Dreaming with Color

My friends this past week I have had unexpected change in plans.

After my appointment last Tuesday with Dr. C., he decided to admit me into the hospital.

Since then, much has taken place and this weekend I have more family visiting.

I plan to post everyday – this is my goal.

For the next several days, I have a favor to ask.

I need some rest, some time to catchup on me.

Comments are disabled today.

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Provided by: Inception Radio Network

While in the hospital and spending time by myself provides me time to think, dream, ponder, and reflect.

There is much to take place in the near future, and I will let you know what that is soon.

There is much to take in and think about and ponder about.

There is much to take in and dream about and reflect about.

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Image Provided by: WallpapersCraft

Weekend Spent with Sister

You may remember in my post last week ‘Who is next?‘, I wrote the following –

This coming Friday, my twin sister and my mom will be visiting.

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Image Provided by: welcometosister.com

In today’s post, I write the following –

Because I will be spending time with my twin sister this weekend, I decided to take it easy here on WP.

I disabled comments for this post; I hope you don’t mind.

Thank you for stopping by today to read, and even though you are unable to leave a comment, you can still ‘Like’ my post.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Weekend Spent with Mom

You may remember in my post last week ‘Who is next?‘, I wrote the following –

This coming Friday, my twin sister and my mom will be visiting.

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Image Provided by: Pixabay

In today’s post, I write the following –

Because I will be spending time with my mom this weekend, I decided to take it easy here on WP.

I disabled comments for this post; I hope you don’t mind.

Thank you for stopping by today to read, and even though you are unable to leave a comment, you can still ‘Like’ my post.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Body, Soul & Mind

 

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Currently my body is taking a beating.

Cancer is beating every part of my body and not wasting time doing it.

Immunotherapy is beating on my body with tiredness and fatigue.

Pain medications are beating my body and causing the bowels to not function properly.

Lymphedema is beating on my feet and legs and causing painful movement.

I wake every morning knowing my body will once again feel ache, tiredness, bowel issues and pain with movement.

I wake every morning knowing I will have a day I will need to fight back.

Fighting back is keeping a positive attitude – the best I can under the circumstances.

Fighting back is holding on to hope – there is always hope.

Fighting back is performing daily physical exercises – even when I don’t want to.

Fighting back is eating as well as I can – even when I have no appetite.

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Currently my mind is taking a beating.

Cancer is beating every part of my body including my mind – my thoughts and my emotions at times are weak.

Immunotherapy is beating on my mind with fatigue and lethargy – I am limited on time to use my mind for much rest is needed.

Pain medications are beating my mind and causing tiredness and limited thinking – I must rest and try to rejuvenate.

Lymphedema is beating my mind due to the effects from my limited walking.

I wake every morning knowing my mind will once again feel fatigued and emotional.

I wake every morning knowing I will have a day I will need to fight back.

Fighting back is keeping a positive attitude – the best I can under the circumstances.

Fighting back is holding on to hope – there is always hope.

Fighting back is performing daily mindfulness exercises – even when I don’t want to.

Fighting back is eating as well as I can – even when I have no appetite.

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Currently my soul is taking a beating.

Cancer is beating every aspect of my being including my soul – my identity, that spiritual part of me is receiving messages of non-understanding thoughts.

Immunotherapy is beating on my soul with questioning decisions and actions – am I spiritual and is this part of me being tested?

Pain medications are beating my soul and causing limited thinking – I must rest and follow that which comes from wisdom and makes some logic.

Lymphedema is beating my soul because of body image, pain and limitations.

I wake every morning knowing my soul will once again have questions with no answers.

I wake every morning knowing I will have a day I will need to fight back.

Fighting back is keeping a positive attitude – the best I can under the circumstances.

Fighting back is holding on to hope – there is always hope.

Fighting back is performing daily support from confirmations – even when I don’t feel it.

Fighting back is eating as well as I can – even when I have no appetite.

What are you looking at?

My category ‘Pictures & Stories’ are posts with me writing a fictional, creative short story about a picture.

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at? –

Okay, I was minding my own business, you know doing the things hens do.  And then he starts strutting his stuff.

Really?  And why would you do that here?  The city is allowing us to roam free amongst others and you go and spoil it.

What do you mean, I am making a scene, you started it! Why are you talking to me that way?  Go back to Rooster land or where ever you came from.

Hey, you with the camera.

What are you looking at?

My Feet – A Fresh Perspective

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Image Provided by: TM Forum Inform

I am in year 3 of my blog.

In the early days of this blog, there are posts that received little exposer.

I have a new category ‘Reruns – A Fresh Perspective ’.  This category reposts these earlier posts that received little exposer and a fresh perspective on how I feel about them today.

This post was originally posted on May 16, 2015 –

When I was a small child, I would spend time at my neighbor’s house.  The father of that family would always go barefoot and for whatever reason, I remember what his feet looked like.  He had corns, calluses and cracked heels.  As a child, maybe I thought it was a disease or a lack of hygiene or thought it was normal, not exactly sure what I thought, I just remember how ugly they were.  Fast forward about 50 years and I have my neighbor’s feet!

I have the same corns, calluses and cracked heels – just like my neighbor!  But its ok, my feet reflect the life I have lived, the many years of walking with shoes on but mainly walking without shoes.  I like walking barefoot and walk without shoes any chance I get.  My feet reflect who I am as does my face (that’s another blog post).  My feet reflect my running days; years of running and the many years of walking.  It would be interesting to know how many steps my feet have taken in all my years.

My smartphone has a pedometer that tracks the steps I take throughout the day.  The days I go to the gym and use the elliptical and treadmill, I certainly go beyond 10,000 steps, which my pedometer indicates as very good.  I don’t carry my smartphone on my body at all times, so some days my pedometer indicates I have not taken many steps.  When parking at public places, I am the person who parks the furthest away from the entrance, I always take the stairs and I make sure I walk a lot every day.

