Phone Calls

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A few weeks ago in my post ‘Larger Lymph Nodes‘, I wrote about having a scan and the results indicating the chemotherapy was not working.  The results also indicated the cancer in some Lymph Nodes had grown and previous Lymph Nodes that were cancer free now have cancer.

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Prior to receiving these results, Gary and I had a discussion.  He said to me that based on my pain situation and the results of the recent scan both indicate bad news; he wanted to make some phone calls to my family.  I have no issues with this because Gary has always had some form of contact with my family since my health situation started.  My family certainly considers Gary as part of my family and truly respect and appreciate the role he is playing as a caretaker to me.

(note: since the very beginning of my journey with my cancer, all procedures and tests and treatments; all resulted in bad news.  I have not once received good news in the past 1 ½ years.  NOT ONCE)

So, the news of my cancer spreading and growing was received on a Friday; and Saturday Gary made a couple of calls.

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Image Provided by: Kyrene Foundation

He called my twin sister and he called my stepmom.  Why call these two family members?

My stepmom is the caretaker of my dad who has Parkinson’s Disease.  My dad’s health has deteriorated a great deal in the past couple of years.  At times, it is very difficult to understand his speech and because of the medications he is on; he sleeps a lot.  My stepmom has been a part of the family for over 30 years and is in contact with my siblings.  Gary knew in talking with her, she in turn would talk with my siblings.

My twin sister, being the only female sibling, has a close relationship with my mom – they live in the same city.  Gary did not want to call my mom directly as he was concerned about upsetting her, plus a sensitive matter was to be discussed and Gary felt it coming from her daughter, my twin sister would be better received from mom.

What was discussed in these phone calls?

Gary was honest and sincere and direct.  He was caring and sensitive and calm.

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He called these 2 people to let them know the truth concerning my current health situation.  He told them I am in a great deal of pain to the point I am using a cane to help me walk.  He told them I have lost almost 40 lbs. and my appetite is not always the best.  He told them the results of the latest scan.  He told them what is to come with regards to my future treatment and the slim possibility of positive results.  He told them more than likely we would not make it to Texas for Thanksgiving.  He told them he felt it important that they (my family) consider making plans to visit me here in Florida.

My future health situation is unknown and honestly I have nothing positive to look forward to with regards to future treatments – there are no guarantees.

64 thoughts on “Phone Calls”

  1. This makes me very sad Terry. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you have a fabulous support group here with your blogging friends, and no matter what, we’re all praying and pulling for you and still hoping for the best possible outcome.

    Liked by 3 people

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    • Yes, I certainly have a wonderful support group of friends here. Honestly Paula, if it were not for you and everyone else providing prayers and thoughts and everything else positive, I do not know if I would he as strong as I am. Thank you Paula for your support and I am hoping for the best possible outcome as well. 🙂

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  5. Those were tough calls that Gary made and he made them with compassion and love. When I read the lines ‘I have not had one positive outcome. Not one’ I find myself not just terribly sad but also bitterly angry that life is dealing you such a horrible deck. I continue to hope that you will turn the corner, I continue to send you my gentlest hugs and I continue to send you all my strength. I’m calling you on, Terry – do you hear that? That sound coming over the ocean – that is not a seabird, Terry, it’s me calling you on. I am not singing because I sing like a strangled goat so I’m just murmuring for fear of startling you. And startling is never good.

    Liked by 4 people

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    • Osyth, I know you are one of my biggest supporters and yes, I hear you. Your comments always make me smile and your support is always strong. How fortunate am I to have you and others here to help me along the way. 🙂

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  8. Oh, my sweet friend, this makes me so sad, and really brought tears to my eyes. You mentioned that in your entire cancer journey, you had not received any good news, not once! This is not fair. I wish you were not suffering like this, and I feel so useless. Gary is a good man, he made those necessary phone-calls, and I am pleased that now your family have a clear update on your health at this time. With all that is going on, it is not surprising you are feeling as you are. I feel useless, and all I can do is send you hugs, love and prayers. Feel better, my friend. x

