I will see her again

From my post ‘Who is next?‘, I wrote the following –

Do I have other family members coming to visit?  Well, since you asked –

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Image Provided by: Kyrene Foundation

This coming Friday, my twin sister and my mom will be visiting. Another important visit I am looking forward to because my mom and I are close.  I have written many posts about the importance she is to me.  This will be an emotional visit because my mom, she worries like most moms do and I think she feels helpless.

My sister and I are twins and therefore we have a special bond.  I believe if that bond were broken in anyway, there would be a great loss there.  My sister has revealed to me she is heartbroken and upset and cries on a daily basis.

This weekend I will have special visits with special family members; both have been important to me throughout my life and especially now.

In today’s post, I write the following –

This time with my mom and sister certainly at times was emotional.  They were not prepared to see my body that has become weak and frail.  They were not prepared to see me walking will difficulty and needing the help of others with some everyday tasks.  They were not prepared to see me drained of energy, strength and vigor.

I felt it important for them to see me this way; to see how serious this cancer is attaching my body.

We had discussions about how the cancer is affecting my body and the current treatment and potential future treatments.  We discussed my daily struggle and my reason for fighting.  We discussed my possible decision I may need to make in the future.  And we discussed me dying and my final wishes.

We cried a lot, hugged a lot and enjoyed each other’s company.  I made sure they knew how grateful I was that they came to visit me and the importance of their visit.

My second oldest brother was here also to visit me and to spend some time with mom and sister.  Him and I were not close growing up and it has only been in the last couple of years we have connected in a different way.  I guess growing older sometimes bring people closer together and breaks down differences.

I cried in front of these family members on several occasions as I shared my fears.20170416_194313 (2)  Their comfort and support and love brought strength for both Gary and me.  Their time here with us will not be forgotten anytime soon.

The time came when we had to say our goodbyes, with the most difficult being my mom.  We both cried and I told her I will see her again.

These family members know my life may be short.  The once small cancer that was found almost 2 years ago, is now taking over my body.  The treatments may help slow down the progression, but ultimately my cancer will end my life.

65 thoughts on “I will see her again

  1. So glad you had this time with your Mom and sister and even the opportunity to be closer with your brother. These are the ways we should spend this journey of life. I’m so glad you are having these talks and the chance to share your feelings and emotions and love. Cancer may be ravaging your body, but it cannot steal your soul and your heart and your spirit! Sending loving hugs!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Those words you said to your mom, ‘I will see you again’ are so special. Those are the words I know she wanted to hear. I am glad you have been able to see your family over these last several weeks, these were visits that were needed. I can only imagine all the emotions that were flowing, even though at times it was hard, you did it my friend.
    I hope today will be easier for you. Rest and give Roxy a hug from me. Love and Hugs 🙂 x

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Such an emotional real and loving weekend. I am so so glad you got to feel the support and love from family that you didn’t have a connection with before like your brother. And that you got to share all of your inner most thoughts.
    Truly heart moments.
    Thinking of you and Gary both. Thank you for sharing these moments. I felt blessed to read them

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I am so happy you were able to share this time with them and share your struggles. That ability to share and that connection is so important for you during this time. What a special time for all of you, despite the difficulty it carried.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was a good feeling being honest with my emotions during this time and sharing them with my family. They have a better understanding of what I am going through on a daily basis and the struggle ahead. Thank you for stopping by today, I appreciate your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Good to hear that you are r-establishing close emotional ties with your family members. As important as it is to you, it is just as important to them, and sharing the painful details of your journey is bringing all of you closer together.
    Have a peaceful day!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It is so difficult for me to find words when reading your posts. I am broken but I know you need strength and support and I have offered to send you and Gary as much strength as I can. Know that both of you are in my heart and my mind I send you both the usual hugs and kisses.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Having read your blog from almost the beginning, I know that relations haven’t always been easy with various members of your family. It makes my heart sing to know that your family has rallied around as you fight this struggle. Your mom must be a remarkable person to have brought up such a wonderful son as you. All my love K x

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Laughter and tears, joy and pain … you must have experienced so many emotions this weekend. Crucial for all of you and I hope in some way strengthening for you. Your words to your mom light up the darkness ‘I will see you again’ …. you will, dear Terry, you will 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    • It was certainly an important visit and comforting and emotional. My family was able to see my living environment and the importance of Gary in my life. Thanks for stopping by – always appreciated.

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  9. I’m so glad that you had this weekend with your family, Terry, especially with your mom. It must have been so tough for her to see you with your pain, unbearable really. And I’m glad you found the exact words she needed to hear before leaving. Many gentle hugs for you my friend! 😄💕

    Liked by 1 person

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