I have in the past had dreams where I woke up and voice recorded what I remember about the dream. A couple of months ago, I had one of those dreams and though I did not remember a great deal of detail about the dream, I went ahead and voice recorded what I did remember. It was an important dream, because it involved all of my family and I felt it had significance.
What was is about and what is its significance?
I was in a large room and all my family were there, everyone. There were my sons and my parents and my siblings. There also were my aunts, uncles and cousins, nieces and nephews. And one other person was there; no longer considered family, but she was there – my ex-wife.
I am approaching each one of them and grasping their hands and hugging them and having a brief chat. I have no recall what these discussions were about, but I felt it was the last time I was going to see them. This whole event appeared to everyone including me as not a big deal, it was not exciting nor somber; there was no laughter and there were no tears – it just was the family being together.
Amongst all the family members in line, also standing there is my oldest son, and I bypassed him; I felt I had nothing to say to him.
You may remember back in March I wrote a post ‘ESTRANGED‘, and I concluded with the following –
One of my sons calls on a regular basis – thank you son. The other two sons do not call me and in the past I would call them, but now no longer do I call.
These 2 sons I saw at Thanksgiving and they were aware of my surgery. These 2 sons I have not heard from since my surgery. These 2 sons I have not spoken with since Thanksgiving.
Are we estranged?
Again, I just do not understand why?
In the past, I had asked myself, what did I do or not do to deserve the absence from my life; the no communication and the appearance of not caring?
Again, I refuse to blame myself any longer.
Again, I refuse to cry anymore tears.
In today’s post, I conclude with the following –
Since this dream took place, I have spoken with both of these sons and will write about in a future post. But in this dream, why did I not acknowledge the oldest son? And what was this dream about?
Is the dream about me saying my goodbyes before I die?
Is the dream about me saying “Thank You” for your thoughts and prayers that have now brought me to being healthy once again?
I decided to not put more thought into interpreting this dream; I do not think there is a need to.
Perhaps at the time of this dream, I was still blaming myself and angry, especially at my oldest son. My relationship is different with him than the other two and our differences and similarities go back a long way.
I do believe my sons truly care about me. It maybe they just do not know how to display it.