    Liked by 3 people

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    • Gary is a great guy – how fortunate am I? I am hoping in the future at some point in time, I receive good news – I continue to remain optimistic. Lynne, you reading my posts everyday and commenting everyday are very useful – I smile when I see you and you bring me strength – truly you do. 🙂

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  9. I feel for you. Not a pleasant task to undertake for Gary and Gary should also be admired for supporting you as I know in the caretaker role which I have been twice it can be difficult for the caretaker as well as he/she is going through this as well. Kudos to Gary as well. Hopefully by sending peace and comfort that you may experience these as well. ❤

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  10. Thank you for your bravery, openness, and honesty. I’m so sorry that there’s nothing positive to look forward to. I wish I could at least articulate something more appropriate than I’m sorry. Amanda

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    • Amanda, there is still always some hope to look forward to. I have future treatments still, that may have positive results. I stay strong and I appreciate your comment. 🙂

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  12. Terry. Has anyone talked to you about hospice care? I know it scares a lot of people to talk about but it is a field I work in and it is NOT a death sentence. It can give you a fuller LIFE during the journey you are on. They can provide a lot of support physically and emotionally and spiritually and help Gary and help your pain. Just something to consider. Some people use it and feel better and don’t need it any more. Others use it for many months. It is something to think about. Sending lots of love. Xo

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Actually Jodi, recently we have talked about hospice care. And as you indicated, both Gary and I assumed it was a death sentence, but we now know other wise. We will be looking into hospice care and other areas of support that Moffitt Cancer Center offers. Thank you dear for the suggestion and love. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      • I’m glad you were educated appropriately about the benefits it can provide! Oh sweet Terry and Gary – please take advantage of the support you can receive. My heart is with you both! ❤

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  14. It’s times like this I realise that language is both powerful and impotent. Your words touch me — all of us — so deeply, yet we are all struggling to articulate the feelings we have. We want to comfort, support, vent our rage at the complete unfairness of your situation. It sounds like in Gary you have found the embodiment of love and friendship and goodness that you deserve. Thinking of you and sending hugs my friend.

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    • I am fortunate to have Gary in my life as he has a loving heart. Your words are kind and I appreciate them Su, your support is important to me – which I thank you for. 🙂

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  16. Oh, Terry! Gary is just wonderful; he knew who to call and just what to say. Have you heard back from your family? I feel for you and send you my very best wishes. Words cannot paint the picture of my heart to yours. I hope you can find some pain relief!

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  17. Thank goodness for Gary and all the wonderful support he gives you! I’m so sad too hearing about all this, but I’m so glad you have a wonderful network of friends to help you weather through all this. We are here for you Terry! As always, sending my love and hugs. ❤

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    • Thank you Franck for your thoughts and compassion. And medicinal cannabis is legal in my state of Florida, but those in charge (state government) are trying to figure out the best way to dispense it. I continue to be strong, thank you my friend for stopping by today. I hope you have a great weekend. 🙂

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  20. My heart goes out to you and Gary. It seems weird to say, but you are a lucky man to have such a wonderful partner by your side.
    With love, there is always hope.
    Sending heaing light your way Terry. 💛

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  21. I am so, so thankful that you have found this wonderful man, Terry! Gary really is one in a million! Those calls must have been so tough, for both of you. I can not say how terribly sad I am for you, not to have received at least one good news is so hurtful for the soul – it´s just beyond words really how sad I am. I wish I could just hug you ❤

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  22. I wished wordpress had a different system other than “like” to click on to let you know that I am here and listening, and reading…I am so happy that you have Gary, he is such a loving, caring and compassionate man….more love and strength sending your way….xxXXxx

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  23. Gary is truly a rock. I can only imagine what both of you are going through and really feel for your family (your mother especially). I have been reading your blog for so long now that I feel I know you. I can’t think of anything to say other than I hope something helps the pain. K x

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. Dang Terry! Thank God for Gary. Is your family going? I can’t imagine what you are going through, but God sent Gary. He is a blessing. I pray that your pain gets better and you get some good news soon.

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