Come & Go

One Lovely Blog Award Border

Come & Go, I see it often

Sometimes I think about is it them or me

If it is me than I cannot be soften

One Lovely Blog Award BorderI am me & they are them

And we cannot all agree

But is it me, her or him

One Lovely Blog Award Border& I try my best to be for all

Though I know this is beyond my control

I do my best to make the call

One Lovely Blog Award BorderCome & Go, I see it more and more

But that is ok, because I myself sometimes

Will take advantage and even the score

One Lovely Blog Award Border

Valiant Blogger Award

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Recently my friend and fellow blogger Dolly nominated me for an award.  Thank you Dolly for nominating me for the Valiant Blogger Award; I am deeply honored.

Dolly and I have recently started following each other’s blogs and I feel fortunate our virtual paths have crossed.  Dolly, born in Russia is sharing her recipes on her blog koolkosherkitchen.  Please click her blog site name and visit her blog, you will not be disappointed.

If you visit the Hall of Valor you will find the following about this award –

The Valiant Blogger Award is for the blogger who is brave and courageous.  It is dedicated to someone who, despite being faced with the most difficult obstacles in life, chooses to fight on and never give up.  It is for the lionhearted, one who faces fears and challenges, who has become an inspiration to others along the way. 

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The rules of the award are –

1.Post the award on your blog.

2.Provide a link to the Hall of Valor

3.In 200 words or less, share about the greatest challenge in your life and HOW you got through it.

4.Give one piece of advice to people who are struggling with something in their life.

5.Thank the person who nominated you, and nominate a new blogger for the award.

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Many of you know I am dealing with cancer and most recently had a major surgery to remove organs that cancer had invaded.  After a couple of minor surgeries and chemotherapy last year you would think this is what I would use as my greatest challenge in my life.  But, it is not.

Back in July of last year, I wrote a post ‘Mother Mary‘, in which I wrote the following –

I talked with my mom a couple of weeks ago about this upcoming surgery, the most recent one; and I had told her, I said this is not the end, I feel it, I just know there is more to come.

And I told her also that I will get through it because this is not my greatest battle, my greatest battle has already occurred.  It was that depression, that great depression within me, about me that wanted to bring me down, wanted to end my life, kill me, destroy me – and I battled back, I found the strength and courage and I won that battle.  I overcame that which wanted to beat me down to nothing.

October of last year in my post ‘My Greatest Fight‘, I concluded with the following words –

At times of weakness I remind myself of the inner strength I have and the good mood returns.  As the fight and the battle continue, so does the mood continue to be good; for a good mood is strength to battle any fight.

This may not be my greatest battle; for now, this is my greatest fight.

My advice to everyone; no matter the struggle, battle or fight taking place –

From my post ‘strength‘ –

So, my post is about strength; I think that it is probably in all of us, it is in all of us somewhere.  And when we need it the most, I think we all can reach deep down and grab it and use it and get through any difficult situations we may be going through.  

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The person I wish to nominate does not usually accept awards and she is deserving of many of them.  I am going to nominate her anyway because she is an inspiration to me and has had her share of difficult obstacles in which she never gave up and she overcame.

My nomination is Lynn over at LYNZ REAL COOKING

(Lynn, you are in no way obligated to respond or accept this award.)

Where is my roadmap?

Where is my roadmap?  Or, I guess I should ask where is my GPS?

I could use Google Maps or MapQuest, Bing Maps or one of the many device app maps that are available to me.

At times, I ask where is my map?

My generation and generations before me used the Rand McNally paper maps when we traveled.  I guess these paper maps are now obsolete; but one can still receive them from their website.  If you are interested in a US Map, State Map, Regional Map or any other map, check out Rand McNally’s website – RAND MCCALLY STORE

Recently I was thinking about needing a map for life or maybe the correct word is roadmap.  For me there are times in my life I thought I needed a map of sorts – something to help me along the way – something to assist me in finding my destination.

Through my life there have been side destinations that were reached or short visits until I was ready to move again to the final destination.  That final destination I am referring to is death.

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Image Provided by: Oxford Poetry Election

Death the final destination has been on my mind for all my life and the road to it at times very rough.  I need a map to help me and at times it was made available to me in some form.

There is really no map available to us that explains where to go, what turns to make and when we should come to a complete stop before moving again.  Yes, I know there are religious texts, self-help books and other printed media that can help us, provide advice, and steer us to a better life.

I ask sometimes, what good is a map going to do for me?  It cannot foresee all that is ahead of me on the road; the obstacles, the accidents and the hazards and yes, the detours.

Many times I have driven without a map and just drove being careful along the way and making my way down this road of life.  I have made many mistakes; taken several wrong turns and made bad decisions that took me down roads that were dark and filled with unknowns.

Help and support signpost

Image Provided by: edlab.nl

I ask that those mistakes, wrong turns and bad decisions not be used against me once the final destination is reached.  Today and most likely tomorrow I will continue to make some bad decisions and make some wrong turns and again the road at times will seem long.

There is no Rand McNally Map, GPS or device app, no roadmap or book that explains where to go and what turns to make; just manuals to guide us along the way.

