Why Not?

When I decided to start blogging, I had no idea what I was doing or where it would lead me.  I just started writing my early life memories, really in hopes my sons would read it someday.  I still have plans to give them this site where they can read about me and my life – but I am not quite ready yet.  So, the writing of blog posts began with those early life memories and few other subjects – and then cancer decided to be a part of my life.  This cancer has become my cancer; it belongs to me and no one else and does what it wants to my body.


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In my post ‘no answers’, I wrote about finally asking the questions.  You know; the ‘why’ questions.

“Why?”, “Why me?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”

I received many supportive, encouraging and beneficial comments.  I feel very grateful of the many wonderful friends I have here on WP, truly I do.

One of those friends Su, responded with the following comment –

As humans we have this overwhelming need to make sense of the world, but the awful reality I think, is that often there is no sense. No reason or logic, and sometimes absolutely no justice — or you would not be going through all this. I think in the end we need to look not for reasons but for useful beliefs — whatever gets us through. Sending love and hugs to you and Gary.

I responded with the following –

Yes, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am getting to that point now – not trying to find the reasons, but what are the useful beliefs and benefits. Thanks Su for an inspiring comment, you are a true friend.

Comments from other friends suggested I not ask “Why?”, but instead ask “Why Not?”

Wow, this got me thinking about, well – everything.

My mind has always believed everything happens for a reason – both good and bad.  Now, with my cancer and the extreme pain I am experiencing, my emotions are asking the “Why?” questions.

And your comments my friends bring me back to thinking about what my mind believes and not what my emotions are asking.

Everything happens for a reason – both good and bad.  So, Why not?

20170416_194313It may be there is something I can learn from this?  My cancer and my extreme pain is a tough lesson to learn something from.  They are both beating me down, draining my energy and trying to break my spirit.  It is difficult, but again I change my question to; Why not?

What am I learning from this horrible experience that is changing my views?  Why not use it to benefit me?

I find myself talking to ‘God’ or the ‘Higher Power’ or the ‘Supreme Being’ more.  I have not spoken or reached out to any of these in a very long time.

I am displaying to Gary more gratitude.  We have been together for over a decade and I took things for granted.  I no longer do this.  Gary, my caretaker is very important to me and I display more gratitude.  I say, ‘Thank you’ more and I let him know I appreciate him and would not be able to do this alone.  And more so than ever I say, ‘I love you’ and follow it with a kiss.

There is a ‘God’ or ‘Higher Power’ or ‘Supreme Being’; there is Gary and Su; there are all of you my friends, my supporters, my cheerleaders and my encouragers.

So, ‘Why not?’

47 thoughts on “Why Not?

  1. Dear Terry, I was taught that we could question His reasons, but not really understand them. It breaks my heart to see you suffering,and I feel for you just as much as for some of my near and dear people who are going through the same ordeal now. One of the beliefs we hold is that prayers and blessings of others certainly help, but plea of those afflicted is most effective. You are so blessed with having Gary by your side, and I am sure he knows how grateful you are, whether you express it or not.
    Sending prayers and blessings your way – have a peaceful Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There was a time, i held a question same as yours. I am not a devout follower nor being catholic about it. Yes i gave in and surrendered everything to him, in him, with him. After everything, his timing was the greatest that happened in my life. I share your sentiment. And yes, you are right “why not?”. In his great timing, may his mercy be upon your joys and sorrows. Never give up your mission in life, bro. Enjoy your day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sarah, I think there is something good that comes from something bad. I am using the good that comes from this bad as a way to cope with what it taking place. It helps. Thanks for always stopping by. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have read your post a couple times, and I do get what you are saying, and I get the ‘why not’ part, but I do not understand why you have to suffer to this extent. This for me is huge, and hopefully one day I will understand properly and accept. Thinking of you my friend. 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I often think that there is no why or why not – it just is. Life isn’t fair or unfair – it just is. We, as your friends, would love this cancer to stop or at least relieve the pain but all we can do is offer our support and light candles that probably have no power other than to demonstrate love and affection. My belief in God comes and goes but prayer just seems to make us all feel better. It is our privilege to share this difficult journey with you and we learn more about ourselves and you, too. K x

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Whether there is an answer from whoever or whether there is none it is the WAY that you deal with such a dramatic turn of fortunes that defines you as a person. You have chosen to question why and now to give yourself, and us, some of your answers – that you are more in touch spiritually than you have been for many years and that you are more appreciative of your husband and all he does for you. That may not answer the question why but it certainly gives weight to why not. Rudyard Kipling’s greatest of poems ‘If’ seems to shout loud to me as I read your wisdom (and it IS wisdom). If you don’t remember it, here’s a reminder and remember, that is how I am thinking of you just http://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poems_if.htm 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Osyth for the link,certainly an inspiring poem. Your words always touch me in a profound way, your friendship is special and your concern for me is touching and well received. I always appreciate your comments, your words of wisdom and the little humor to top it off. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Living without answers is not easy, but it can be a beginning to open our hearts and appreciate the love and light within each and every one of us.
    You have touched my heart Terry with sharing your journey and your pain. Thank you 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val, thank you for your kind words. If sharing my life with others is a benefit for them, I am humbled, as I really do not consider myself of significance. Thank you for your friendship and support. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t know if there is a reason for this pain you are enduring. It doesn’t make sense to me. But I do know it has brought us all so much closer. That makes me sad though that you must suffer for it. You are teaching us love and compassion on so many levels. I know I will never forget you as long as either of us lives and I will be forever grateful to you for so much you have done for me and given to me. Simple things like when you loved my red Boat painting and then made a sweet video about it. Your kind words daily. Your dancing video blogs. Your smile. Your tears. Your fears. Your joys. You are truly a good kind man and a blessing to any who know and love you. Hugs and love from mars. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

  8. There is a lesson to be learned if everything we experience, we just have to open up and embrace it. The lesson isn’t always just for us. They are here to touch all our lives. Sometimes the lessons are for now, sometimes not. Embrace the lesson. Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Terry I am so touched that my comment was meaningful to you. And more importantly I am glad that you are finding different questions to ask and ways of answering them that are meaningful. You inspire me so much in the ways you deal with and talk about this journey you have been given. Hugs and love and Kiwi sunshine to you my friend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love this, unless you have been through Cancer it’s impossible to explain how it changes you, completely. Nothing is left the same so for sure, why not! Keep asking why and why not. You are inspiring to us all.

    Liked by 1 person

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