Yellow: the five percent

I like yellow, it is my favorite color.

Wikipedia.org has the following –

Yellow is the color of ripe lemons, sunflowers, and gold. It is between green and orange in the visible spectrum, and a primary color in subtractive color, used in color printing. According to surveys in Europe, Canada, and the United States, yellow is the color people most often associate with amusement, gentleness, and spontaneity, but also with duplicity, envy, jealousy, avarice, and, in the U.S., with cowardice. In Iran it has connotations of pallor/sickness, but also wisdom and connection.  It plays an important role in Asian culture, particularly in China, where it is seen as the color of happiness, glory, wisdom, harmony, and culture.

I like yellow, my favorite color.

Google the word yellow and you receive the following results –

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Image Provided by: Google Play

Yellow is a location-based social search mobile app that allows users to find others to share their Snapchat and Instagram usernames. It also allows users to chat with one another in the app.

Who knew there was an app for that?

And did you know the group Coldplay has a song called Yellow?

There is an interesting article on psychologytoday.com titled  Why We Prefer Certain Colors that has interesting information about why we have a color preference and how it influences our lives.  If you are interested in reading, click the above article link.

Did I mention, I like yellow?

From bustle.com –

The most popular color in the world is blue, and it’s also the most popular color for men, everywhere in the world, to wear. (Women, on the other hand, mostly prefer wearing black.) Statistically, yellow isn’t preferred by many, with only five percent of people claiming it as their most favorite color, and apparently, as people get older, they start to shun orange.

Okay, I am in the five percent when it comes to preferring yellow.

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Image Provided by: Jodi @ https://lifeinbetween.me

I always mention my favorite color to Jodi over at THE CREATIVE LIFE IN BETWEEN because she has wonderful watercolors that have the color yellow.

Did I mention, I really like the color yellow?

A year ago, I published a video post ‘it’s a “Jodi”’, where I unwrapped a package.  The package was sent from Jodi; she sent me a watercolor that I really liked.  The water color is a red boat, but it also has my favorite color.

Did you know, I really, really like yellow – it is my favorite color.

Any guess my favorite fruit?  (hint: it starts with a ‘B’ and yes, it is yellow)

And if you have never heard Coldplay’s song “Yellow” –

find the humor

Who knows Brian from Bonnywood Manor?

If you have not visited his blog, please do so – you will not be disappointed.

So, why am I mentioning Brian and his blog in this post?  Well you see, I leave comments on other’s blog posts and I truly appreciate the communication that takes place with these comments and the comments left on my blog posts.  I do not always leave a comment, but many times I do.  There was a post Brian published titled ’10 More Signs That Your Body Just Isn’t What It Used To Be’.

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I read this post and could relate to it, so I left the following comment –

LOL, so very funny & true. I can relate to many of these Brian.

Brian responded with this comment –

Terry, I honestly hesitated before posting this, wondering if you might find it a bit offensive that I would be whining about such things when you have a much more challenging situation, but I knew in the end you would be fine with it. We’re both here to help others get through the bigs and the smalls by trying to find the humor and the shared humanity in both. Hope you’re doing well…

I responded with the following comment –

You are a good man, and please don’t ever hesitate on posting because of what I or others might think. I always find humor and laughter here on your blog – it helps me a great deal. Yes, we are here to help others – thanks friend – Happy Friday.

When visiting Brian’s blog, I laugh a lot, I mean where I am holding my belly and laughing.  I have to hold my belly right now because I continue to be a little sore from surgery.  But the laughing is good for me and is great medicine for recovery.

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Image Provided by: CHA-T – Wikispaces

My friends, I am not offended by much and I appreciate we have a platform here to express our thoughts.

Brian’s sensitivity toward me and my struggles shows what a good man he is.  Thank you Brian and others for writing, posting and publishing your thoughts.  As Brian indicated in his response comment ‘We’re both here to help others get through the bigs and the smalls by trying to find the humor and the shared humanity in both.

I read many posts by other bloggers and find many different emotions from them.

And many of them I find the humor.

blessed our roads have crossed

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When I started this blog almost 2 years ago, I never imagined I would be writing about my journey with cancer and events that would lead me here today.  But, here I am today with those events and experiences and sharing them with you.  I just write and share and put it out there for those that want to read it.  This blog is about my life; nothing really special, many others are leading more interesting lives.  When I write a post, sometimes it affects others and sometimes I receive a comment that affects me.

