In last Friday’s post ‘for as long as possible‘, I wrote the following –
It is Friday and today is the day I am looking for pain relief – today is the day I receive my Superior Hypogastric Nerve Block procedure. I certainly will update you next week with how I feel and the results of this procedure.
Next Monday I start my radiation treatments; another potential for pain relief. I have no expectations concerning the radiation, except I want something good to come from it.
In today’s post, I write the following –
Friday as I am being prepared for the procedure upon taking with the doctor, I find out this procedure will not be a simulation. The simulation would only last a couple of days and if it worked, then I would go back and have the actual procedure for the long term relief. This procedure should provide long term relief which may be a couple of weeks or a couple of months.
The procedure takes place and immediately I do not feel any difference. Considering they gave me pain medication during the procedure, I thought I would be feeling no pain at all. The pain was just as significant as before the procedure; Gary and I felt very disappointed. Gary sees what I go through each day and he is frustrated the doctors cannot find the source of the pain. He asks the doctor who performed the procedure to contact my Oncologist Dr. L. to see if there are any other tests that can be performed – there must be something they have missed for me to be feeling this amount of pain. Dr. L indicates there are no other tests and the radiation treatment that starts on Monday should help with reducing the pain.
It is Friday evening and as usual my pain is great and I am feeling little to no difference in my pain level several hours after the procedure was done. I take my usual amount of evening pills and prepare myself for another rough night. The nightly routine is Gary sleeps in the bed and I sleep on the recliner. I am unable to lie flat in the bed without feeling significate pain. The recliner provides me some relief because I can position myself lightly upright, which takes pressure off my lower back pain.
I am sitting in the recliner preparing myself for another night’s sleep and Gary is sitting in a chair next to me and I begin to cry. He places his hand on mine and I tell him, I feel like I am dying and my body is starting to shut down and I will not be around much longer.
I say to him ‘I have failed you.’