This past Sunday, I had a bad day
My pain this past weekend was at its greatest and many pain pills were taken
I was tired, down, a little depressed and cried a lot
It started this past Saturday
This past Sunday, I had a bad day

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This past Sunday –
Someone said that when they take their last breath, which they indicated would be many years from now; they would be happy because they accomplished something
A couple became married
I watched as young women and men performed their military PT (Physical Training) in the morning from the window of my RV
I observed people enjoying life and having fun
This past Sunday, I had a bad day

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I was asked the other day by someone, you seem unhappy
I responded I am unhappy
I am unhappy because I have Stage 4 Bladder Cancer
I am unhappy because I am going through chemotherapy
I am unhappy because I have a bag attached to the side of my body
I am unhappy because I have lost 30 pounds of body weight
I am unhappy because I have major chronic pain
I am unhappy because I wake in the mornings with pain
I am unhappy because I go to bed at night with pain
I am unhappy because I am not enjoying life
I am unhappy because Gary is not enjoying life
I am unhappy because I cannot plan for the future
I am unhappy because I wait and wait for a time to take tests that will determine my future
I am unhappy because many other people are enjoying life
I many times in posts, comments and videos use the phrase ‘Happy Day’

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I was not having a happy day
This past Sunday, I had a bad day
I know what chronic pain is, 24 hours a day, you can’t sleep all you think about is pain. I make myself a good cocktail “Bourbon and liquid Morphine”, I wear a Morphine patch as well and the doc tells me “take as many painkillers as you need”?, you know the answer “nothing helps, the pain breaks through”. I lost Spring, I so look forward to it, hearing people in their gardens working the smell of grass and, its awful. Some good must come out of it all, thinking of you and praying for you, God Bless, love Anna.
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Anna, thanks for understanding, although I wish you did not have to endure what pain can do to us. I do hope the Facet Injections I receive in the upcoming weeks will help. But in the mean time, more pain pills and watching other people enjoy their lives without pain. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment – it is always appreciated. 🙂
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This saddens me so much to know that you are going through all this emotional and physical pain. I just want to give you a hug. How are you feeling today? Hugs my friend. x
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I am much better today mainly because I have increased the pain medications. I hate taking pills and I hope the Facet Injections I am receiving in the next several weeks will help to reduce the amount of pain pills. Thank you Lynne for your concern and hugs, I appreciate you very much. 🙂
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I too, hope they help. Glad you are a little better today. Thinking of you 🙂 x
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Thanks for the video Terry. Thanks for sharing. Gentle hugs for both you and Gary.
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You are welcome, thank you Paula for your support. Hope you are doing okay today and I wish all good things for you. 🙂
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So sorry to hear you are having a bad day. And you have many reasons to feel unhappy. I can’t imagine your pain but it comes through in your writing. I wish writing abut the pain would help to ease it. I’ll start sending virtual ladles.
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Thank you Peggy for your support and understanding. I also wish writing about it would ease it, but it does not – just more pain pills. Thanks for the virtual ladles, as they will help – just don’t expect to see one on my forehead, okay? 🙂
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You’re right, ladles don’t belong on foreheads. Maybe you could balance one on your knee. 🙂
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I will try to capture a picture – I may need to practice. 🙂
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I’m sorry Terry. I really hope today is better.
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I am better today Paula, but that is because I have increased the pain pills. I hope in the next several weeks the Facet Injections will help and I can reduce the pain pills I take – they make me feel very drowsy. I appreciate you very much and hope your week is going good. 🙂
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I am so sorry my dear friend! You are so wonderful, inspiring and brave! We are all here for you! much love xoxoxo
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Thank you Lynn, I always appreciate your support and for stopping by each day to leave me a nice comment. 🙂
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xxxx
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Oh Terry. It isn’t fair and it is not right. It is not something I can magic away. It is not something anyone can magic away. You need a break from it. But then again that implies that you would have to go back to it. You need and end to it. Until that comes it is unsurprising that you had a bad day. What is surprising is that you have days when you do see the light in the tunnel, you do see the wood through the trees. That is because you are, whether you like it or not, an amazing man. A man I am so proud of. A man I feel helpless to support as I would like to. So, as ever, all I can do is send you virtual sunshine and warmth from the inky depths of my heart. And the wish that you will have better and better days ahead.