From my post ‘I remain grateful (Reader Discretion Is Advised)‘, I received the following comment.

Comment from Hungry Breton (Franck)

Hey man… I know that I have read your post a few days ago. It touched me; to a point that the other night, I dreamt about you and Garry, you had a hat on, kinda cowboy like, but not as extreme as Texas Rangers. You were in good humor, as you walked inside the hospital, we met as we were leaving. 5 years ago, my wife got a big “Mother” of a cancer; a stage 3, grade 4, a 10x10cm tumor on her kidney… Nephrectomy…. She survived, but our couple was never the same after, even if I think I was a good carer. She was never the same after, kissing Death on the lips would leave you like that. I admire her, I admire you, even if I have made my peace if – God forbid- it would happen to me.

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My Mother died of Cancer when I was 25, she was 49, cervical cancer, and a love for bad wine to drown bad memories. Destructive… I am not really sure where I want to go with this, apart from the fact that I feel blessed that our roads have crossed. You are a very brave man in so many ways, I respect people like you. If you guys fancy visiting our crazy Island one day, give me a shout. You rock like hell, Garry the helicopter guy rocks like hell, when I cannot even jump on a plane. Spread your arms, look at the sunset and scream: ” Freedom ya Mothers!!!” ‘cos you know what it feels like to be free… Fair play to you my friend… Fair play!!!

My response –

Franck, I read your comment yesterday early morning and several times yesterday and again this morning. It has taken me a day to respond because your comment had me feeling many emotions. I had to take my emotions and think about where they were coming from and why. First of all, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and the experience both you and your wife went though. Life throws situations at us we are not always prepared for and we just do the best we can each day.

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For you to write you feel blessed our roads have crossed is the best compliment anyone could give. This blog is me writing down my experiences and feelings and emotions and for others to feel something and get something out of it – I am humbled and honored. Thank you for being a friend and being honest and sincere. I hope to one day take a trip to your island and meet you – what a privilege that would be. Have a happy day my friend, I truly appreciate you.

To Franck and each one of you – I am blessed our roads have crossed.

virtual spoons

The Saturday prior to my Monday surgery I published a video log post ‘Big Day Monday‘.  I received many wonderful comments including one that stands out because of my response back.  Fellow blogger and friend leggypeggy has been sending me virtual spoons ever since that post.

From that post, Peggy wrote the following comment –

A big thank you to you for sharing your journey with us. Also nice to see the landscape you will enjoy during your recovery. Sending virtual hugs and lots of love for smooth surgery and speedy recovery. And yes, be a good patient and the nurses will love you.

I responded with the following –

LOL, yes I know I need to be a good patient – I certainly need nurses loving me. When I feel bad and grumpy, I will think of you and the spoon on your forehead – that will remind me to be good. Thanks Peggy, yours and others support here is important to me. Have a great day!

Her response –

Oh yeah, remember the spoon! It must be a lucky charm. Should I send you one?

My response –

You can send a virtual spoon everyday next week!

Her response –

Consider it done.

So, Peggy sent me a virtual spoon every day the week of my surgery.

In my post ‘my struggle with cancer‘, again Peggy commented about the virtual spoon –

Glad they were able to explain ‘the knot’, but still strange that it happened. This improves the chances of being relatively pain-free as you more fully recover. Sending virtual spoons and hugs for your mental strength.

My response –

Thank you Peggy, physically I feel much better with still weeks of recovery ahead of me. I appreciate the virtual spoons and hugs for the mental strength because I will be honest, at times I am struggling. Thank you for your support and friendship.

Her response –

I figure that right now your body is stronger than the mind, so the spoons and hugs will keep coming.

Peggy continues to send virtual spoons today; a way for her to bring a smile to my face and remind myself that I can and will get through this and everything eventually will be good again.

I continue to heal and recover and have up and down days and adjusting to the new me.  I post every day and just like many of you, Peggy has a comment for me.  Many times, she lets me know she is sending me virtual spoons.  A little joke between her and I, but a reminder the spoon is a lucky charm – and she sends them to me.

She has indicated I should take a picture with a spoon on my forehead – so, here you go Peggy, this is for you.

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Imagine You

A month ago in my post ‘Travel Vision‘, I wrote the following –

Since my initial posts about our travel adventure and the idea of meeting many of you; my life changed dramatically.  But the plans and the travel, though on hold now, they are still my vision for the future, especially now more so than ever.  Why?  Well, because you have supported me and helped me through a tough time in my life.  I want to thank you both in my writings here on WP and if possible in person when the travel adventure takes place.