Big Day Monday

For over a year now, a long road has been taken to bring me to this point in my life.

A few words before the day –

Big Day Monday

(Note: my reference to the weather in Florida does not pertain to the whole state because a large portion is sunny and warm this time of year.  I am currently located in Pensacola, Florida and yes, it certainly does become cold here this time of the year)

Happy Year

Today 1 year ago, my post started with the following –

Happy New Year Everyone!

As I start this New Year, I first wanted to say ‘Thank You’ to each and every one of you that read my blog.  When I started this a little over 7 months ago I really had no idea where it would take me.  Really I was at a point where I was not doing much in my life.  At that time I knew my extreme Christmas decorating was not going to take place, so I had time on my hands to do something else.  And with me retired and not working, I have time on my hands.  So, what should I do?  I have always had the idea of writing a book about my life, I felt for me that was important.  But, deep inside I knew that would most likely not occur as I consider myself not a writer – I do not know where to start in writing a book.

So there I was last year with time on my hands and wondering what I should be doing with my time.  I could start a blog about me and my life; and that is what I did.  Would anyone read my blog about me and my life?  Would anyone really care about those things in my life that brought me to here today and a new year?  But I am not a writer; would people read and criticize my writing?  Should I expose the true me and everything about me?

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In today’s post, I write the following –

Happy 2017 Everyone!

The first day of 2016, I had no knowledge of what that year would bring.

The first day of 2017, I have some knowledge of what this year will bring.

I never write words that are not the truth and I never pretend to be something I am not.

This blog, my blog is about me and my life; my thinking, my emotions, my feelings, my experiences, and events that shape me.

I am privileged to have a platform to write and express me.

I am privileged to have a platform to read and comprehend you.

I write often ‘I appreciate you’, ‘Happy Day’ in posts and comments.

I do not have other words to describe my feelings for you who read my posts.

I will never have words that exactly describe my feelings for the support I receive here.

My wish is each of you have a year full happiness and whatever the journey you are on, that you never give up hope.

I will continue to write and post and I certainly will never give up hope.

I appreciate you, truly I do – happy year my friends.

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twenty-seventeen

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Image Provided by: Pinterest

 

Always laugh

when you can.

It’s cheap medicine.

–          Lord Byron

 

A poem I wrote to end this year.

twenty-seventeen –

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Image Provided by: Entrepreneur the Arts

It is another New Year’s Eve

It is another end to a year

Tomorrow is twenty-seventeen

And, I will have nothing to fear

 

For, there will be more days to come

And, there will be more days to go

Tomorrow is twenty-seventeen

But, one thing I tell you, I know

 

For the past, has proven me strong

Even when I felt I was weak

Tomorrow is twenty-seventeen

And, I have yet to reach my peak

 

My life is not over just yet

There is more to come, you will see

Tomorrow is twenty-seventeen

And soon, I will have no control of my pee

 

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Image Provided by: The Great Doodle Project

 

New Habit

I decided since it is the last month of the year, I would wrap up some topics that I started to write about and never did finish.  This post I started earlier this year, and then it sat quietly waiting for me to complete it.

Because my OCD tells me that if I start something I must complete it; this also applies to posts I write – I will be bothered if I do not complete them – so, here I am finishing this post and concluding this topic.

I believe next year will bring many different topics to write about and I have a feeling this one will not be one of them and will be left in the past.

So here we go –

This past year was significant for me – I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Bladder Cancer.

Here are some excerpts from previous posts I wrote since the beginning of this blog back in May, 2015 referring to smoking –

Post: My Life My Way

I am currently 55, so I am expected to die in 21 years.  And then take into account I need to minus an additional 10 years because I am a smoker, this takes me down to 11 years before I die.  Interesting to think about; I have 11 years before I die.  I am unsure why I am writing about this particular subject except to say, I really am not afraid to die and really have no doubts for those bad behaviors that could cause my death – I am living my life my way.

Post: Smoking Past – Smoking Present

On social media, I recently read about a person’s encounter with people who smoke.  This person observed a smoker who had no teeth, was coughing and had a ‘smoker’s voice’.  This person wrote that is was clear to them that this was cancer waiting to happen.

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Image Provided by: http://www.telegraph.co.uk

Post: Early Morning Rambling Thoughts

So today is day #5 without smoking and day #4 knowing I have bladder cancer.

Post: Decisions, Choices, cause and effect

As they have made decisions and lived with the outcomes, the results and consequences, so have I. I made decisions in my life to smoke and then to stop and start again and stop only to start again.  The smoking picked me with regards to giving me bladder cancer.  Yes, I did think about the consequences of my actions, but made the decision anyway.

Post: A Breakup Letter

I love you –

But your toxic love created harm in me.

I will miss you, but will move on, because you know –

I love me –

Terry

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Image Provided by: health.clevelandclinic.org

Today, I end with the following thoughts –

January 27, 2016, the day I quit smoking.  That is the day the new habit began.

What once brought me comfort and pleasure is no longer in my life.  Smoking most likely is a factor in my bladder cancer and it may be the death of me.  I deal with and accept the consequences of my actions.