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Thank you Osyth for always bringing me a smile. I do try to have good days, but sometimes the pain wins and I am just worn out. I am hoping in the next several weeks when I receive the Facet Injections, it will help reduce the pain and also reduce the amount of pain pills. I appreciate you and your always wonderful comments. 🙂
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I’m sorry. There will be bad days, but the good thing? There will also be amazing good days. Just remember love and light surrounds you all the time. 🙂
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You are right Embeecee and honestly I do have more good days vs bad days. Thanks for your support and friendship! 🙂
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As honest as ever, Terry
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Thank you Derrick, I always appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Happy day to you my friend. 🙂
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I’m so sorry you are having such bad days. I hope things take a turn for the better right soon.
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I do have hope in several weeks when I receive the Facet Injections into my spine, that will help a great deal in reducing my pain. In the mean time, I increased my pain pills that helps with the pain, but also makes me more drowsy. Thanks Lorrie, have a great week. 🙂
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And you’re entitled and we completely understand. Lots of love and warm sunshine to hoping that tomorrow will be better for you.
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Thank you Tkieetha for your understanding and support. I always have hope for better tomorrows. Happy Wednesday to you my friend. 🙂
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You too my friend!
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I know you’re unhappy, probably miserable and rightly so. You listed twelve reasons but I’m sure there are a lot more other related ones too.It sucks, more than a post or any words can possibly convey. It’s not fair, right, or deserving no matter how you look at it or whatever your beliefs. And as you mentioned you’re patience is being constantly pulled beyond any normal expectation.I hear you and feel your pain as much as is possible without actually also being in your situation. And I applaud you every day regardless if your “Have a happy day” sentiments are just a civility on any given day or not.Amanda
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Thank you Amanda, for understating and supporting me. Most days I manage just fine, not living life with quality – that has not happen for quite some time, but I do manage with what has been given to me. The pain is better today because I recently increased my pain medication – I hate taking pills, but that is what I have to do right now. I appreciate you stopping by today to read and leave a comment – hope all is well with you today. 🙂
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Gentle Hugs to you my friend, and to Gary too. 💕💕
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Thank you very much Alexis, Gary and I both appreciate you. 🙂
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You’r telling it like it is! And, it stinks! Yet, know You are Loved. Sending You and your family heart felt loving thoughts and energy. Portia
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Thank you Portia, yes – that is what my blog is about, me telling it like it is. I am better today, with hope of finding relieve very soon. I appreciate you stopping by to comment today. 🙂
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Terry, I cry with and for you. I’m glad your pain is more controlled today (from what I read in the comments). I echo the phrase: know that you are loved. Hugs your way!
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Thank you Tanya for your kind comment and know I appreciate your support. I am feeling better today and my hope is in several weeks to be feeling much better with regards to having less pain. Thank you also for the hugs, I just received them! 🙂
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Sorry to read this. Thinking of you and hoping your pain is relieved by now. X
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I appreciate you stopping by to read and leave a kind comment Beth. Hope you are having a great week. 🙂
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I’m so sorry to hear that you had a very tough day this weekend, Terry! I cannot imagine the amount of pain, sadness, or despair you must be feeling. It truly saddens me to read this. I pray that you find strength and some bit of happiness along the way. One thing that should make you happy is having Gary by your side. Love is a great gift that we sometimes have to remind ourselves about when life throws us a ton of distractible hardships. I really hope that your pain and everything else gets better. Always in my prayers 😊
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What I experienced Sunday is not always the days I have. Most days I can tolerate enough and do things to try to enjoy life. I did in the past day have to increase my pain medication and that has helped. Thank you Shanika for your prayers of support – I truly appreciate them. I hope your week is going well for you. 🙂
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Wow! Ok. I’m happy to hear that you’re doing better. I do hope that your increased pain meds help going forward! You’re so welcome! I hope that you enjoy the rest of your week Terry! My week is going well so far! 😊
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So very sorry you having to deal with so much pain.
It makes me sad.
But then I think, you are dealing with it, somehow you are getting through: you are strong and brave, and you share your frustrations, so that we can try and support you.
Sending much love and hugs to you and Gary xxx
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Thank you for your support and kind words. I do wake everyday and deal with it the best I can – some days are better than others. Gary and I both appreciate your hugs. 🙂
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So sorry about your bad day! We all have them….. but… you really are going through a lot. If it helps – – remember….
What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.
Author: Dr. Robert L. Lynn
HUGS from Mars, Jodi
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Thank you Jodi for the wonderful reminders. I appreciate you and your friendship. 🙂
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I am so sorry. It doesn’t mean anything, I know, but all the same. I hope the good days will out number the painful ones!
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Leaving a kind comment, it means a great deal – I appreciate you taking the time today. 🙂
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I hate intense pain and I cringe at what you are dealing with. Thank you for your honest outpouring. I suspect we all feel helpless and are all sending you whatever strength we are able to through our thoughts and prayers. I wish I was there to in person provide more support.