In today’s post, I write the following –

I realize I would be unable to thank each one of you in person, but if it is possible to thank a few of you in person; I would be honored.  I remain optimistic this will occur someday, so in the meantime, I imagine you.  There are many of you that I know what you look like and have a clue to your personality.  Part of your personality is portrayed through your writings and posts.  But I feel no matter what we display; we do not know each other 100%, it is difficult for the true 100% of us to be here on our blogs.

Okay, so where am I going with this?

Well, back to my reason for this post – Imagine You

Back in November of last year after Thanksgiving: I was sitting on an airplane ready to fly back to Florida from Texas.  While the plane is parked at the gate, I sit in my chair waiting for others to board and take their seats.  Gary and I are lucky enough to sit on the first row of the plane, not first class mind you, but we are on the first row which means more leg room.  Across the aisle are 3 women, very different women who chat as if they are the best of friends for many years.  One of them has a familiar look because she reminds me of a fellow blogger friend who I will not mention by name here.  This fellow blogger friend does not have a picture of herself on her blog, but she has briefly displayed herself a couple of times: so, I have a glimpse of her in my mind.

As I sit there and listen to these women chat I imagine the one that has the familiar look is my fellow blogger friend.

There are other times I am in a public area imagining people around me are you.   These other people around me, these strangers to me I imagine are really friends, you my friends.

I imagine these strangers are people I know; people who I know a little about and people I know a lot about – I imagine these strangers are not strangers after all – they are friends – they are you.

I would like to meet every one of you in person someday.  Most likely that will not happen, so in the mean time I will continue to – Imagine You

(Here is an upbeat song for a Monday morning.  If I could I would be up dancing, but my recovery is not allowing that for now – soon, very soon, I will be!)

My hotchpotch

In my post ‘the next 9 days‘ I wrote the following –

Most of my posts for the next 9 days are about events of the past several weeks, about my current feelings and about my future after surgery.

In today’s post, I write the following –

9 days counting; I feel you are tired of reading posts about this upcoming surgery and my feelings and emotions.  But I had to get it out of my head and onto paper before tomorrow.

So, today I am wrapping-up different topics into one post – my hotchpotch.

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Image Provided by: Food52

Hotchpotch #1 –

Reminders –

Because I have a personal goal to post every day, next week is no exception.  Next week’s posts are all scheduled and ready to publish; expect a lighter week with regards to subject and topic.  Starting tomorrow, my posts will have the comments disabled.  My hope is that I will be back ready to respond to your wonderful comments next Saturday – time will tell.

Hotchpotch #2 –

Tomorrow is surgery day.

Tomorrow is not just an important day for me, it is for others as well.

Tomorrow, Monday January 16, 2017 is significant for the following reasons –

A Federal Holiday –

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is a federal holiday in the United States honoring the achievements of Martin Luther King, Jr. – the chief spokesman for nonviolent activism in the civil rights movement to end racial segregation. It is observed on the third Monday of January each year, which is close to January 15, the King’s birthday.

RV Friend Surgery –

While temporary living on the Naval Air Station Pensacola RV park, Gary and I have met many wonderful people we now consider friends.  One of these friends is having surgery tomorrow as well and at the same hospital as me.  Who knows, maybe our paths will cross in the surgery prep room.

Stepmom’s Birthday –

For no particular reason; I do not believe I have ever mentioned my stepmom here on my blog.  She is very important to my dad and very important to me.  My stepmom is much younger than my dad and not too much older than me.  My dad and stepmom are married for over 30 years now and tomorrow is her birthday.  My stepmom is 18 years younger than my dad and 9 years older than me.  My stepmom celebrates her 65th birthday tomorrow.

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Image Provided by: spearfruit.com

Hotchpotch #3 –

I wanted to publish another post before tomorrow of the importance of my caregiver Gary.  I ran out of time and days and his post will wait for a few weeks.  Let’s just say, in the coming months, I will need him more than ever – and it is comforting to know, he will be here for me.  I am fortunate, lucky, blessed to have Gary in my life.

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Image Provided by: Meaningful Ideas

Hotchpotch #4 –

I am fortunate, very fortunate in my life – a life filled with joy, sadness, certainties and unknowns.  I consider myself lucky: I do believe I have much more to look forward to – many years to come of travels, making friends, visiting family, celebrating, uncovering, and most importantly living.

