can’t escape challenges – a Visual Recite

I have added a new category to my blog titled ‘a Visual Recite’.

I have taken many pictures over the years and I share them with you with a recite.

(I disabled comments today, I need more time to respond to Monday’s heartfelt comments that you left me.  I also need time to adjust back home and the changes needed as I continue my heath care here at home.  Thank you my friends for your understanding.)

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can’t escape challenges  –

I feel like life is really short, and it’s important to enjoy yourself and embrace whatever comes your way, whether it’s a challenging day or a great day, just welcome it with open arms. No matter who you are, you can’t escape challenges; they are part of life.

–          Miranda Kerr

Eating Ice Cream with My Fingers – A Fresh Perspective

I am in year 3 of my blog.

In the early days of this blog, there are posts that received little exposer.

I have a new category ‘Reruns – A Fresh Perspective’.  This category reposts these earlier posts that received little exposer and a fresh perspective on how I feel about them today.

This post was originally posted on May 19, 2015 –

Have you ever eaten ice cream with your fingers?

I remember back at a time, maybe 25 years ago, when I was going through one of many rough times in my life.

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Image Provided by: http://www.stormbros.com

This particular time in my life was rough because I was struggling to survive to make ends meet, to move forward.  This particular time in my life was just one of many where I was experiencing life’s bumpy road.  I was going through my divorce and working a job that did not pay well.  I was depressed, alone, paying child support for several kids, trying to pay bills, just trying to survive; and wondering where my next penny was coming from.  During this period of struggle, even though the money was minimal I needed to do something for myself.  I felt I needed to ‘treat’ myself because I did not want to neglect myself, I did not want to neglect my well-being.  I gave myself a ‘treat’ at least once a month.  One month I bought a cheap picture to put on a bare wall in my apartment of little furnishings.  I needed something to look at besides the wall paper.

Another month I decided to buy ice cream as a ‘treat’ for myself – I needed it!  I went to the store and bought the ice cream and was excited and looked forward to the moment of eating it because it was so desired.  As soon as I arrived to my apartment I immediately wanted to eat the ice cream.  But wait!  It occurred to me that I have no silverware; no spoons, no forks, no knifes, nothing.  I had no plates, no bowls, no cups; I had nothing!  My apartment of little furnishings was not going to prevent me from eating the ice cream I desired.  I used my fingers; I used my fingers for as long as I could, until they became cold and I felt they were getting frost bite.  The well desired ice cream was good and I felt good.

I think back at this one moment in time when I wanted something that I felt I needed, desired and deserved.  Even when the tools were not there for me to use, I ate my ice cream anyway.  I will never stop eating ice cream even when it appears sometime will prevent me from doing so.  There is nothing that can stop be from eating my ice cream.

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Image Provided by: scind.org

So, if you do not have the tools to eat your ice cream – don’t let that stop you, there is always another way to eat ice cream.  I know how.

A Fresh Perspective –

Not much has changed with this attitude today.  It is important to treat ourselves and especially when times are tough.  So, no matter the struggle, no matter the time in our life; we should ‘treat’ ourselves, even when we may not have the utensils to do so.

286,750

Today is the 24th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

WAIT!!

It is not just 24 months, but 2 years!

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When I started this blog 2 years ago today, I had no idea where I was going with it and where it would take me.

I just decided at that time 2 years ago I wanted to write about my life; after all I had been thinking about it for; well, all my life.

For this post, I debated on whether I should reveal to you my stats, are they really important?  Do you really care about them?

I do look at my stats, but I don’t put a great deal of time into analyzing them.

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But, it is 2 years today that I have been writing about my life – so I must give some sort of figure that is significant to what I am doing here on WP.

These are the only stats I am revealing –

I have written 752 posts.

If I were to count the words in those post (and I did), it would be 286,750.  (yes, I actually went back to verify the word count – OCD?)

My goal for year 1 – to publish one post per day.  I easily accomplished this goal with some days publishing 2 posts.

My goal for year 2 – again to publish one post per day, I again easily accomplished this goal because my cancer gave me more to write about.

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My goal for year 3 – I am unsure as of today it I can publish one post per day.  It is not that I do not have enough to write about, it is about finding the time.  You might think to yourself since I do not work, I would have plenty of time on my hands – and I do.

The problem is because of my cancer and the effects it is having on me, I am needing to rest more, somedays all day.  Much of my time right now is consumed with rest and sleep and that takes away from my writing.  Plus, the pain pills I am on make me drowsy and this is affecting my concentration and overall thinking.

So, I am making no promises about publishing one post a day.  I have a few ideas about making it easier for me to do so; we shall see if I can incorporate these ideas soon.  Again, my time is being stolen by rest and sleep and the concentration skills are lacking.

So, year 3 begins today and never would I have imagined I would make it this far.  I never imagined I would have written 752 posts.  I never imagined I would write 286,750 words.

I also never would have imagined I would have cancer.

I refer to it as my cancer, because it belongs to no one else, just me.  My cancer is attacking my body the way it wants to, the way it sees fit to.  And right now, my cancer is attaching very toughly.

I am fighting back, but I will be honest, my strength is becoming limited and weak.

I continue to do my best to write and publish one post per day – this is a goal – I need a goal at this time in my life.  No goals leave me with nothing to keep me focus, even when that focus is difficult at times.

