The other day when I was writing a post called “Oouch….” in which I discussed some of my current and potential future healthcare issues. Simultaneously and totally by accident, I came accross this private recording that Terry saved on his smart phone. It’s as if he wanted me to discover this message recording at that very moment.
Despite all Terry’s past challenges while combating his cancer and fighting for his life, he worried not only about his future destiny, but concerned about not being able to care for me when I might need it after his passing. He also did not want me to live out the rest of my life in loneliness. It just goes to show what a good, kind and caring person Terry was.
Depite my emotional ups and downs after Terry’s passing, I have tried to remain strong and to force myself to get out socially and to remain as active as I could, because I know this is the best thing for me to do and it is what Terry would have wanted. Now with the current development and some possible future health challenges, I will continue to remain strong and to confront each issue positively and to remind myself that there are many others in this world with health problems far greater than mine, so I must be grateful and never let myself become angry. This is life and as Terry says in his voice recording at the very end “we are all going to die anyways.” Now, although to my knowledge I am not near death (hopefully) I know Terry’s spirit continues to be with me and he is smiling down upon me from heaven and bringing me the comfort, the love and the strength to confront my current and future challenges and to remain optimistic to live my life to the fullest despite any obstacles.
All will be well.
Note: FYI , June 1st was Terry’s 9 month anniversary for departing this earth to a much better place. Also, This past weekend was actually the last time Terry was actually able to get outside and to take a long walk with me around the entire base without any assistance (i.e. walker, cane, wheelchair, etc;) The weather was beautiful that day and Terry truly enjoyed the fresh air and natural beauty of what God gave us. However, that very next week, Terry began showing significant signs of deteriorating health and developing new complications. That necessitated more specialized doctor visits, several hospitalizations, new medical procedures and a couple of inpatient stays in hospice until finally returning back to our RV to rest peacefully in the last few days of his life. From Father’s Day (last year) thru end of August, fortunately all Terry’s immediate family members had a chance to take turns to travel to Tampa to spend a few days with him, even if just to sit in our RV to chat or to reminisce or as applicable to visit him at the hospital.