That Decision

In my post ‘Months not Years‘, I wrote the following –

Following my hospital stay, I had a visit with my Oncologist Dr. L. to discuss my options.  One option was to do nothing and the other option was immunotherapy.


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Concerning immunotherapy; any type of positive results is only about 15% – meaning 15% of participants will receive some type of response.  The response would be the slowing down of the progression of cancer to other parts of the body and/or stopping or slowing down the growth of the cancer cells.

So, I asked Dr. L. the question; how many years would my life be extended, if there were a positive result?  His response was that we are talking about months, not years.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Tecentriq is the immunotherapy drug that I am receiving.  In 2 days, I will receive my 2nd immunotherapy treatment.  The current treatment plan involves me receiving immunotherapy through IV every 3 weeks.  Upon the completion of my 3rd treatment, a scan will be performed to help determine the effectiveness on my treatment.


The results of that scan may not provide enough information to determine if the treatment is working or not.  Another treatment round may be needed to determine the effectiveness – meaning 4 additional treatments then another round of scans.  If no determination is made in late August, then October will be the next time to make a possible decision.

What am I referring to when I write decision?

Since my first clue there was something wrong with me back on September 4, 2015; much has taken place.  This journey started with a discoloration in my urine.  Friends who have followed me for a while, know what has taken place since then.  Through all the tests, procedures, surgeries, treatments and appointments, one thing has stayed consistent.

The one thing that has stayed consistent, will play a major role in that decision.

That one thing that stayed consistent is my cancer has been aggressive in spreading.  That decision will be whether to proceed with treatments or let the cancer take its course.

I will be honest; I have always been honest here on my blog and at times blunt and direct.  In a couple of months, 20170416_194313 (2)I will be making that decision. Currently my days are filled with pain, and little activity due to my health issues limiting many things I can do.  Many days I remain positive and hold on to a glimmer of hope this immunotherapy treatment will respond with positive results.   Then there are a few days; I am ready to stop everything and let the cancer take over and seal my fate.

Currently the positive days outnumber the negative days.  As the days come and go, the date for that decision nears.

57 thoughts on “That Decision

  1. I am glad to hear the positive days are outnumbering the negative ones. With all you’re going through, it can’t be easy to find the positive in life.

    Also, I’m sure I am with everyone else here who has the same hope as you, that this new treatment will result in a positive outcome. As always, you and Gary are in our thoughts and prayers here – and lots of positive thoughts for you as we start another week!

    Liked by 4 people

    • You are correct Sarah, some days it is difficult to find the good. Those days I question why I am continuing the fight. But, there are many reasons to continue to fight, and so that is what I do, I appreciate your prayers and positive thoughts, but most of all your friendship. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You and only you know how you feel. You and only you can make that decision and you and only you will make it. When the time is right. For now I am glad that the positive combatant days are outnumbering the roll over and give up days. I am grateful for Gary being at your side and caring for you with unwavering love. I am holding you in my thoughts, I am sending my own positive boosters and I respect your right to be the only person who knows how it feels to be you, who knows how it feels for your body to be under attack and who can make the decisions when the time comes. 🤗

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you Osyth for your positive boosters. I am extremely fortunate to have Gary in my life by my side and helping me. I would have given up a long time ago if it were not for him – he is at the top of the list for reasons I continue to fight and stay positive. Thank you for your friendship and support. I hope all is well with you and you are happy. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Glad to hear the good days still outnumber the bad. When it is time to make your decision your heart will know. Until that time we continue to hold you in the light praying those good days last. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Terry, when the decision time comes, you’ll make it, but for now, I am so glad to hear that you have decided to start immunotherapy treatments. Hopefully, you will be among those 15% for whom it is effective. I am also glad to hear that positive outweighs negative in your attitude. Staying positive is the most important treatment you can administer to yourself.
    Keep positive, keep fighting, and keep smiling! Sending prayers and blessings your way,

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I really hope that the immunotherapy gives you some relief from the endless pain and slows the cancer. You are so brave with all the decisions you have made and the effort to stay positive. Sending healing thoughts and a big hug. Love K xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh Terry, I am so pleased to hear that the positive days are outnumbering the negative days. I hope and pray it continues. I can only imagine though, with all that is transpiring that your emotions are like a roller coaster. It cannot be easy and I wish there was something that I could do to help. Thinking of you always. Love and Hugs 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So glad to know the good still outweigh the bad. You will know if and when any decisions need made and what you want to do. It is your life and your journey. Live it all the best you can and in the way you want buddy. Sending lots of love. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am so glad that the good days are still out-numbering the bad, and I hope that the immunotherapy produces positive and some relief for you. You are such a brave and honest soul Terry; I know that you will make the best decision for you when the time comes. And you will always have love and support.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Terry, you are a positive soul, and that in itself is powerful. I hope the immunotherapy is successful. You will always have my love and support. Like you, I am the positive cheerleader. It gives everyone a better life. Much love and God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You’ve been on this relentless roller coaster for almost two years. So wonderful that you and Gary have one another and that your days have more ups than downs. Sending all the hugs and spoons you can imagine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Blue, what a wonderful compliment to start my day with. I always look forward to seeing you here and keep you in my thoughts as well. Have a happy week my friend. 🙂


    • Thank you Kathryn for your support. You and others here on WP bring me strength that I would not find anywhere else. I appreciate you stopping to read and comment – you taking the time for me – it means a great deal to me. Happy Tuesday! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. You know best when it´s time to make that decision, Terry. But I´m so glad that you don´t have to make it now, and that the good days still overweigh the bad ones. All my best wishes for the immunotherapy treatment, Terry! I´m sure your positive attitude will help the drugs to help you live a better life! Many gentle hugs and sunshine to you (and ice cream if it´s hot 😉 )! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Moon Beams my friend…..moon beams….I am sad that this nasty disease choose you…..the ole saying it doesn’t pick and choose, rich, poor, fat or thin….its just the fate of life….I will continue to remain positive that the therapy is working and continue to twirl in the moonlight for you….XXxxXX

    Liked by 1 person

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