“Terry Tidwell Trio – God Will Make This Trial A Blessing”

Hey All,

Sorry I haven’t been blogging much lately.  Ever since returning back to Cocoa Beach after Christmas I have been keeping pretty much to myself.  For whatever reason, I haven’t had any desire to get out there and to socialize with others like I had been doing when I first got here, although there are still all kinds of things I could do.  I don’t even socialize much with folks in the RV park. I know all this will eventually change and  I will eventually get into the swing of things again, but for now I just needed a little bit of solitude to think about my past life and my companionship with Terry and with my two little dogs (Roxy and Max). My life in just these past few months has so dramatically changed where once again I am now living day by day on my own.  I think the reality of it all is finally sinking in.  It seems so hard for me these days to get excited about doing much of anything (other than going to the gym which luckily I still have been doing).  When I was much younger it was very easy for me to get out and about and to travel and take vacations on my own and to meet others easily, but as I have gotten older it has become a lot more challenging to do.  Quite frankly I don’t like to have to force myself to do this.  I miss just having that day to day companionship with a soulmate like Terry and don’t think I ever will be able to do that again. I am not the easiest person to live with !

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post this evening, but wanted to let you know how I have been feeling these days.  I don’t know how I came about finding this video and song on you tube, as it was merely by accident.  Look at the title of the group  with the same name as Terry Tidwell. Listen closely to the words of the song.  Maybe it was just another way for Terry to converse indirectly with me thru this musical group to let me know that everything will be alright ?  Luv Gary

 

35 thoughts on ““Terry Tidwell Trio – God Will Make This Trial A Blessing”

  1. Oh bless your heart, Gary. Life has been a complete roller coaster for you over the last months. Feeling at a loss is not surprising. I’m glad Terry ‘sent’ you a song that ‘speaks’ to you. We’re here when you need us.

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  2. This is not a Debbie Downer post Gary, this is real. These are your feelings and it is okay. It i all very understandable, so please don’t be hard on yourself.
    I am pleased you are going to the gym, that alone is a huge plus and is good for you.
    Take one day at a time Garry. 🙂 x

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  3. Grieving is not a simple start stop process. It is a time that one has to pass through in order to let the love of the one we have lost settle to it’s place so that we can go forward with them intact in our heart. You had the most ghastly run up to losing your soul-mate and you managed to get on with life and you spent vibrant time with your family over the holidays running hither and thither. Now you need this time of solitude, feeling all is lost. But I promise, it too will pass. Losing little Roxy was perhaps the catalyst for this time. You will come through. You will. Terry will see that you do – he sent you this message, I am sure …. there is no other explanation I can find. He is keeping you safe and he will guide you to the day when you feel more able to socialise again. Until then, those three beautiful faces – Terry, Max and Roxy are watching you with pure love, coaxing you to unearthing the strong deep sad emotions you feel so that you can move forwards gently again. I think of you daily, hold you in my thoughts and you have many others too who will patiently reassure you that you in the end, after some while, all shall be well again. X

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  4. There are so many stages of grief and you have coped amazingly well with such a sad year. Perhaps it is okay to embrace your feelings and be quiet for a while? I agree with Osyth that losing Roxie has been the catalyst to this completely normal blue stage. It always passes but don’t be afraid to reach out for help or counselling from friends, family or physicians. I was thinking of you in Merida and included you in my prayers in the many churches. Sending fond thoughts, K x

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  5. Sending you a virtual hug. It can’t be easy going through what you’re experiencing. Please know you have a community of people here who love and care for you and your well-being. Lovely song.

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  6. Dear Gary, grief is a long process, and you have to give yourself time to go through it. Just think how amazing it is that Terry is sending you all kinds of messages to let you know that you are not alone, that the connection is unbroken, and love is eternal!
    Sending you my blessings and prayers!
    With all my heart,
    Dolly

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  7. Thanks for your kind words Dolly. I will be okay. Got out of my shell a bit and joined one of my local groups tonight for dinner. It was therapeutic for me to get out and interact with other. Glad I went. Luv Gary

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  8. As you can tell, I am working back from previous post…grieving comes when you least expect, and will continue to come and go, I think taking time for yourself to reflect is healthy. You have been through a lot my friend, you also went through what Terry did, you were his caregiver, it wasn’t easy, I know from experience, and then to loose Roxy. I am so sorry that you are alone. I can only promise that it will get easier, I am not sure if we learn to hide the pain, or what, but somehow, someday, it will get easier. Until then, not only am I here for you, but the rest of us are here. and my friend never worry that you need to take some time…take all the time you need….xxxkat

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