I have had a restless night, not much sleep because I have thoughts swirling in my head.
It is a while now since I really have had one of these nights. Since surgery, I am taking medications to help me sleep because I continue to have pains associated with my surgery and recovery. I also have pains not associated to my surgery and recovery that make it difficult at times to find a comfortable position to sleep.
But on this particular night, it is those thoughts swirling in my head.
I am unsure how long it will be by the time I publish this post. I may have upset someone and I may have upset you and I may have upset myself. I make no apologies to no one, including myself.
This blog has always and will always be about me and my life and for that I make no apologies. I am who I am and have changed for the better in many ways over the years. I continue to change for the better, though at times the changes come slow; to me at times slower than what my life will provide me here on this earth.
When I die, I will not be a perfect person; I hope to be a person that at least tried to be a better person. I strive every single day to be a better person. Some days I succeed and many days I fail; some days I fail miserably.
My point is I try and I do it my way, because I know me better than anyone else knows me.
I have been told at times by people that they do not understand me. I at times do not understand me either, but I still know me better than anyone else.
When creating this blog, it was a way for me to write about me and my life.
My life in words for I hope one day those important to me would read. I have no idea if they will read it or not – I don’t know.
This brings me to those thoughts swirling in my head tonight, this restless night and me writing this post at 2:16 in the morning.
I don’t really like to be rude; I can be though, and have been times in my life. I can be rude and have been rude to people I know and to strangers alike. My personality is complex and at times people do not understand me. This has already been identified.
When writing and publishing posts, I attempt to write in a way where I do not come across as rude and I try to consider other’s feelings. So please do not take this the wrong way – I am being honest here.
When I write posts about me, the true very personal me, I ask for no advise. I write the true personal me because it is important for me to do so. I have come to appreciate support and encouragement here and the friendships I have made are invaluable.
Now, again at 2:16 in the morning, I am writing the true personal me. It was a little while ago; and that week was tough and that ‘I don’t know’ was tough and therefore I was rude because I did not ask for advice. I was writing the true personal me because it is important for me to do so.