘Death Clock’ I will die in 13 years.

September of last year in my post ‘I have been there, done that‘, I wrote the following –

From cancer.net –

This year, an estimated 76,960 adults (58,950 men and 18,010 women) will be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the United States. Among men, bladder cancer is the fourth most common cancer. It is estimated that 16,390 deaths (11,820 men and 4,570 women) from this disease will occur this year.

From cancer.org –

About half of all bladder cancers are first found while the cancer is still confined to the inner layer of the bladder wall. (These are called non-invasive or in situ cancers.) About 1 in 3 bladder cancers have invaded into deeper layers but are still only in the bladder. In most of the remaining cases, the cancer has spread to nearby tissues or lymph nodes outside the bladder. Rarely (in about 4% of cases), it has spread to distant parts of the body.

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Image Provided by: of.sucrap.com

My cancer is Stage 4 bladder cancer and I know the statistics.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Will I Die Soon?

The statistics for Stage 4 bladder cancer is I have a 14% to 24% 5-year survival prognosis.  I keep myself informed because this is my body, my cancer and my life and I want to know all the good and bad about what is taking place with me.  Do I sit here and wait for death and not live in the meantime?  No, I want to live as much as I can before that date on the calendar is here.  But I am restricted now on living life to the fullest as I continue my recovery.  The upcoming weeks will reveal what may come next in the subsequent months to follow.

Will I Die Soon?

‘The Death Clock’ indicates I will die in 11 years and my bladder cancer stage and prognosis indicates my chances are slim to live after the next 5 years.

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Image Provided by: http://www.pinterest.com

Whether it be 5 years or 11 years, I need to live in the here and now.  I still have things to learn and more growing needs to take place.  That person I want to be should be now – I do not need to wait until it is too late.  Some of you may not understand this; but it makes perfect sense to me.

I have no idea when my time on this earth is going to end – but it continues to tick away.

55 thoughts on “tick away

  1. That is such a timely reminder … your coolheaded statement that whether you have 11 years or 5 or less or more life is to be lived not just drifted through in a sort of torpid existence needs to be hugged close to every heart. Whatever life you have left I wish it to be a full life. The fullest, most fulfilling and on occasions jolly fun life it can possibly be. That is my wish for you

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you dear Osyth, I appreciate you and your support. As soon as I am fully recovered from the surgery, there is more living to do, so much more. I am hoping you are finding some sunshine in your part of the world and days filled with happiness and joy. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • We are quite spoiled for sunshine and with temps nudging the mid 60s quite forgetting that I am in February and in the gateway to the Alps!! So much living for us both to do and although I had a crashing blues set in yesterday, your post served to remind me to stop being a blue-baby and put on the rose-tints and the smile and get on with it. Which I am!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Who knows when? It will be when it will be, and that applies to every person out there, no matter what… I have always believed in just being the best person one can be, and if one is able to get out there and live a fuller life, brilliant.
    Everyday you strive to be that better person, even with everything you have gone through, and are going through. You are kind, considerate, think of your loved ones, and your friends constantly. You are a man in a million. Enjoy each day my friend. Hugs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Lynne, since I am feeling better with each passing day, I do find myself wanting to get out and live life to the fullest. Time will tell on what takes place in the coming months, but I do feel a sense of optimism. I do strive to be the best I can each and everyday. Thanks for your comment and support, you are a true friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, the clock moves forward for all of us. Some are just more aware of the ticking. Enjoy each day and make sure it is complete when you are done because none of us knows what tomorrow shall bring. That is for all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Terry, the Buddhist say make a practice of greeting death everyday as a reminder that this might be your last day. Your post is filled with truth – go out and live every day as though it is your last one. As the Bible says, we do not know the day or the hour….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Last week an eighteen wheeler missed me by inches and had to swerve into the side of the road. I could see it happening but I had nowhere to go. I guess we never know when the moment will come but I hope you do have at least 13 years.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You are thinking about death too often. I wrote this a while back.

    Dear Death

    I am writing to officially complain about your constant lurking, particularly in the corners of my mind, heart and soul.

    The first 20 years of my life were fine, you left me pretty much alone, but the last 31 years were different; I was always aware of your presence. You have had me in fear, that you could take away my life and send me hurling into a celestial abyss anytime you wanted to. You have had me in fear, that you would take my husband away or any other person I love. You left me scared and I started to wonder about my own demise as well. Not so much about the “when” but I started to fear about how you would get me. I came a few times close to meet you, but you backed off. Did I scare you?