I want to thank you all for following my blog and for your comments of support and encouragement.  I have many wonderful friendships that are priceless.  You helped me write those 752 posts with 286,750 words.  I want to continue to write posts and words for as long as my body allows; because I enjoy seeing and hearing from you each day.  I enjoy the communication with you, the many wonderful friends from all over the world.

You brighten my day; and for that I say, ‘Thank you and have a Happy Day’.

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Today is the 24th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Bead Throwing & Celebration

From Google search ‘Fat Tuesday’ –

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Image Provided by: insaneeliquid.net

Mardi Gras (/ˈmɑːrdiɡrɑː/), also called Shrove Tuesday, or Fat Tuesday, in English, refers to events of the Carnival celebrations, beginning on or after the Christian feasts of the Epiphany (Three Kings Day) and culminating on the day before Ash Wednesday.

Up until August of last year, I lived in Dallas, Texas for 27 years.  I do not recall having Mardi Gras parades or related events.  I currently am living in Pensacola, Florida located in the pan handle of Florida and about an hour drive from Mobile, Alabama.

From Google search ‘Where did Mardi Gras originate’ –

Despite the holiday’s rich history in New Orleans, Louisiana, Mayor Sam Jones of Mobile, Alabama, says the first Mardi Gras celebration in this country actually took place in his city, and most Mobile natives agree.

I had no idea the significance of Mardi Gras in this region.  It seems for the whole month of February, every Thursday, Friday & Saturday and other days; there has been a Mardi Gras parade in Mobile.  Then there are parades in the surrounding smaller towns as well as Pensacola.

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Image Provided by: AXS.com

From Google search ‘How long is the Mardi Gras celebration?’ –

The holiday of Mardi Gras is celebrated in Southern Louisiana, although celebrations are concentrated for about two weeks before and through Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday. Usually there is one major parade each day (weather permitting); many days have several large parades.

I found a schedule for the parades for Mobil and the surrounding area and counted 48 of them total.  I never knew the importance of Mardi Gras in the south until now.

From Google search ‘What is the meaning of the beads at Mardi Gras?’ –

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Image Provided by: http://www.partycity.ca

Bead throwing and Mardi Gras go hand-in-hand. The Throwing Of Beads. The tradition of bead throwing starts with their original colors. The color of the beads was determined by the king of the first daytime Carnival in 1872. He wanted the colors to be royal colors – purple for justice, gold for power and green for faith.

I missed all the parades and the beads this year because of my recovery from surgery.  I just do not have the stamina to stand for long periods of time in crowds of people.

From Google search ‘Why do we celebrate Mardi Gras?’ –

Related popular practices are associated with Shrovetide celebrations before the fasting and religious obligations associated with the penitential season of Lent. In countries such as England, Mardi Gras is also known as Shrove Tuesday, which is derived from the word shrive, meaning “confess”.

I never celebrated Mardi Gras in the past and again this year did not celebrate.

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Image Provided by: thebayouinsider.com

But I have certainly learned the significance and importance of it in this area where I am temporally residing.

I do not know where I will be next year at this time.

I do not know if I will celebrate Mardi Gras next year.

What about you?

Do you celebrate Mardi Gras?

my life right now

 

In my post ‘Good things require work‘, I wrote the following –

My nights are increasing in the lack of sleep I am receiving due to pain and discomfort, and I wake every morning tired, feeling lifeless with spirits down.  These difficult nights, the lower right back pain and the burning bladder are all taking a toll on my body and my emotions.

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In today’s post I write the following –

The sleepless nights are starting to hit me hard.  I think I am averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, along with the pain.  The burning in my bladder is persistent and when I pee no matter night or day, the burning shoots from my bladder to my right kidney.  Upon waking in the mornings, I try to do a little stretching to help reduce the pain in my lower back.  The stretching does help my back feel better at times and other times it does not.  I cry about this new way of life I am experiencing.  The quality of life and the lack of happiness and lack of enthusiasm I have right now results in no motivation; results in nothingness from me.

I am just existing and accepting life as it is.  I keep telling myself, my life will be different several months from now and I believe it will.  But I also believe I will experience worse before I experience better.

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Image Provided by: bestofpicture.com

I try to remain optimistic, without being too pessimistic; I struggle every day because I need comfort that I am not receiving.  I am unsure exactly what that comfort is.  I talk with my mom and my dad and my sister and I tell them how I am feeling and Gary knows I experience pain every day.

I don’t know if I am wanting compassion, or comfort or something else that I am not currently receiving.  Part of me does not desire these things because I do not want people to really know how I am feeling.  I am just pretending to other people; telling them I am not feeling too bad, when in reality I am.  I am honestly miserable; I just hate the quality of my life right now.

The departing of ways with Dr. F. and the appointments in the future leave me with my own difficulties to deal with at this time.  I recently decided I needed to take medication that would help me and help my present life be better.  I hate taking medication, and I have always especially stayed away from pain medications.  But, I feel I have come to needing to take some type of medication at this time.

A couple of days ago, I started taking OTC medication for urinary pain relief and it has brought some relief.

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Image Provided by: bestofpicture.com

Mid-day I am taking an anti-inflammatory and evenings prior to bedtime I take a mild muscle relaxer.  These mild medications are allowing me some comfort in reducing pain and helping me to sleep a little better.

This is my life right now.