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Image Provided by: Jo Abbott I Graphic Designer

I remain grateful (Reader Discretion Is Advised)

We are not far along into the new year and I hope all is well with each one of you.

Today has many unknowns for me as it did a year ago at this time.

Last year had me diagnosed with superficial bladder cancer, followed by 2 surgeries and then the upgrade to Stage 4 Bladder Cancer, followed by 12 weeks of chemotherapy.

In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will have a major surgery to continue the journey that started more than a year ago.

Once the surgery takes place, there will be more to come that currently is unknown.

Once the surgery takes place, there will be more to come that is certain.

Let me be honest – I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.

I will no longer have control of my urination and I will no longer produce sperm and possibly no longer have an erection.

Let me be honest, again, I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.

I have no problems no longer producing sperm and I have no problems with no longer having an erection.

However, it does bother me some to no longer have control of my urination.  It seems odd that this would bother me, but it does.  I took for granted things in my life, one of them is having control of my urination.  Think about this for a minute; as men grow older, the whole producing of sperm and lack of erection can happen.  And there are pills for that – not that I am interested – but they are available.  But never had I thought about not having control of my urination.

In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will no longer have control of my urination.

Let me be honest, one more time, I have always been honest here on my blog and at times direct.

In 5 days, this coming Monday, I will have a stoma or also referred to as a urostomy, an ileal conduit or urinary diversion.

I will have a pouch or bag on the outside of my body to collect my urine.  I will no longer have control of my urination.

This bothers me some – but I will accept it and I will become accustomed to it and I will live with it.

Soon the unknowns will become knowns and there will be more to come that is certain.

What I do know today; is I will remain grateful.

For after all that has taken place last year and all that is to come next week and the months to follow; I still have many things to be grateful for.

I have a spouse who is my caregiver, who is always here for me.

I have a home, a place to live, a place to shelter in.

I have a family, both near and far, who support me.

And I have you my friends, who are never more than a comment away with support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.

I remain grateful.

Happy Year

Today 1 year ago, my post started with the following –

Happy New Year Everyone!

As I start this New Year, I first wanted to say ‘Thank You’ to each and every one of you that read my blog.  When I started this a little over 7 months ago I really had no idea where it would take me.  Really I was at a point where I was not doing much in my life.  At that time I knew my extreme Christmas decorating was not going to take place, so I had time on my hands to do something else.  And with me retired and not working, I have time on my hands.  So, what should I do?  I have always had the idea of writing a book about my life, I felt for me that was important.  But, deep inside I knew that would most likely not occur as I consider myself not a writer – I do not know where to start in writing a book.

So there I was last year with time on my hands and wondering what I should be doing with my time.  I could start a blog about me and my life; and that is what I did.  Would anyone read my blog about me and my life?  Would anyone really care about those things in my life that brought me to here today and a new year?  But I am not a writer; would people read and criticize my writing?  Should I expose the true me and everything about me?

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In today’s post, I write the following –

Happy 2017 Everyone!

The first day of 2016, I had no knowledge of what that year would bring.

The first day of 2017, I have some knowledge of what this year will bring.

I never write words that are not the truth and I never pretend to be something I am not.

This blog, my blog is about me and my life; my thinking, my emotions, my feelings, my experiences, and events that shape me.

I am privileged to have a platform to write and express me.

I am privileged to have a platform to read and comprehend you.

I write often ‘I appreciate you’, ‘Happy Day’ in posts and comments.

I do not have other words to describe my feelings for you who read my posts.

I will never have words that exactly describe my feelings for the support I receive here.

My wish is each of you have a year full happiness and whatever the journey you are on, that you never give up hope.

I will continue to write and post and I certainly will never give up hope.

I appreciate you, truly I do – happy year my friends.

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that word

Earlier this year in March, I wrote a post ‘What Does Love Got To Do With It?‘, that included the following –

Again I ask; what does love got to do with it?

Love has much to do with family.  Love has everything to do with people we are meant to spend our lives with.

I love my parents and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my siblings and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my sons and I tell them ‘I love you’.  I love my husband and I tell him ‘I love you’.

Per psychcentral.com article ‘Is Love Losing its Meaning?’ –

This is a heavily debated topic. People often try to define love in terms of romantic euphoria; however, the word “love” generally is used so loosely that its meaning can become diluted. The truth is, “love” often is used to describe other emotions or strong feelings. Using the word “love” just saves us the trouble of having to figure out what we’re actually feeling. We can say we “love” anything, but what does love really mean to us?

