My Purpose in Life?

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20160810_182204-2At times I will write a post and not finish it and leave it alone until a later date.  This post I wrote almost a year ago, but because of changes in my life it seemed no longer relevant.  Lives can change dramatically in a short period of time and along with the changes so too can our thinking, our believes and attitudes.

A year ago, I had a minor surgery to remove a tumor from my bladder.  At that time, it seemed harmless and nothing significant would come from it.  I was wrong and this past year’s events I never imagined would take place.

The following words I wrote almost a year ago, when my life was healthier and I was looking forward to a future filled with adventure and fun –

Many times I have asked myself ‘What is my purpose in life?’

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If you have been reading about me for quite a while, you know about my early struggles in life with major depression to the point of attempted suicide.  It took over a decade to overcome this depression that wanted to kill me.  My purpose at that time was to overcome it and that I did.

I continue with struggles today, but certainly not to the extent when I was a much younger man – but I am far from perfect and not the man I want to be – I still struggle – I am a work in progress.

Again today I ask the question ‘What is my purpose in life?’

A little more than a year ago, Gary and I were in Mexico exploring a possible location to live.  While there an event took place that upon our return home, I documented.

These are the words I documented –

How can I be responsible for supporting and helping someone when I have my own struggles?  Several weeks ago in Mexico, Gary and I were with expats.  I watched Gary as he told a story – and I see his mannerisms, his facial expressions and the words he used to tell the story – I saw his mom.  It reminded me that maybe he will be like his mom, telling the same old stories, having the same struggles every day.  He may exhibit the same emotions his mom goes through – anger, frustration, nice, rude, impatient, not understanding.  It has been difficult for me spending time with his mom due to my lack of patience.  I have learned some patience as a result of being around her and that is a good thing.  I have more to learn, I want to be there for Gary, I want to be caring, compassionate and understanding.  These are areas I fall short in, but feel I can I gain more of these traits.  Maybe this is my purpose in life to learn these traits: understanding, listening and being there for Gary.  I believe my life is about struggling and learning and being the best person I can be. 

image2Gary’s mom has dementia and she struggles daily and sometimes I see her personality in Gary.

Back to today, both Gary and my life has changed a great deal this past year.  I no longer think about what my purpose is in life.  I do believe part of Gary’s purpose may be to help me during my difficult time.  And who knows, maybe someday when I am better it will be my turn to help Gary during his difficult time.

45 thoughts on “My Purpose in Life?”

  5. There is no crystal ball my friend 🙂 Just be you. Just be real to yourself. Be the best person you can be, and keep trying, as I know you always are. You are a human being, we cannot always be perfect, but that is okay, just keep trying.
    Everyday you are living your life’s purpose. Just be you, 🙂 x

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  10. I link to a link to a link brought me here.
    Off topic: Which are of Mexico were you looking at and what did you think? I’m strongly considering moving there but don’t know where to start. I had planned an exploratory trip, by car, to “Rocky Point” but was talked out of it for safety reasons (single, older, white, blonde, blue eyed, woman, in a nice car, with CA plates… all my immigrant coworkers said, “you’ll be robbed, by police, FOR SURE!” I could handle a loss of money but not feeling vulnerable.)

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  16. I think by the comments that you indeed have a purpose in life, which may even change quite a few more times in the years to come. What I like about you Terry is your positive and healthy attitude towards life in general, even if it can be a struggle at times. XOXOXO

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    • Thank you Kathryn, many times I sell myself short in that I felt I needed to have a purpose that was significant. I am realizing each day, me being the best I can be and I as you indicate my positive and healthy attitude is a purpose in its self. Thanks for your comments, I truly appreciate them. Happy Tuesday. 🙂

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  18. Wow that was a question I asked myself for many, many years…I believe the first time the thought crossed my crazy mind was back in grade school…I just couldn’t get a handle on why, and what for I was put on this earth…..I still have many questions to my existence….???? I have been able to let that question slide to the side of my mind finally, I believe now that I will know the whys and how comes one day….I can look back across my life and see if not for me, my beautiful children would not be walking on this earth, and if not for me, old men and women I cared for over the years would not have touched my life and made me a better person and I would of not been there for them in there last days, to hold there hands and be present in there life’s…such a hard question, and to think as young children it was on of the most asked….what are you going to be when you grow up? What do you want to do to add to society ??? I heard my self asking my children the same question that haunted me for years and quickly stopped…..my purpose in life is to be your friend and you mine…..be here for my husband and you for Gary….I could go on and on and on….but we really do have a purpose in life…..I believe that and I hope you do to…..dancing in the moon beams is one of my bigger purposes on life….LOL xxxxxkat

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  19. finding the purpose of life can be difficult, challenging and sometimes painful but as this post shown everything happen for a reason. Sometimes steal has to be hammer hundred of times to become a sword.

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