So, what’s the point of this post?  I think our feet reflect who we are, certainly where we have been and what we have been doing.  My feet let me dance, my feet let me swim, my feet let me see and reach higher.  My feet have brought me from childhood to adulthood and will continue to carry me to my senior years.

I appreciate my feet even with the corns, calluses and cracked heels.

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A Fresh Perspective –

Much has changed since I wrote that post back in 2015 except, I continue to appreciate my feet.  What has changed?  It was only 6 weeks ago I was walking 1-2 miles per day with some discomfort.  I mentioned in several posts about my increased pain and how it was affecting my walking.  Rapidly the pain increased in my right grown and the walking became worse forcing me to use a cane and now I am using a walker.  Then came reduced physical inactivity and most recently a 7-day hospital stay where I remained bedridden for most of that time.  This combination has caused severe edema in my feet and ankles.

My feet continue to function and do their job even though they are swollen and tired – I continue to appreciate my feet.

Spoonful of Sugar

I wrote in yesterday’s post ‘A Few Days in the Hospital‘, that I am in the hospital with the hopes of identifying the source of my extreme intense pain I have experienced for weeks now.  I had a great deal of interaction with different doctors yesterday and substantial amount of information was given as well as what their expectations are by this Friday.

20170416_194313 (2)The usual CT Scan took place Tuesday evening in the abdominal and pelvic area, as this is where most pain is felt.  Wednesday pain medications were changed and increased and administered via IV for a much quicker response.  The purpose is to reduce my pain level from a level 10 to a level 4.  Because of the amount of pain medications, I am taking, my bowel movements are all but nonexistent.  All possible options to start the movement, did not work and as I sit here Thursday morning writing this post, I am very uncomfortable.

We needed a movement yesterday because I am to receive an MRI today.  I will get to the reasons for the importance of this a little later.  With the increase in pain medications it was hoped the extreme pain I experience in my right groin will subside so that I may be able to straighten my right leg while lying flat on my back.  This is currently not the case, my right leg must be bent at the knee for me to lay flat on my back.  Because the MRI requires laying on my back and being very still for a substantial amount of time, it is important the legs not be bent.

Image3What are the other alternatives?  Sedation or in my case Anesthesia.  Anesthesia is not the best because of the risks involved plus the administration and recovery time necessary.  Plus, as mentioned above with no bowel movements there is a chance while under anesthesia, accidents can happen.  But, at this time the MRI is important and therefore needs to take place.

Prior to Tuesday’s CT Scan, I had to drink contrast, which as many of us know too well does not have the greatest taste.  Yesterday of the possible options to start the bowels moving, I had to drink something that once again did not have the greatest taste.

If only I has a spoonful of sugar, I am sure the medicines would have gone down in the most delightful way.

I still plan one day to catch-up on responding to comments and reading your posts.

More to come tomorrow my friends.

unexpectedly

Yesterday afternoon, I was alone resting.

Suddenly the door opens and there was an unexpected surprise.

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Image Provided by: Board of Wisdom

I am disabling comments my friends, because I need time away from WP today.

You know my appreciation for you all is great and never ending.

Thank you my friends for allowing me to take a day off.

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Image Provided by: The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

Looking for Pain Relief

My post ‘appointments and procedures‘, I wrote the following –

The Neurologist suggested I be referred to Radiation Oncology for radiation treatments to help boost the chemotherapy and reduce the tumor that is pressing against the genitofemoral nerve. The referral is in place for the consultation at the end of this month.  My hope is the radiation treatments can be worked in the schedule along with my chemotherapy treatments.  I am unsure at this time how this will be handled.

Prior to my Radiation Oncology appointment, I will have my first of two appointments for my Facet Injections.  You may remember I was also referred to Pain Management and it was suggested by them to have 2 appointments for the Facet Injections.

In today’ post, I write the following –

This past Wednesday’s post ‘Larger Lymph Nodes‘, I mentioned I was giving it a few days, and then I would let you know how I feel about the results of the first of two Facet Injections I am to receive.

The results are I feel little difference in the level of pain I am experiencing in my lower back.  Immediately after the procedure I felt some relieve; that was most likely a result of the local anesthesia.  Back home and hours later the pain was worse; I reached a 10+ pain level and my emotions took over and with the tears flowing, once again I asked God to let me die now.

I finally found one comfortable position on the recliner and received some sleep and some brief pain relief.

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Crazy Things My Brain Says – blogger

Tuesday morning, I wake with my usual pain level of 5. The pain level from the previous evening is subsided and the new day brings another normal day of pain.  The normal day of pain is because of the many medications I take to control it.  As the day progressed so did the pain level.

This past Monday before the Facet Injection procedure took place I spoke with Dr. P.  We discussed the changes that had taken place with regards to my body since my initial consultation with him.  Dr. P. knows I have additional Lymph Nodes with cancer and the other Lymph Nodes that have cancer are larger.  He is also informed by me that my pain has increased as well.

Besides my lower back pain, I also experience pain in my right groin area that has increased as the weeks have passed.  Also, my nerve pains that radiates down my legs and up my back have increased as well.  Along with this increased pain is an increase in pain medications.

20170416_194313 (2)This past Monday, prior to the procedure Dr. P. suggested for my 2nd appointment he would perform a Superior Hypogastric Nerve Block.  The reason for this procedure is due to the increase pain in my groin area.  This procedure is also more precise in blocking nerve pain in the pelvic region.

So, Wednesday and Thursday came and went and how was my pain level?  The same as usual – a level 5 increasing in the evening to a higher level.

I am still looking for pain relief.