Sailing

In my post ‘Welcome Aboard!‘, I wrote the following words –

Gary and I are setting sail on our cruise today.

I plan to take many pictures, some videos and hopefully will have a brain full of ideas for future posts.

In today’s post, I write the following words –

As promised, I took many pictures; here are a few of them.

Words from the song ‘Sailing’ by Christopher Cross.

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Well, it’s not far down to paradise, at least it’s not for me

And if the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility

Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see

Believe me

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It’s not far to never-never land, no reason to pretend

And if the wind is right you can find the joy of innocence again

Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see

Believe me

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Sailing takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

And soon I will be free

Fantasy, it gets the best of me

When I’m sailing

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All caught up in the reverie, every word is a symphony

Won’t you believe me?

Sailing takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

And soon I will be free

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Well it’s not far back to sanity, at least it’s not for me

And if the wind is right you can sail away and find serenity

Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see

Believe me

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Sailing takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

And soon I will be free

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here is your answer

There are many posts on this blog that describe me; my personality, my physical body, my mind, my habits, my behaviors and many other aspects me.

I am not Ricky

There is a word that others use to describe me – I do not use it – society decided to give it to me – others decided to label me with it.

I have used the label, the word that others describe me here a couple of times in posts – not to label me, and not to describe me.

What am I really writing about here?

Having written over 600 posts since the start of this blog; some topics come to me in an instant while others I think about for awhile.  This post came to me per a comment I received from a reader.  I receive many comments here on my blog, and I respond to 99.99% of them.  I have a few comments that require approval; these are from readers who are commenting for the first time and yes, I have a couple of readers that I have their comments go to the ‘Pending’ folder because they left a previous comment that I did not appreciate.  Okay, let’s move on.

Recently I had a comment in my ‘Pending’ folder from a first-time comment reader.  I was not offended by the comment, but it did involve a detailed response from me.  You know me, sometimes I respond to comments via a post – here is that post.

The reader that left that comment; I did not approve your comment, but here is my response.  Your comment mentioned the ‘G’ word, the word others use to describe me; but does it describe me?

Am I a ‘Gentleman’, some would think so.  Am I ‘Gentle’, I can be.  Am I a ‘Gem’, well ask Gary.  Am I ‘Gracious’, ‘Gratifying’, ‘Guiltless’, ‘Growing’ and ‘Groovy’?  These are words that can describe me.

That other ‘G’ word, if I am correct; the word was used in 2 posts here on my blog; I do use it often, as I really do not like it much.  Have I use the ‘G’ word to describe myself?

The answer is in the many posts published on my blog.

Last year, I wrote a series of posts to describe me, to expose me and let you know me – to meet me.

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Image provided by: spearfruit.com

You can read these posts and find if I used the ‘G’ word or not to describe me –

Easy to Label, Easy to Judge

Being Different – aren’t we all

Word Meanings

my sexuality will die with me

‘The Outcast’

Queer, Geek, Gay

I Am Me

Okay, again for that reader that left the comment – here is your answer –

Gary and I have been mistaken for brothers many times.  There are many of us out there everywhere, and you say you have not met anyone from that side – you most likely have – you just did not know it.  Crystal clear is a word that is always crystal clear.  You know when you know – for some that is earlier and for others that is later.  Many people can become anything they want to be, many people choose to be something, anything they want to be.  I choose not to be anything, something I am not – but instead I am who I am.

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My rant is over… I actually wanted to start with ‘Thank you for your comment.’

Just Sing, Sing A Song

Not quite a week has passed since Thanksgiving; and the past holiday was spent eating lots of food, resting, relaxing and spending time with my family.

There were no Black Friday sales for me last Friday – I left that up to others.

There were no movies this past weekend – too many people out and about.

Today another Tuesday and the week after Thanksgiving and all is calm, peaceful, and easy.

Several weeks ago, fellow blogger and friend Brooke over at theutopiauniverse published a post ‘SATURDAY’, that I felt appropriate for today; Tuesday.

When I read the post, for some reason it reminded me of the song ‘Sing’ by ‘The Carpenters’.

The lyrics and tune are simple and I think sometimes it would be nice if life was the same – simple.

But sometimes this time of year with the holidays – life is all but simple.

When I read Brooke’s post several weeks ago, I thought it simple – she took simple words and reminded us all to do something simple –

Don’t Forget To Live

Thank you, Brooke, for the reminder, I appreciate it very much.  For those readers unfamiliar with Brooke’s blog, please take a visit to her site theutopiauniverse.

The ending lyrics to the song ‘Sing’ by The Carpenters are –

Sing, sing a song

Make it simple to last

Your whole life long

Don’t worry that it’s not

Good enough for anyone

Else to hear

Just sing, sing a song.

If today you are working, resting, relaxing, shopping, seeing a movie or something else.  Remember what Brooke tells us –

Don’t Forget To Live

Let’s also not forget what The Carpenters sang 43 years ago –

Sing, sing a song.

Make it simple to last

Your whole life long