The new confidence

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A week ago in my post ‘what comes next…‘, I wrote the following –

The appointment with Dr. W. was to discuss some issues with pain I am experiencing in my lower back.  I had this pain back prior to surgery and thought it was associated with all the other pain I was experiencing immediately prior to surgery.  The pain is constant and is at its worse in the middle of the night to the point, I am unable to move or get out of bed.  We do not believe the pain is associated to the surgery and could be caused from arthritis, or some other issue.  I hope to resolve this pain soon.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Another week completed and another weekend is upon us.

This past week I had no doctor appointments or other medical related activities.  The weather here in Pensacola was perfect this week and looks to be the same this coming weekend.

The recovery after surgery continues with my daily walks and other activities.

Not only am I recovering physically but also psychologically with regards to the new me.  Remember in recent posts ‘I struggle with the new me‘ and ‘Freakshows’, I wrote about my struggles with having a urostomy bag on the outside of my body.  As the weeks pass I am learning to cope and accept this new reality.  The initial uncertainty and apprehension are replaced with confidence and comfortableness.

The new confidence with the new me is allowing me to get out a little more.  Past weeks had me hesitant in going anywhere I did not have to go because of my fear of ‘leakage’ from what is now an extension of my body – my urostomy bag.  With different manufacture products tested by me; there were some trials and errors that took place and incidents that were frustrating and embarrassing.  Since surgery, a learning process has taken place for both Gary and myself with regards to the supplies needed and process of maintaining and replacing this new extension – my urostomy bag.

Beside my daily walks this past week, I did attempt to go to the gym for an extremely easy light workout; nothing strenuous at all.  Going to the gym gets me out into a different environment, which I need after weeks of being cooped up in the RV.  This also provides me with an opportunity to build my confidence level with regards to the new me.

The lower back pain I experience in the middle of the night has subsided some, but still persists in waking me in the middle of the night.  This nightly waking is then followed with me needing a change of position; therefore I sleep the rest of the night on a recliner.

In a couple of weeks I have follow-up appointments with my Urologist and Oncologist.  I mentioned in my post ‘what comes next…‘ the possibility of a clinical trial medication for Stage 4 Bladder Cancer and also the possibility of a second Oncologist opinion concerning my further treatment.

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57 thoughts on “The new confidence”

  6. Sounds like your getting better in all ways needed….bummer about the pain, hope its just healing going on inside of you, I am happy that you are getting out and starting to feel comfortable with you…..it gets easier, I promise….your inspiration getting out to the gym….I need to get my but back to one….keep it up my friend…..xxxkat

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  9. So glad to hear about your new confidence 🙂 Things are improving my friend, and I could not be happier for you. Pity about that pain still, and you having to sleep half the night in the recliner…hopefully that part sorts itself out soon, and you manage a good solid nights sleep in bed ! Enjoy the weekend. Have a good one. 🙂 x

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  24. Terry, I am just catching myself up with your goings on. I have been a little wrapped up in my own health issues, unfortunately. But you have been on my mind. I feel for you getting used to the urostomy bag. I went through it with my Dad and my sister now has one as well from a different type of cancer that ended up affecting the bladder. I am so glad you are coming to terms with it. I smile at the term “the new me.” That is such a good attitude. It is what you make it and you seem to be taking it the right way, if by one step at a time.

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    • Thanks Lydia, for the catching-up, and I am sorry to learn you are having some health issues. I know there are many others who have a urostomy bag and there is a time for adjustment. I appreciate you stopping by and commenting. 🙂

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