In today’s post, I write the following –

I wrote the above post because I felt that word ‘love’ is used too much to describe feelings towards something.  Notice the word I used ‘something’ rather than ‘someone’.  I will be honest, I usually do not use that word ‘love’ toward someone else other than my family and spouse.

My post ‘Results‘, included a video of me discussing the results of my recent tests after chemotherapy and the announcement of my upcoming surgery.  I received many comments including from my good friend Jodi over at The Creative Life In Between.

Jodi’s comment –

Love you Terry!!! You look wonderful despite what you must be going through! Stay positive sweet friend. You have spread more love than you will ever know! xo

My response –

Thank you Jodi, interesting choice of words ‘Love you Terry’, I will need to write a post about that – I know it sounds confusing at the moment! You are special and I am extremely fortunate for friends such as yourself!

Jodi’s response –

Interesting? Just the truth.

I will repeat what I wrote above – I will be honest, I usually do not use that word ‘love’ toward someone else other than my family and spouse.

This recently changed; because I did use that word ‘love’ towards you the readers of my blog.  You never heard it, because I choose not to publish it.  What was I thinking when I spoke that word?  Where did that word come from?  Why did I not let you hear it?  The answers to the questions are; I was not thinking, just reacting – The heart – I felt awkward.

For my video posts, I usually record a video one time because I know what I want to say and the words flow freely and easily.  The video in my ‘Results‘ post took 6 recording attempts.  There were 3 attempts where other people walked near me and I stopped the recording.  1 recording was me walking and I felt it rushed.  Another video was good and that is the one included in the previously mentioned post.  My first recording I liked, even though there was a bit more surrounding noise than I prefer.   The main reason to not use this recording was because at the end I was not thinking and just reacted from the heart and after viewing the video, I felt awkward.

The ‘Results‘ post was published and the comments were made and Jodi used that word ‘love’.  I used that word first; but you never heard that word.

I believe I used that word first because I truly care about you and I truly feel you care about me.  I see now I can use that word ‘love’ for those I truly care about; not just my family and not just my spouse.

I can use that word ‘love’ towards friends as well.

Here is my first video I choose not to use – (FYI: if you want to just hear me speak that word, start the video around the 3:25 mark)

gratitude for you

Last year around this time, I published a post ‘All Things Thanksgiving & Turkey’.  The post included fun facts about Thanksgiving and Turkey jokes.  I figured it would not receive many likes being it was the day before Thanksgiving and I did not have many followers back then.  That post did receive 16 ‘Likes’ and 4 ‘Comments’ from bloggers that continue to follow me today.

I am going on 18 months blogging and I have learned that followers will come and go, some leave and return and others leave never to be heard from again.  We all have lives that take us in directions that at times are unexpected.   These turns in direction sometimes require us to make changes in our lives; sometimes those changes involve no longer spending time on WP.  Whatever the reason for followers leaving WP, I wish them the best and hope their lives are happy and healthy.

allabouthistory.org article Meaning of Thanksgiving has very good information about the Real Meaning of Thanksgiving.  One of those meanings is Expressions of Gratitude.  This part of the article begins with the following –

The meaning of Thanksgiving has undergone numerous transitions — an expression of gratitude for survival, a council’s recognition of its flourishing community, submission of the local natives, the defeat over the British, resulting in a collection of our nation’s traditions and values. Over the centuries, families added their customs to the Thanksgiving celebration, preserving that which they held most precious.

In this post, I want to take time to express my gratitude to you the followers and readers of this blog.

Many have followed me for over a year – with a few almost from day one with the first post.

Even though life is busy at times, many of you stop by every day to read and/or comment, and others take time every couple of days or weeks to catchup.  No matter how much time you spend here and if you have followed me for quite some time now or are recent – I appreciate you very much and am thankful for you.

I feel extremely fortunate that many of you I consider friends.  And yes, yet we only correspond via online on WP, I feel close to many of you.  Over the past 1 ½ years, I have shared my early years and my recent years with nothing hidden.  My posts, my writings and my words are accepted by many bloggers and I know not accepted by others.  I appreciate the opportunity to write and express my life and myself here on WP.

I express my gratitude to WP for allowing me to express myself here on my blog.

I express my gratitude to each one of you who follow my blog, who read my blog, who ‘Like’ my posts and leave encouraging comments.

I certainly consider all of you friends. – from the bottom of my heart – gratitude for you.

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