    You are putting up quite a show and you use special effects like wars and diseases, along with random weird acts by crazy people to scare me and you have succeeded so far.

    I am writing this to inform you that I have canceled my subscription to your mindless propaganda, please remove my name from your mailing list. Let me explain why:

    Death, you are an impostor, you are a fraud. You have paralyzed me, you have paralyzed an entire species. I am sorry to inform you, that it is not longer working. I feared you for too long…not anymore. I finally realized that you are just a part of life and there is nothing to fear. I live under life’s jurisdiction, which states plainly and in bold letters, that one day, life as I know it, will end. It will happen at an undisclosed time and at an undisclosed location. There are no secrets involved; life has been upfront with all of us right from the start. It might be tomorrow or in 30 years from today.

    As far as life not letting us in on when we leave this earth, this is merely for entertainment purposes and is not the least bit malicious. After all, how exciting is a good story, when you know how it ends?

    My eyes are wide open now, I do not longer fear you. I am not longer paralyzed, I walk straight with my head held high. I will not longer sour my life with thoughts about you; you are going to be none existing for me.

    You deserve to be pelted with rotten tomatoes in the town square and left in the hot sun till you shrivel to death yourself.

    Until we meet

    Ladybug~!

    c/c Life
    https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2015/09/03/dear-death/

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Always in the “here and now”…..your amazing….your outlook on life gives me strength….your positive, down to earth acceptance of what is happening and how you are handling life should be heard by all…..you are a wonderful man….Gary’s a lucky man!!! I know that no matter what you will have a wonderful life and live it kicking your heals up!!! None of us know how much time we have left on this earth, so I am all for the “here and now” living…..keep up the great job my friend…..xxxxxxxxxxxxkat

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, it makes sense, and I really admire your attitude and logic. However, I have to admit that I am not as comfortable with my death OR YOUR DEATH.
    Guess I still have some work to do on this subject.
    One thing that I do know is that I hope and am glad to hear that you’re progressing so well in your recovery each day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Terry, when they informed me that my father was “terminal,” I told them that we were all terminal. When a baby is born, the baby is already terminal because ultimately, we’ll all have to leave this world, and nobody knows the “when” of it, regardless of any clocks or statistics. You have the right attitude – set your mind on recovery and life, rather than ticking clocks!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I wouldn’t focus on that, and I personally won’t be asking anyone (Dr’s) for when, how long, etc., I don’t want to know. I have made a pact with myself to fight, be strong, be and keep myself positive through all of my treatments. No it won’t be easy someday’s I am certain but I am going to put my best foot forward to keep myself going on with things I enjoy. I will add and perhaps I shouldn’t….but I do live in a right to die state. California was the fifth state to join the other four states. If things were really, really, really bad….no hope and the quality of my life became next to nothing…I would consider that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I educate myself with all knowledge related to my cancer, so that I can make informed decisions. I do not focus on death, but it certainly is part of life – so while I am here, I will live and enjoy it and be the best person I can be. Thanks Sandra, I appreciate you reading and commenting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, and I need to educate myself with my own cancer too. Look things up as they come to my attention and read all that I can. I intend to make the very best of this interruption with my health and I am certain with many adjustments in nutrition, exercise, no more goodies because I have a sweet tooth. Have a beautiful day, the sun is out here in my neck of the woods and even so it is still a bit chilly…it will be a great day. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Statistics are just that…………only statistics. Many people defy the odds and I hope you will be one of them. One never knows. You can be a young, healthy individual and get killed in an accident tomorrow, as just happened to my brother-in-law this morning……Age and health really don’t seem to matter, as I’ve lived through so many of my young, loved ones deaths…………………….keep up your positive attitude. It’s opened my eyes today, especially. I’m chronically ill with many diagnoses. Permanently disabled. I let all of that keep me from doing much because of the pain and other agonizing symptoms. Most of my life is spent in bed except for the many appointments I have each week. I’d probably never even bother getting up if it weren’t for all the doctor appointments every week. This blog post and the death of my brother-in-law this morning is a real reminder of just how short life really is. I best get with the program and start slowly…………….and live!!!!! Before it’s too late! Kick that cancer’s ass!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind comment – I am very sorry to learn about your brother-in-law and the reality of your life. As my cancer continues to spread and become worse, I remind myself to live one day at a time. Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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