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Thank you David, I certainly appreciate yours and other’s support. I have many wonderful friends here, and I am extremely grateful.
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So sorry you aren’t finding relief Terry. May tomorrow be a bit less that sucky. Gentle hugs. 💛
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Thank you Val, I appreciate your encouraging words. Have a happy day my friend. 🙂
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Thank goodness you have your blogging friends to talk to. While we cannot take away the pain and the bad days, we are the ears that hear your words and the heart that feels for you. No, we cannot fully understand all you are going through. No one can. But we are here. Now, that is really something!
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I agree Jennie, I have a wonderful outlet here to write about my experience, feelings and emotions on my journey. I am very fortunate to have many friends here who support and encourage me. I truly appreciate you.
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You are the heart and soul of many bloggers!
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So sorry for your pain….praying for you and Gary.
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Thank you, I appreciate your prayers and for taking the time to read and comment. Hope you have a happy day. 🙂
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I am a day late, but it stinks to hear this. None of us here want you to have bad days. Thinking of you!
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Thank you Sarah, no problem being late. I am much better today. I increased my pain medication this week and feeling better, though it makes me drowsy. 🙂
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I think I would take the tiredness over the pain – but hopefully the procedure you’re getting next week will help, as well as the neurologist.
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I am holding on to hope – thanks Sarah. 🙂
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I am also a day late having had a bad days but nothing on your scale. I am sending good thoughts.
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No problem being late Kerry, I am feeling much better today as you know from today’s post. Thanks dear for catching up on my posts, I appreciate you very much. 🙂
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Mwah!
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Terry, sending best wishes and thoughts to you and Gary during this time. It certainly is a challenging period to go through but here’s hoping those injections will not only reduce the need for painkillers but find you become as discomfort-free as possible. I know what it is like to have pain everyday but it doesn’t begin to compare to everything you are taking on head-on. You inspire so many of us through your courage…and your honesty.
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Thanks Bruce for your kind comment, I certainly appreciate the support I receive here. I too hope the injections help me become pain free. I have to wait a couple of more weeks before I have my appointment – so until then the pain medications continue. Thanks again Bruce, hope everything is well with you. 🙂
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I am so sorry to hear that you continue to suffer. I am sure “chronic pain” doesn’t begin to describe it. It sounds like you are experiencing “chronic torture.” Terry, I really hope that you can find relief. For all of our medical advances, you would think pain management would be so much further. My heart goes out to you! Hugs to you and Gary!!!
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The pain some days is much worse than others and certainly prevents me from doing many activities. There are days I do venture out and Gary and I do some exploring, but I always take pain medications with me. I dislike taking the pills and hope in the next couple of weeks to find some relieve. Thanks Blue, I hope all is well with you.
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I´m so, so sorry, Terry! I keep hoping that there will be a cancellation soon so you can have your injections much earlier!! I wish I could kick your pain in the butt and send it somewhere where it belongs!
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No cancellations yet, so I will wait and until then I increased my pain meditations and other resources to help to reduce the pain. Thanks for caring and as always I appreciate you catching up on my posts. 🙂
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I just hope the medications will relieve you and help you to see it through until you get the injections. Do you know how long those will work? It would be good to arrange another appointment already for when they stop working…
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I am told it is different for different people. Some work for months and others for years.
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I very much hope it will be the latter for you!! But even months will be fine if you don´t have to swallow additional pills 🙂
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DITTO all the above post to you….just add a huge, soft, gentle HUG attached…..xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX jat
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Thank you very much dear kat – I always appreciate your hugs! 🙂
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XXXX heres a few more….LOL
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Sending you a little prayer.
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Thank you, prayers are always welcomed. I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment – have a happy day! 🙂
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I hope you get better soon. Everybody feels pain, but not all pains are created equal. Sometimes I wonder if pain and suffering is what gives joy its meaning.
I hope joy comes to you soon. x
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Thank you for your kind comment. I too hope I get better soon. I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Happy Friday! 🙂
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One thing for sure. It doesn’t matter what the root cause of the CP is. You know it when you got it and I’m trying to build support group for coping, ideas, listen, etc.
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I appreciate your support and for taking the time to read and comment. I hope you have a happy day! 🙂
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I watched a show with my son the other Day called Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. The lesson was to express how you’re feeling and it’s okay to say you’re angry or having a bad day. I’m sorry yours is more than a bad day. I hope things are better for you. Prayers coming your way. ❤️
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Thank you Sharon for reading and accepting my feelings. I have much taking place at the moment, with my emotions at high levels. Hope all is well with you, I appreciate you stopping by today. 🙂
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